A hero…
She stood next to her mother as they watched the man getting congratulated for his heroic act, they sang praises of his name as he stood in front of them and smiled. The girl, behind shadow kept her head down, her body there but her spirit quite far away. "hero" they called him..that's the only thing she could hear them say
"Mr foster, thank you for saving my daughter! I don't know what would've happened if you didn't show up" a woman praised, tears streaming down her eyes as she held the frail, trembling body of her daughter. The woman's daughter was shy, dressed in only towel, she held onto her mother's body, she wanted to make sure she was still there. Still alive.
"Ella" a woman whispered to her daughter "fix your expression"
Ella was the girl standing behind the man who had just saved a life. Thick curly hair, brown glowing skin , standing with a height of 165cm. Ella was the epitome of beauty..yet as she stood behind the shadow of her father she felt repulsive, disgusting even. Her mind swirled with thoughts yet none were audible which annoyed her, she needed to find a thought loud enough to distract her from the play displayed in front of her.
"Head straight young lady" her mom had murmured
Head straight, smile, speak softly and don't forget to be polite. Those were the rules that her family had set for themselves In public. They could not allow the public to find one flaw about them. Yet there were more flaws about this family than they could count.
She held her head straight, her eyes dead like, with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Now that she was looking at them, every word, every praise were so single clear that she could puke.
"Hero...?"she thought to herself, they were all gathered in front of the neighbors house, her father had just saved a girl from sexual assault. The little frail girl that was saved was about the same height as Ella, and her mom had claim that she was only sixteen which was also Ella's age.
"I only did what anyone should do in these situations" Mr foster had said, with a smile so bright it could be used as a night stand.
In this moment, the world saw Ella's father as a warrior, a savior. He had fought against three men, and of course had not made it out without bruises but all that mattered was that he had gotten the girl out safe. Why wouldn't they call him a hero? Technically speaking he was one? Wasn't he?
An elderly lady who seemed to be in her seventies had approached Ella after hugging the hero, she had come and shake Ella's hand with a grateful smile "Your father is an amazing man, you must be proud" the woman had opined blissfully. Ella in answer gave her a small smile accompanied by a nod. The woman had then proceed to walk over to Ella's mom, who had already placed on humanity most fake joyous expression.
"Your husband is very good, he is a good man Mrs foster. The little Samantha could've died but he put his life on the line to save her" the woman had beamed with gratitude to which Mrs foster answered "We are so glad that your daughter is safe now, he is indeed a good man. I tell him that everyday" a flicker of amusement had traversed Ella's eyes, this is getting ridiculous she had thought to herself.
"you must be proud" the woman's word had echoed in Ella's ears. She should be.
She should feel be feeling a sense of pride to her father's heroic act. She should be grateful. she had such a great father, one who had put his life on the line for someone else. She should be smiling and be glad about the fact that the girl had gotten out safe and untouched. She should be hugging her dad and tell him how proud she is of him. But she's not. Instead of gratitude, happiness and pride. Ella felt resentment as she stood still, her nails scratching the palm of her right hand. She looked at back of his head, but instead of the hero everyone saw, she saw a villain, a monster, a man with no heart, a man whose words scattered and destroyed lives. He was their heroes yet her nightmare.
Sure Mr foster had saved a girl from getting her innocence and life taken away. But he had been the one to take Ella's. He had been the one whose hands wandered around her body while she silently screamed for help, he had been the one whose fingers had entered a place she was supposed to deem sacred. But here he was, smiling at those people proudly, and accepting a title that he was not deserving of.
She contemplated his face, no matter how shiny his teeth were when he smiled, or how bright the light people had placed him under shined, its couldn't hide the evil in his eyes. She couldn't see the wonderful man people were congratulating, she only could see the man who came to her room each night and undressed her, the man who broke her heart before anyone else could. He participated in giving her life, yet also participated in killing it.
