Prologue
Among the countless beings living in the world, none is as pathetic as the humble adventurer. This being would choose a life on the road scavenging for supplies instead of living comfortable in a house like the rest of us. Ragged and awful creatures.
Anyway, this is a story about them.
The group of adventures we will follow in this story is particularly pitiful. They had been on the road for 3 days traveling from the village of Brig to the town of Trost. Having not bathed since departing the village, you could probably smell this group before seeing them.
Among them was the tallest of the party a man called Hat or something. Or maybe it was Watt? Anyway, the man called Hat or Watt had a face like a statue, meaning it barely moved. To call him stone-faced would be an understatement as I’ve seen more expressive rocks than this guy. If he wasn’t an adventurer he could have easily found work as a ventriloquist since when he was speaking his mouth didn’t move. You might assume then by my description that he was the silent and stoic type. However this could not have been further from the truth. He would chat away hours upon hours about random stuff through clinched teeth.
Walking behind him is a man of average stature and hair. His clothes were average and his demeanor average. He gave of NPC energy and generally didn’t contribute anything to a conversation unless someone talked to him specifically. This behavior continued in fights even. Whenever the party got into trouble he could keep his own but he never ended up defeating anyone unless someone else from the party gave him a hand. His name? Theodore Sank the Third. With such an interesting name you would think there would be more interesting things to write about him, but alas he is just an average man on an average journey.
Who else was on this journey? Oh yes Elsa, a woman with an amazing memory who would never let go of anything. If you slighted her she would remember it till the end of days. The other members of the party would tell her to “Let it go” but she simply couldn’t. Whether a curse or a blessing remains to be seen, but she was really good at remembering people’s birthdays which is something I guess?
Walking beside her is another woman named Kitte. She is the leader of this group of misfits and outcasts with no friends. She has a strong sense of justice bordering on exaggerated. Whenever the party was eating food she would bring out her scale weight and measure to make sure everyone got an equal portion. This process took so much time that the newly cooked food would be cold stale when everyone was eventually able to eat. The only thing that would not be divided equally was alcohol, since when she drank all sense of justice flew out the window along with whatever she managed the get her hands on and throw. To say she was a mean drunk would be an understatement. She was an outright dangerous drunk. This is something that sometimes would get her into trouble. Before joining this party she was the knight of Some Princess. Though the kingdom Some had lost its prestige in recent years it was still a prestigious role. There she acquired her strong sense of justice that would later plague her party. The job was good and paid well, but one day the unthinkable happened... The Kingdom was in an economic recession and she was let go from her role as knight. With heavy steps she left the castle she had called her home for most of her life. Sad huh? But how is her getting drunk related to her getting fired you might ask. Well it isn’t. That part comes later.
One night while drinking she started throwing things out of the window of her house. Among these things was a document making her eligible for severance pay. Having thrown out her only source of income she ended up as an adventurer to make Ends meet. When Ends finally met up with his half brother also called Ends she got paid a big sum of money and continued work as an adventurer. The story of how Ends lost contact with his family and got reunited is a story for another time though.
The final member of the party is a man called Stor. He is a very small man.
Anyway with everyone one properly introduced I guess it is time to get this journey started. Prepare to be whelmed, not under or over. Just whelmed on this average journey.
Wait you want to know more about Stor? I already wrote that he is a very small man, do you not have a clear image of what he looks like in your head already? Well, I suppose I can add some more details.
He had big blue eyes and a wide mouth always wearing a smile. In the middle of his face he had a big nose that only a mother could love. Which coincidently she did and at one point forcibly detached it using a knife and then proceeded to run around and yelling “got your nose!”. A doctor managed to surgically reattach Stor’s nose but left him with a huge scar going all the way around it. After this incident Stor got a restraining order against his mother which meant she couldn’t go within 100 meters of him. He wanted her to get jail time for disfiguring his face but court ruled against it. Now where ever Stor goes his mom stalks 100 meter behind him. Sometimes he can hear her yell to him “My precious!”.
Well, with everyone sufficiently introduced this time it’s time to start this journey. Prepare once again to be whelmed, neither under or over. Just whelmed on this very average journey.
