First Place
Chapter One: First Place
My breath was uncontrollable, putting all my passion in this match.
"You got this Mochi," Screams filled my ears, as the kick of my opponent blurred my vision.
The heat melted my skin, down to my feet. Her smile grew larger once I'd fallen to the ground. The crowd gasps.
She knelt to her knees as the match called off.
"Better luck next time." Her finger caressed my cheek. And her words echoed through me, lingering for a moment more.
"Mochi,"
I couldn't hold the weight of my own eyelids open any longer.
"Is she okay?" The gentleness of carrying me to an open space. I was unconscious yet knew my surroundings.
They let me rest as the competition went on, and my instructor withdrew me.
★☆
When I awoke, Sah ran to me with an ice pack. Knocked out in my own sweat was an unpleasant feeling, I've never felt more wet.
"Thank you," I say quickly, rubbing the ice all over my heated body.
I turned my focus to the current match, in front of me. She was competing, Pastel. The girl who beat me. I gritted my teeth, and clenched my hands into a fist at the thought of her. Sah's soft hands calmed mine.
"You did good," he pulled my chin towards him, "Pastel is a red belt," glancing into my eyes, losing my thoughts full of hatred and disappointment.
"You put up and fight!" He stood up, waiting for me to collide our palms.
I turned my head back to Pastel's match.
"And yet, I still didn't win." Sah's expression softened. "Can't win them all, but that's okay- it's not." I bit my lip.
I can't be this bad. Not when I've trained so hard to get to this moment. Just to be named second place.
I watched her playing style. Her sparring was incredible. The way she moves is so smooth and calm. But yet, her moves are predictable; she just moves too fast for a reaction from the opponent.
Pastel stuck her tongue slightly out from her mouth, showing some sharp teeth. Her eyes gazed upon mine, making direct contact. She mouthed the words, 'loser.' I clenched my drenched shirt. My heart beat was speeding up. My desire for winning isn't as weak as it was before I played against Pastel.
She smiled at my hatred, and yearning.
"Mochi, maybe you should head home." Sah dropped keys in my hands and pushed me towards Candy. "It's already late." Sah smiled at me before signaling Candy. She grabbed her keys from me and spit out her gum onto the sidewalk.
She looked so young for twenty-four. And dressed young too, her flared jeans and big fur boots, as well as her tight laced tank tops she always wears.
"Hey, focus." Her gold earrings hit against the car window as she fixed her makeup in the mirror. "You focus," I rolled my eyes as I opened the passenger car door, and her attention shifted.
"Uh-uh, I'm not the one who lost a match." I gritted my teeth. "What?" I say, tightening my grip on the handle. "I told you to breathe and calm down- like that'd help me." My parents' faces flashed in my mind, thinking how much they'd be proud of me just for getting to the third round. The cold air made me even more tearful. And the wind brushing my rosy cheeks.
"If maybe I trained harder I would've won, instead of being pronounced second to Pastel, again." I caught my tears from falling. My head lowered onto the car window, slamming my palms against my chest.
"Mochi no. You worked so hard, and everyone can see it." She stepped around the car towards me.
"Then why can't I do it?" Candy frowned, holding back her tears at the sight of mine.
"Let's get you home."
★☆
Candy helped me find my way back home, where I would be alone.
"Get some rest, and go to school tomorrow!" She said, setting up my alarm clock. "I know," facing the white ceiling thinking about them, my parents.
"You say that, then I get a call that you were absent." Her tone told me that she was tired of me, I can't blame her. Candy didn't ask to take care of me, instead she was told.
"I," the hesitation in my voice made me seem weak. "I promise." I placed my hand to my heart, where it beated slowly, as if my time was running out. "Okay, goodnight now Mochi." She closed the door and moments later I heard her car drive off. Nights like this, where the sky is so dark the stars paint the day, when you can't wait until morning because of how alone it makes you feel.
I always say they abandoned me, but in reality, I abandoned them.
The last thing I told her was, "I hate you." I regret it so much. These words of hatred are now imprinted into me.
I hold myself, falling asleep in my own arms, wishing they were someone else's.
★☆
The sound of the alarm shook me awake.
"Another harmful day awaits me," I say, shutting the noise off.
I drag myself out of bed, pour my coffee, and my hair.
"No makeup," I say, shoving it off to the side. I glance at a picture in the corner of me getting my first belt. "Taekwondo," my fingers caressed the smile on my face. "I was so happy. Now I can't rest until I'm the best."
