Haven (18+)

I often wonder what it would be like to have control. Although I want for nothing in my life, in that I am clothed, housed and fed, I don’t actually have any say over my life or my mind or my body. I wonder if I’m actually incapable of managing myself at all, so that’s why I don’t have any choices left to me. It’s for my own good, so I am told.

Master said he would take care of me. That I wouldn’t have any issues, worries or concerns. That he would fill me with everything I needed. And that he has, just not in the way I could have ever imagined. Not in my wildest dreams or my worst nightmares.

I remember a restaurant, perhaps downtown. We could have met there by chance. Or maybe I worked there and he was a customer… I guess it doesn’t really matter now. I know I was a few years out of college, enjoying a quiet but somewhat solitary life, as I don’t recall any close friends or a boyfriend. I lived alone and clearly wasn’t highly motivated as far as a budding career goes.. I’m confident I would remember that. I was happy with the little I had. But I was lonely.

I was an only child, my parents having me later in life. My childhood was unremarkable but I was deeply loved. Mum and Dad sadly passed away in a car accident some years ago, leaving me all alone in the world. It’s no surprise looking back now, that I latched onto the first man to pursue me in the way that Master did. He was so thoroughly convincing that I had quickly become an important part of his life, he infused me with confidence and fulfilled the promise of always taking care of me.

I still don’t understand why he wanted me so much. Just plain old me, not much to offer, not much to contribute. Easily lead so it seems. He wasn’t desperate for me, don’t get me wrong. Master would never stoop so low as to display desperation. It was more like completing a transaction, and convincing me that the terms were in my favour. And convince me he did. And now time has slipped away so quickly and unnoticed, so much that I don’t recall much of my life before him, and although I can’t imagine my life without him, I dread to admit to myself that this is all my life will be. That I am worth… this.

I am now contracted to him as a mindless , unintelligent possession. I signed the documents he presented to me all that time ago, and he reminds me often that I am legally bound to him. I am now nothing but a body with holes. In his convincing but crude manner, he promised to satisfy me, by filling those holes. In my naivety in the early days I thought he had meant a delicious meal, to fill my stomach, but now I know so very differently.

I am forbidden to speak. I am forbidden to resist. I must accept any and all actions Master imposes upon me without question. If I don’t, there are consequences. Basic human liberties denied to me, but in a way, I accept the punishment, knowing that I should have just followed the rules. Like a rat being led through a maze, being electrocuted when it takes a wrong turn, until it learns the correct way. Starvation, sleep deprivation, sensory deprivation and overload, shock collars, behaviour control, physical pain, emotional pain, pleasurable pain… I had experienced it all.

I live in Master’s house. When Master allows it, I wear the clothes of his choosing, otherwise I am naked. I eat when Master orders me to. I am expected to be available for Master’s bidding at any time of the day or night.

My body belongs to Master, although he has never touched me. He is the instructor. He is the architect behind every scene, coordinating every participant and the role they play. And I am the holes they use. It is the only thing I have that is of any value. My holes are used for their pleasure and mine, for their punishment and mine, displaying Master’s complete and utter control.

Tonight we going to the Club. I am wearing my highest heels, a tiny black tutu skirt and a black leather corset. My chest is covered but I am naked from the waist down, the skirt sitting high on my hips, showing the world every inch of me. Benny is with us tonight, wearing his long, tight leather pants with his muscular chest bare.

Master tugs on our leashes as we walk obediently behind him, towards his usual booth. The lighting is dark and sensual, the Club always smelling of sin and sex. Darkened booths, stages for various scenes, private rooms and of course the beautiful mahogany bar are simply part of my peripheral view. My eyes are always, without exception, downcast to the floor.

We reach his usual booth and Master slides in to the corner. Benny drops to his knees on the floor by Master’s legs and for his quick action he is rewarded with an affectionate pat on the head. I remain standing, head down and awaiting his next instruction.

“Legs apart. Elbows on the table,” he says with his usual commanding tone, leaving me with no choice but to obey.

My heels are so high that when I lean my elbows on the round table, my arse is perched high in the air, every part of me on display. My humiliation and submission is what Master wants and that’s what he will get. My only saving thought is that at least the people all around me can’t see my face and nor can I see theirs. They are all faceless, nameless nobodies that I will never meet in another life, they will never recognise me or know my name. I can be a humiliated, degraded, shameful, invisible nobody of no importance and no significance to anyone in this life.

So, with every part of me exposed, except my withering soul, it’s there I stay, as instructed.