Just yesterday night, this man who had been standing in front of her and beamed gracefully, had placed himself on top of her filthily, he had placed a hand over her mouth so she wouldn't be able to scream because the walls of the house were too thin, he had penetrated her with the same object he used to create her,
"Don't cry" he whispered obscenely in her ears
She stared at him with teary eyes while he smiled because all that mattered was that he got to successfully accomplish his fantasies, he kept going, and going and going, until she was completely numb, it shocked herself that she could even walk on this day. All of this happened while her mom sat in the opposite room and turned a blind eye on everything. She knew. of course she knew. But she had never, not once in 8 years try to stop this sickening nightmarish circus that had been going on inside the walls of a place Ella was supposed to call home.
She heard her daughter's whimpers and cries for help, yet never made the move to try to stop the man she had married. Ella had sometimes wondered whether her mother was really her mother or if she was just a robot placed to protect her husband's acts. Its was weird but it's seemed like none of them could really run away.
After finishing he would clean himself then lead himself out to his own room and proceed to fall asleep, while his sixteen years old daughter's body led on the bed numbly with no thoughts or idea of why this was happening to her.
Then mom would come in and sit next to Ella, she sat at the edge of the bed as if she felt a sense of guilt over this, but Ella knew she didn't. And if she did, she was successful at hiding it.
"He's not a bad man Ella" she stated calmly, her voice never gave any sort of emotion it was a never ending tone of indifference.
Not a bad man Ella had heard this so many times it was almost a repetitive song in her ears. Words she heard every night.
Her eight years old daughter self had believed this. The little Ella had put trust her in mother's word and refused to believe that her father was evil. she, just like mom found excuses to justify dad's actions. It had not been clear to why, but it's seemed she had to. Can you blame a little girl for defending her father ? Even if he had hurt her?
But sixteen years old Ella had gotten used to this, she now knew that he was in fact not a good man but she had to take in those words and convince herself.
Mrs foster would then proceed to clean up Ella, but what's the point of cleaning when an object had been put into dirts for years, no amount of soap or scrubbing would wash the lingering, disgusting touch her father had left on her. There was no healing because even if the door that held freedom was in reach of her hand, it's was out of reach for her mind. She was stuck in this never ending cycle. She could not escape, her body was not hers anymore.
"E- Ella" a voice had gotten Ella out of her thought and brought her back to the present, she looked and saw Savannah staring at her with what seemed to be worry, Savannah was not the only one staring, Ella's thought had dragged her so far off that it had probably worried people. Her father and mother were staring too yet for them it was not worry, it was more of a "watch yourself" look
"I have been calling your name for the past five minutes" Savannah's hand reach out to Ella's, which caused Ella to flinch. Physical touch had become a factor that triggered her defensive system.
Savannah dropped her hand to the side "I- I'm sorry" she said apologetically
"It's okay, little girl. Ella have been homeschooled for a long time, she's not used to so much people so it might be overwhelming her, right sweetie?" Mr foster had asked Ella with a smile that looked sincere in other's eyes yet predatory to Ella's.
Ella rushed to reply, the question her father asked already had an answer all she had to do was voice it "Yes. I'm sorry for that"
Savannah shook her head "it's Okay, your dad is right, it's must be overwhelming" she smiled sincerely "I just wanted to say that I am really grateful to your father, without him i don't know if I'd even be here. I want to thank you and your family sincerely. You and your mom must feel safe at home with a man like him at your sides"
At that sentence Ella had almost start laughing, safe was not the word she thought about, but she'd take it. She always did.
"Of course, I couldn't wish for any other dad. I'm glad you're safe." She stared at her father's eyes while saying this, the reply flowed so smoothly off her tongue its could almost pass as genuine. Behind the fatherly smile he threw her way was sickly laughs of a man who used his daughter as a sex toy.
For some people the devil was a red man with horns and a pointy tail. Ella's devil was a 6'2 man with brow eyes, with the face of an angel and a voice that enchanted everybody in his lies. After all the devil was the prettiest creation of God and his favorite but he ended up creating a storm in heaven. Just like her dad was seen as a savior yet was her persecutor.
In a world full of hypocritical, Ella's saw herself as the biggest one, because she alone made it all look painless while her soul bled.