The knock on the door is what makes me come to my senses. "Mochi," her voice echoed.
"Time for school," she frowns.
"When did you get here?" I stare out the window at her car.
"Just now. Didn't see me?" I shake my head.
"I'll take the bus," I didn't notice how dry our conversations were. "No way." She grabbed my hand forcing me out the door.
"Fine." I stomped to her car with a pinky face.
The whole ride was silent, crickets seemed to be laughing at us.
Candy hated me, but showed her love for me when no one else did. I know deep down, she wishes she didn't take this job. And I do too.
"Goodbye." Was the first and last thing we said to one another before leaving.
The school was flooded with students. As I walked down the narrow halls I drove my fingers down each wall I pasted. My feet are dragging on the floor.
"I can't wait to leave." My eyesight started to get blurry, and my breath was getting heavy. "I need to hold it in, I can't let that happen at school." I closed my eyes and breathed before walking again. I mugged everyone that glanced at me, and they returned it.
Until this one girl looked at me with pretty doe eyes, the cutest bunny teeth, blond hair, and a skirt with a laced, grey, tank top. Coming up to me she spoke softly, "hey, what's your name?" Sent from heaven, I responded quickly, with a big stutter. "Mochi," her caramel eyes glistened. "Oh! That's so adorable," her reactions were so cute. She's like a living doll.
"And yours?" I ask. She blankly stares at me, as if she didn't have a name.
"Vanillye," the shameful look on her face made her eyes look dull.
"It's almost as beautiful as you, Vanillye." She beamed like the sun, but shined just as the stars aligned.
We shared silence, but our eyes talking with love.
"Mochi," she grabbed my hands, placing them to her heart.
"Marry me!" She pleaded. Adding extra glitter to her eyes.
I laughed it off, hoping we'd become amazing friends.
As she walked me to my class, our fingertips caressed one anothers. Making her cheeks tint pink.
"You better get going. See you!" Her little run to her classroom was so cute.
Walking into the room was anxious, not knowing anyone. Just stares from strangers, hoping judgment is forbidden.
I took an open seat by the window, slamming my books onto the table with unexpected papers flying out.
A stranger helped me pick them up.
"Taekwondo?" he murmured, waving it in front of me.
"That's my sport," our eyes met as he pulled the papers away, reading them.
"Woah, you're pretty good!" He chuckled.
"That's none of your business." My tone of voice was cold, as my eyes narrowed and I stood up.
"Hand them to me." Towering over him I forcefully took them out of his hands.
"I was just checking them out." He rolled his eyes, relocating his desk. Stupid.
This is why I hate boys. So annoying and nosy.
"Excuse me?" A voice called, startling me.
I turn behind me, locking eyes with the male voice.
"Is this yours?" He held out a book, with a smile on his stupid face.
"It is." My hands spoke before me, grabbing them before he could react.
"You're welcome." His voice was deep, but soft, full of passion, and love. All the emotions poured into a cup, would equal him.
I glanced back at him. His eyes looked dull while his friends pressured him, he stared down at his paper and a pen in his hand. He squinted and his eyebrows furrowed.
"Do it yourself." His friend's hands flew off him as he stood up, with his fists clenched the whole time.
His friend caught me staring, "ha! He's a tough man!" I rolled my eyes, making a disgusted face at him. Watching his smile fade.
I counted all my sports papers, and organized my studies. Seeing how many competitions I've been in, and how much I've lost ignoring my wins.
"Damnit." I say, biting my fingers. "I need to be better." My fists collided with the desktop. The room fell into silence. All eyes on me, I put my head down on my desk. I'm so tired, yet I haven't done anything.
I gently closed my eyes, wishing that in the next competition I'll win and become better than everyone. The top of the food chain.
I'll become a goddess to them, they'll be pleading with every step I take. I will become more than they ever could imagine.
"Mochi?" Someone called. My energy couldn't evolve. I couldn't look up or even make a sound. A soft hand touched my neck. "Hello?" I jumped up. My strength flowing through my veins again.
"Pay attention to class." I nodded. Putting my forms back into my folders.
★☆
"Thank you." My tray was filled with all sorts of nutrients.
I looked into the crowd of people, no table was open for me to be seated at.
"Outside would be better." I smiled, walking out into the spring breeze. Green grass, with cherry blossom tree petals smoothing with the slight wind.
