I'm Depressed (But Make It Funny)
I’m depressed
Which isn’t new
But I wanted to annoy you
I’m pretty sure you have the wrong number
Seriously?
You’re not Rachel?
5′10, looks like Shrek with hair?
Wouldn’t Shrek with hair just be Fiona?
Nah, Rachel’s not a princess
Not even a cursed one
She’s shrek
Interesting friendship you’ve got there
So why’re you depressed?
I don’t know if I should tell you, stranger
Oh come on
Please?
You could be a 60 year old pedo
I’m not
That’s what a 60 year old pedo would say
I’m not a 60 year old pedo
And anyways, you’re the one who texted me first
So maybe you’re the 60 year old pedo
...
Touché
Are you going to tell me?
Fiiiiiine
A year ago, today, I broke up with the love of my life bc he was a little shit
Damn
He must’ve sucked huh?
Yup
Hence the breakup
But somehow still the love of your life?
Sadly, yes
He must’ve been special then
I thought he was
Turns out, he was a shitty little fucker, but eh, who cares?
Not meeeeee
Yet you remember the exact day you two broke up?
Is that pathetic?
Of course not
I’m still hung up over my ex too
She was amazing
Then why’d you breakup?
I’m pretty sure I messed it up
She wouldn’t have broke up with me otherwise
Sucks to suck
HEY
I WAS NICE TO YOU ABOUT YOUR EX
THIS IS WHAT I GET?
OI
COME BACK
YOU’RE LEAVING ME ON DELIVERED?
BITCH
It's funny but I think it should be a bit longer