Bittersweet memories
Word count: 1.4K
Y/N
Past
The sound of light breathing and the feel of a calloused hand resting on your hip greet you as your eyes slowly flutter open. You stare at the ceiling for a moment, letting yourself fully wake before turning to him. Erwin smith-your Erwin smith. The love of your life. “Good morning my love.” He murmurs, a small smile tugging at his lips. You hum in response, offering him a sleepy smile. “How long have you been up?
Your fingers reach up to comb through his overgrown under cut. His eyes flutter shut as he leans into your touch. “Your hair’s getting a little long isn’t it?” He nods, opening his eyes to meet your gaze.
“I know…I’ll cut it tonight.” Erwin sits up, stretching in a slow, almost teasing motion. His arms reach above his head, and you watch as his back muscles pull and strain beneath his skin. Without thinking, you run your fingers down his spine, the warmth of his skin lingering on your fingertips.
He glances back at you with a smile before standing. The bed creaks as he moves. You whine in protest, the sound muffled by the pillow you bury your face into. “Can’t we stay in bed just a little longer?” your voice is soft, still heavy with the tiredness and the reluctance to face the world. You hear the gentle padding of footsteps, followed by the sound of running water filling the room. Erwin stays silent, but his prescence is palpable. You lift your head, eyes half-lidded, to catch a glimpse of him.
He stands by the shower, his hand hovering under the stream, testing the warmth of it. he holds it there for a moment before pulling his hand out and, shaking water off. As he turns back to you, you quickly tuck your face back into your pillow, feigning sleep. You just want this moment to last longer.
Mornings like these are rare. It’s not often that you were allowed the luxury of sleeping in-or the promise of hot water. Being able to take a shower at all feels like a gift. Normally you’d have to go down to the field, fill up a bucket with water, before bringing it back and boiling it over a fire just to take a warm bath.
People assume that being in the Survey Corps comes with perks- better rations, comfortable sleeping areas, nice allowances, anything to make up for the hell you go through beyond the walls. But the truth? You dont get any of that. There’s no glory, medals, or even thanks. Just grit. And moments like these? They’re fleeting.
The soft padding of feet grows louder before his side of the bed dips. He leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. You hum quietly. He murmurs into your hair. “We have to get ready love. I’ve got paperwork, and you’ve got scouts to train.”
“You may be needed Mr. commander Smith, but I’m not. There’s tons of other people who can train the scouts.” Erwin hums in aggreement. He slides his hands under your body-one beneath your knees, the other around your mid section. “Hold on.” You groan but wrap your arms around his neck, letting him lift you from the bed.
He turns slowly and walks back into the bathroom,the steam from the shower thickening the already cramped space. Erwin gently sets you on your feet so that he can undress. The cold bite of the wood sends a shiver racing up your spine. You stare at his relection in the mirror as he pulls off his tanktop, tossing it into the small laundry basket by the door. “We're late to breakfast,” he says casually, not turning to look at you. You've been with Erwin long enough to know-that's his way of politely telling you to hurry up. You don’t answer. Instead you wrap your arms around yourself, holding tight. “The shower’s just how you like it”
“……”
“…y/n…”
“I know. I just…” You take a deep breath, your arms tightening around yourself. “I just wish we didn’t have to go out there. Back to everything.” You lift your gaze, meeting his eyes in the mirror. He’s already watching you- expression soft, and full of understanding.
He steps towards you, slow but sure, and places his hands on your shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. “We’ll be right back here.” He says low, and certain. “When the day’s over- when we’ve made sure that others will be safe, that humanity will survive another day- we’ll be right back here. Just you and me.”
He lifts a hand to cup your chin, then leans down and presses a tender kiss on your cheek. “You promise? You won’t be cooped up in your office the entire night?” He smiles at that- small but real. “I promise, my love.”
You nod, your eyes softening as you let his words sink in. “I’ll hold you to that,” you whisper with a playful tone. He smiles, brushing his thumb across your cheek before stepping back. “Now, hurry up and get undressed so we can shower.”
You playfully roll your eyes. “yeah yeah.”
The dining hall buzzes with loud chatter and the clatter of silverware as soldiers dig into their breakfasts. You and Erwin step inside, weaving through the crowded space towards your usual table where Hange and levi are already seated.
As you approach, you spot Hange animatedly chattering away, while Levi stoically sips his tea, clearly tuning her out.. The moment you sit down, hange whirls towards you, her bright eyes. “Morning y/n!” She chirps with enthusiasm. “Good morning, Hange,” you reply offering her a small smile.
“You're late.” Levi states flatly, not bothering to look up from his cup. You shrug. “Wanted to sleep in a bit.” He grunts, taking another sip of tea. “Weird way to say you were fucking.” Erwin promptly chokes on his water, breaking into a fit of coughing as his face flushes bright red. You glance at him, the corner of your mouth twitching before you clear your throat. “We weren’t…doing that,” you say trying to sound casual. “We were actually sleeping in.” Levi snorts. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
You rolls your eyes playfully before digging into your breakfast. Hange, not missing a beat, turns to face Erwin. She begins to eagerly explain the discovery she made last night during her experiments with her latest “baby”- the titan the Survey Corps caught for her last month. Erwin raises and eyebrow but it’s Levi whos head snaps towards her at the mention of the late hour. “Last night?” Levi questions, his voice sharp. “You’re not supposed to be in the lab past nine Hange.” Hange smiles sheepishly. “Well I-” she starts to explain, but before she can finish her sentence, the sharp blade of the alarmn silences all conversation in an instant.
Levi is the first to react, his voice cutting htrough the tension. ”Another Breach.” He statess standing up with his usual effeciency, and pushing his chair back with a sharo motion. Erwin rises just behind him, his posture straighteninng as his commanding prescence returns. “No time to waste. Everyone get geared up. We leave as soon as possible.” E
The room is suddenly filled with hurried movement as every soldier in the room stands up and solutes. They rush out of the hall, heading straight for their ODM hear, and horses, preparing for the ineveitable fight.
You stand up, reaching for your cape drapped across the back of your chair. “I’ll get my squad ready,” you say, trying to sound calm despite the rising tension in your chest. Levi and hange nod, and walk past you. “Stay safe, Y/n. Dont make me come save your ass.”
A smirk tugs at your lips as you reply. “Wouldn’t dream of it. try not to get yourself killed out there levi.” He snorts clearly unfazed. “Yeah, right.” Hange waves a quick goodbye to you before rushing out of the hall to find her team. Before you can move to find your own squad Erwin grab yours hand to stop you. He looks at you, his eyes filled with concern. “I’ll see you when this is all over. Saty focused out there.”
“You too.” You give his hand a soft squeeze and run out of the hall stepping into the chaotic buzz of preparing for battle. As you push forward, you catch one more glimpse of Levi, his focus now entirely on hange as he walks after her. It’s a small moment, but you can see how concerned he is from the tension in his steps.
In the midst of it all, one thing is clear: this is a battle, not just for humanity’s survival, but for the people you love. For the promise that you’ll make it back home.
If only you knew back then that you would never make it back to the base…