I sat down on the bench, under a beautiful tree.
"I'm not even hungry." I say, staring at my tray full of food. "This looks disgusting. Everything does." I set my tray down beside me.
I held back any fear of losing, only feeling the power of winning. "Why aren't I good enough? I train so hard with barely any resting time, and I'm still not good enough?" My hands crowded my face, scratching at my skin. Kicking the dirt that lays below me. And with each kick I screamed.
"The lies everyone told me about me, 'being good.'" that stupid male face flashing in my mind. I bit my fingers, "purple belt isn't good enough to satisfy me or anyone for that matter." I rushed back to the classroom with all my folders on my desk. Pulling the Taekwondo one to the side, and searching for the importance of my file.
It makes me look so.....weak. I bit my fingers, Pastel's file looks so much more mature and nicer.
"Hey," a familiar voice whispered in my ear. I looked up to find that annoying guy from earlier, and his stupid smile.
"What're you doing?" He asks, turning his head to my paper. He sat in front of me, in a chair but, backwards?
"None of your business." I held my file closer. "oh come on," he smiled.
"ew, don't touch me." A man's touch is like rubbing a disgusting liquid on yourself. Revolting.
"Mm?" He tilted his head. "Are you sexist?" So blunt, and annoying.
"No, of course not." I say, packing my folders neatly up.
"Okay, then why are you being so mean? I don't even know your name yet!?" I rolled my eyes. "Let's keep it that way." I carried my folders in my arms as I walked out the classroom and into the hallways.
"Let's be friends!" His footsteps made it clear he was jumping around. "Not interested." I yawn out of boredom.
"I'm Cassian!" He announced, and waited for my answer next.
I stood in silence. Watching his smile crack by the minute.
"Mochi, my beloved. I found you!" Vanillye called as she ran to hug me. "I missed you. My class is super boring-" she cut off as soon as she glanced at Cassian, who was smirking at me.
"Mochi, huh?" Cassian said.
"Damnit. Now he knows my name." I roll my eyes at the thought of us being 'friends".
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Vanillye apologized, holding my hands up to her face kissing them.
"No need, it's alright Vanillye!" Cassian smiled, revealing his vampire-like teeth.
"You're so sweet to Vanillye, but to me you're so mean.." My eyes narrowed at the sight of him. "You're annoying." Vanillye's eyes widened as she caught my words.
"Huh? That's so mean of you, Mochi, he's only trying to make friends!" Her lips puffed up at me. "You're cute, so." I looked at Cassian and stepped closer. Really close. "I'm sorry, for.. being mean to you." His stupid face smiled at mine. "I'll accept." His eyes peered into mine, and for once. I smiled back at him.
"You guys are so cute- eugh, as if." I grabbed Vanillye's hands and walked out the room.
"That was nice of you!" Vanillye said. Her smIle made me do it.
"Yeah." I didn't mean it. How could I? He's been following me all day, like a lost puppy. An annoying one too.
"Huh? Oh no, I'm going to be late, bye-bye Mochi!!" She scurried along the halls. Now it was just us in those empty hallways.
I glanced down at my hands, with red spots and bite marks all over them.
"It's getting worse, isn't it?" My vision started getting blurry, the sun shining through the window was the only thing I could see. I tried masking it the whole day, but that seemed to make it worse.
"I just need..." I sat down against a wall, facing the open window. "I'm missing class but whatever." I held my face with my hands and knees, and as I closed my eyes, my mother's smile flashed in my mind. "Why do you keep coming up?" My knuckles press against my head, repetitively.
★☆
My mind was dizzy, but I still made it.
"You're late." The teacher announced.
"I caught that." My reply didn't look or sound good, but I didn't have time to argue. I just needed to sit down. But he stared at me, "s-sorry." I said before he continued class.
I walked to my seat, accidentally making eye contact with Cassian. He looked unwell, is he okay?
My eyes seemed heavy, don't faint. Not here. I bit my hands. My surroundings seem quieter than usual.
I looked out the window, watching the trees blow in the wind, seeing the soccer field from here. Admiring the flying leaves. Just stay awake...
As the time passed my faintness got worse. I couldn't hear, and everything was blurry.
"Mochi?" Cassian?
"Are you okay?" I nod, knowing fully I'm not here. "You- Mochi!!?" He yelled. My head fell down onto my desk, creating a loud noise.
Looks like I couldn't make it.