Master enjoys a nice meal and a wine. Benny also eats but his plate is on the floor next to him, although he is allowed to use cutlery.

And still I stay.

Security wanders past, checking the welfare of the clientele. They all know Master well, and spend little time or consideration of my status. They have a cheerful conversation about how busy the Club is tonight and after a few minutes they move away.

Sweat begins to form on my back and my face. My legs occasionally trembling as I hold my position. The consequences of moving without permission, is not something I am willing to risk.

A server enters the edge of my vision and brings a small bowl of water and places it on the table. I know it’s there, right in front of me, but I dare not move a muscle. It’s probably not for me anyway, another mindfuck to test my boundaries and push me beyond my limits, only to be punished either here in front of an audience or at home… which may be worse.

My back muscles spasm painfully with the arced position I’m in.

My breathing picks up as I struggle to maintain my balance, black dots prickle at the back of my eyes.

The minutes tick by agonisingly slowly. The noise in the Club fades around me, the trance music, the sounds of sex, the muffled groans of whispered desires and depravity.

All I want is some fucking water.

Finally Master pushes the bowl towards me and gives me a small nod. I bend down further and lick the water greedily from the bowl. Like a damn dog. But I don’t care. I’m an invisible nobody.

“Good evening Master K,” a formal, slightly scratchy voice says from behind me.

“Good evening Master Damien, Master Remy,” my Master replies.

“I trust you’re enjoying your night?” Master Damien enquires. Although I can’t see his face, I get the impression he has a devious smirk and even more devious intentions.

“Of course. Is there something I can help you with?” Master gets to the point. He doesn’t like needless conversation.

“Our subs need to… let off some steam. We were hoping you could assist.”

“Yes, the holes are always open,” he replies with a sinister chuckle.

“Benny. Make sure they’re wet,” he clicks his fingers and yanks Benny’s leash towards me.

I retreat into the furthest corner of my mind. I know my body will react in a way that screams consent, but my mind needs protection from what these actions are doing to me. My value as a person with thoughts and feelings and emotions is dying. And I have no idea how to make it stop. I am nothing but a body with holes about to be used. My only use. My only value.

Benny crawls underneath the table, and situates himself between my legs. I can’t see him as I’m bent over the tabletop too far. I feel his hand gently caress my calf as if to ground me for what is about to happen. I feel his hot breath against me and then a long lick of his tongue from my arse to my clit and back again. My body reacts accordingly and I shudder with pleasure, useless to resist the anticipation of the gratification still to come.

He silently moves away from me and resumes his kneeled position next to Master. The rattle of chains refocuses my attention to the two male subs, suddenly and roughly manoeuvring my body around, after Master has obviously given them the nod to begin. A chair appears and one sub sits on it. I am pushed down onto his lap, legs straddling his thighs. He immediately pulls me into him harder and his thick cock thrusts inside me. My instinct is to pull away but instead I just close my eyes and try to focus on the pleasure and nothing else. Not about my self-worth or that my life has come down to this. Another body pushes against my back and I am filled with another cock from behind. Large hands clamp me into place while I am fucked by these two subs. I groan with the sensations that my body and brain has been conditioned to accept. My mistake for making a single sound is rectified quickly as a gag is shoved into my mouth. Tears escape my eyes and trickle down my face as I am railed relentlessly, the pain overlaps with the pleasure as these subs take what they want. I guess it might be the only thing they can control themselves tonight and they are taking full advantage. The sub behind me grunts in my ear about how filthy I am. He doesn’t need to convince me. I know I am. Filthy. Disgusting. Rotten. My orgasms come as I’m powerless to deny my bodies reaction, even though I despise it. Eventually the subs finish as well and I am repositioned back to elbows on the table, legs spread, mouth stuffed with a gag, and now with their cum leaking from my holes for anyone to see.

I don’t hear the ongoing conversation between the Masters as I try to find the strength to stay upright. Minutes tick by and it feels like hours and my body screams in silent protest. I am getting closer to passing out or collapsing to the floor at the very least, when finally Master announces that we are leaving. My back creaks as I straighten up to standing, more cum sliding down my shaky legs, as he tugs forcefully on my leash, leading me towards the door.

I doubt anyone will notice my spiralling turmoil. The mental black hole that I find myself in more and more often is the only protection I have left. I guess it’s lucky I’m being led away by a leash, my mind so blank that I don’t even notice the sharp sting of the cold night air on my skin.

But three sets of eyes do follow my movements, their expressions furious, angry and tipping over into murderous rage.