Gruation
The night is cold, the kind that creeps in through the cracks and lingers. I am lying face down on my bed, my face buried deep in the pillow, trying to muffle the sound of my own sobbing. My chest feels heavy, my head aches, and no matter how much I try to stop, the tears keep coming. It has been hours since Jessica ended things, but the words still echo in my head.
She said she just did not feel the same way anymore. At first, she blamed it on her moods, something about hormones and emotions being all over the place, but I knew better. No one breaks up over something temporary. The truth came out soon enough, she had a crush on Brockley. She wanted to be with him, and I was just in the way. That was it. Just like that, after everything, she chose someone else.
I cannot process it. Not on top of everything else. College has already been a brutal reality check, and now this? It feels like too much at once. The stress, the constant pressure of assignments, exams, and deadlines… and now heartbreak added to the mix. I feel completely drained. And yet, time does not stop for me. Days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months.
Fast forward two months, and here I am, standing in my graduation gown, pretending I am fine. Maybe I actually am. Maybe I am just too exhausted to care anymore. Either way, I am here, and I made it. I worked myself to the bone, and somehow, I am walking away with both a psychology and law degree. It almost does not feel real.
I stand among the other graduates, surrounded by chatter and excitement, but the only person I care to see is Jayn Looker. My best friend. My only friend. It is strange to think that we met by complete accident, and maybe we were never even supposed to meet at all.
Two years ago, I left class to use the restroom. I would not have thought anything of it if I had not heard the noises coming from one of the stalls. Shuffling, heavy breathing, frustration. I hesitated for a moment before knocking. No answer. Another knock. Eventually, the stall door cracked open, and there he was, Jayn, eyes red, face tense, looking like he was about to lose his mind.
He was desperate for a cigarette but had no lighter. No one would lend him one, and the craving had pushed him over the edge. He was in tears, barely holding himself together. I do not know why I did it, but I stayed. I talked to him, tried to convince him he did not need it. I told him I would help him quit, that I would do whatever it took. He was not easy to deal with, he is tough, stubborn, and built like a wall. But something about that moment changed things.
We ended up studying together. Spending time together. Somehow, that turned into a friendship. Neither of us had friends before, so maybe that is why it mattered so much. It was not just about having someone to talk to, it was about realizing we did not have to go through everything alone.
And now, here we are, standing side by side at graduation. Everything we went through, everything that led up to this moment, it all feels distant now. But it is still there, buried beneath the surface, stitched into everything we have become.
