I JUST BROKE #GIRLCODE

Hmmmm guilt, so this is how it feels, tastes like. How did it all come to this, is it lack of love or just being a villain.

YOOO!! it's me. yes I was the one was saying all the cryptic stuff earlier. Now seriously how did it all come to this. Let's go back to the beginning.

My name is Alex and I am so the victim in this story. At least that's what I thought a few months back. I did the most terrible thing a girl could do, well a girl with a conscience. It all started with a text. I knew I shouldn't have entertained that, it came under the guise of a catch-up conversation. Of course it didn't look suspicious, just two old friends catching up and having fun. That friendship was weird in the first place, I guess I didn't give a fuvk or rather I gave the wrong fuvks. Like right now, I don't give a fuvk about how I spell fuvk.

There have been a confession in the past but I thought we were past that. But it came up again and maybe I was enjoying it, the idea of being wanted by someone apart from my family. Like who would ever love this bony piece of thrash. I always have to reassure myself that I was okay, beautiful and desirable. Well I did start to believe it at some point, but that feeling of self doubt kept crawling back. I knew it was forbidden, but I enjoyed the thrill of being "mature", being "loved" and taking risks.

So I have a close friend Lisa and it's almost like a best friend kinda thing but I wouldn't admit it. I found it hard having another best friend asides from my sister and someone who has been present but also absent in my life. We've always maintained a close relationship despite her character or my lack of affection. By her character, I mean being manipulative, dramatic and a bit psycho when it comes to her thoughts.

Now let's start this properly.