Back to Story

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What is your opinion?

Cool 😎

"Interesting storyline. "

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Rank and Risk

"I really enjoyed it!"

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Short and sweet

"Sweet short story. Just a couple of suggestions: 1. either combine the chapters so they aren't as short or even better expand your chapters, adding in more details and background. 2. Double check your story for inconsistencies, for example. At the beginning of the story, you said he'd barely noticed her, and they rarely spoke, or I talked. Later, you said they had been hanging out for a year. Didn't know she had a roommate after a year? Didn't know her job? Ryan was his brother, then just a neighbor. If his brother then, he would have been related to the baby when trying to get custody.when Ryan went into witness protection, why didn't he take his child with him? Where did the mother go? Clarifying the little things like that will make a much better story. I think you have the beginnings of an exceptional story, I loved the concept and the plot. Something I've never read before. Keep writing✍️! 😀"

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