Episode 1: The Racially Charged Burger
SCENE 1: THE AGENCY OFFICE (A.K.A. THEIR FILTHY CRACKHOUSE HQ)
The office looks like it was condemned by five health inspectors and a Catholic priest.
Half-eaten shawarma on the ceiling.
Mysterious fluids dripping from a fax machine that hums with demonic energy.
Papers scattered everywhere, scribbled with cursed conspiracy theories like:
“Black people can’t swim. PROVE ME WRONG.”
“France invented Morocco in 1956.”
“White people discovered rap.”
Zaki’s on the couch, scrolling his phone like it owes him money.
Hicham’s trying to drink water from a cracked cup that leaks more than the Moroccan government.
HICHAM
(staring at the fax machine)
“Bro, why does our fax machine sound like a Facebook uncle?”
ZAKI
(not even looking up)
“I think it got hacked by someone from Ohio.”
Suddenly—BOOM—Siham materializes like a tax audit. She’s holding a glowing contract that pulses with chaotic energy.
SIHAM
(deadpan)
“Congrats. You two have your first assignment. Don’t screw it up or I’m deporting you to Tunisia.”
ZAKI
(alarmed)
“Wait—what??”
HICHAM
(panicking)
“Can she do that???”
Before they can protest, the front door slams open like it’s in a telenovela.
SCENE 2: THE CLIENT FROM HELL
Enter: a man.
Kind of.
He wears a cheap business suit, but his face glitches between human features and a low-res JPEG of Elon Musk.
His shadow is dabbing. On its own.
His tie is dragging like it lost the will to live.
MYSTERIOUS MAN
(distorted voice)
“I want… a burger.”
HICHAM
(squinting)
“Nah, bro. That ain’t a normal request.”
ZAKI
(blinking)
“We don’t even SELL food?”
Suddenly, the walls turn into raw meat.
The ceiling? A blinking eyeball.
Everything smells like burnt hair and racial tension.
HICHAM
(looking around)
“This feels racist somehow.”
SCENE 3: THE “BURGER” MISSION
Siham drops a glowing scroll on the desk, then vanishes into thin air like a Moroccan dad when the bill comes.
ZAKI
(reading)
“To make the Ultimate Burger, you will need:
Brioche buns stolen from a rich French guy.
A tomato that has seen war crimes.
Meat from an animal that does not exist.
A single pickle (but it must be acquired through great struggle).”
HICHAM
(frowning)
“Bro… why does it say ‘Side effects may include colonization’??”
They blink—
And they’re suddenly in Paris.
SCENE 4: STEALING BREAD FROM A FRENCH GUY
Inside a bougie café, a snobby French man named François is delicately eating a golden brioche bun like it’s sacred.
FRANÇOIS
(nose aggressively upturned)
“Zis is ze most delicate, superior bread in ze world. Only ze white hands may touch it.”
ZAKI
(whispering to Hicham)
“Bro just said that like he wasn’t gonna get robbed.”
Hicham roundhouse kicks him in the neck like it’s Mortal Kombat.
They grab the bun.
Jump into a glowing portal.
Zero consequences.
SCENE 5: THE WAR CRIME TOMATO
Boom.
They land in a battlefield straight out of Call of Duty: Middle East Expansion Pack.
Bullets. Bombs.
One tomato sits alone, visibly shaking.
TOMATO
(traumatized whisper)
“I saw things, man. I SAW THINGS.”
HICHAM
(staring)
“Bro… is that tomato TALKING??”
Suddenly—
A white U.S. soldier appears.
SOLDIER
“STOP! That tomato is classified U.S. property!”
ZAKI
(sighing)
“Bro, you Americans steal everything.”
SOLDIER
(offended)
“That’s not true! Name one thing we stole!”
HICHAM
(deadpan)
“Bro… Africa is missing half its artifacts.”
They dropkick him. Steal the tomato. Jump through another portal.
As always: no reflection, no trauma, just vibes.
SCENE 6: THE MEAT THAT SHOULDN’T EXIST
They land in a dimly lit butcher shop run by a GIANT PIGEON wearing a gold chain.
PIGEON BUTCHER
(gravelly voice)
“You want meat? You must pay… with knowledge.”
HICHAM
(grinning)
“Did you know white people can’t tell the difference between Moroccan and Algerian food?”
The pigeon nods. Hands them a glowing, twitching slab of meat.
ZAKI
(poking it)
“What animal is this from?”
PIGEON BUTCHER
(staring into his soul)
“Yes.”
Another portal. No questions asked.
SCENE 7: THE FINAL BOSS – THE PICKLE
They land in a cursed supermarket.
A Karen blocks the pickle aisle like Gandalf on meth.
OLD LADY
(smug)
“I’m not moving. This is MY aisle.”
Every time they try to pass, she shuffles side to side like an Elden Ring enemy.
ZAKI
(serious)
“Bro… she’s the final boss.”
Hicham throws hot sauce at the sprinklers. Fire alarm goes off. Chaos erupts.
She panics and flees.
Behind her: the Sacred Pickle.
Grabbed.
Secured.
Yeeted through the final portal.
SCENE 8: THE “ENDING” THAT ANSWERS NOTHING
They slam the completed burger on the table.
The glitching client morphs into…
A regular white guy. In cargo shorts.
CLIENT
(smiling)
“Thanks, guys. You saved reality.”
HICHAM
(blinking)
“…What just happened?”
Siham materializes. Takes a huge bite of the burger.
SIHAM
(casual)
“Great job. You didn’t die. Now fix the French Revolution you accidentally restarted.”
Hard cut to credits.
POST-CREDIT SCENE
• Kamal is chased by angry French bakers with flaming baguettes.
• The pigeon butcher is now running for president.
• Zaki and Hicham stare at the camera, emotionally dead inside.
ZAKI
“Next time, let’s just say no.”
HICHAM
“Next time, I’m bringing snacks.”
⸻
END OF EPISODE 1.
Brain cells lost: too many.
Respect for logic: nonexistent.
Will they survive Episode 2?
Probably not.
