This, but forever

I’m… nervous. I haven’t been nervous on a first date in… months. Like so many months. But I also never spent a year talking to someone I never thought I’d meet. They had been visiting a friend in my dating distance range when we matched, with the intent of moving here, when we matched, but after a month of no talk of plans I kept him in my list as someone interesting to talk to. I got his social media info.. . well I asked for it, truthfully I had already looked him up when we first started talking but I thought it would be weird to just add him without asking? Maybe? Anyway, I got it and moved our conversations there. We have talked A LOT, not consistently but when we did talk it wasn’t ‘how’s your day’, ‘my favourite colour is blue’, ‘I like spaghetti’… it was philosophical, thought provoking, and… /thought provoking. I’ve admitted fantasies and beliefs to him that I’ve never told anyone with this firm belief that we-would-never-meet.

Last week he asked me if I was still using the app we connected on, and I admitted to adding it back onto my phone. Everything seemed casual, he sent some memes to the affect of offering my his condolences and when he asked I told him honestly that I had a date planned for next weekend when my kids would be with their father. We talked for a little while longer, I told him I wasn’t sure what to wear and asked his opinion, and he kinda shrugged me off saying ‘it didn’t matter’ and something about a guy wanting to get between my legs no matter what I had on. The conversation sort of died after that with me trying for a subject change, and I debated whether he was annoyed with me or just his usual self. We always just sort of talked about whatever when /he felt like it. I was rarely able to inspire the start of a conversation, but I could sometimes inspire the direction one took.

The next message he sent said, “So you’re busy Sunday? What about Saturday?”

Me- No plans, probably go to the gym.

Him- When do you go to the gym?

Me- Afternoon. I usually sleep in until brunch when I don’t have my kids. Crime of opportunity lol

Him- I’ll be in town Friday day night, you should let me take you for brunch.

Me- sounds like a plan (thumb up emoji)

Him- Sounds like a date. I’ll give you the time and place

Him- I’d prefer to pick you up, but I know you’d rather drive yourself

Him- I deal with it, this time.

Me- (Laughing face) deal with it? It’s not a big deal. You know why it makes me uncomfortable

Him- I do, and that’s while I’m allowing it

Me- (Laughing face) Now you’re allowing me?

Him- Glad you understand. I’ll message you the details soon.

A few hours later I got pinned map link to a place called Spenny’s about ten minutes from my house and a time. 10:30. I had sent him a couple of memes I thought were funny.. and one I thought was hot and bratty, but got no reply other than the fact that he had seen them and one laughing emoji reaction. I was already mentally rolling my eyes that I had fallen for it when he asked me how the weather had been out my way. I told him the truth, it had been mild but warming up these past days

Him- You should wear something so I can see your knew thigh tattoo

Me- I could just send you a picture

Him- I have resisted asking you for pictures this long, I’m not going to cave the day before I get to see you.

Him- Wear those thigh high socks you wore out on your shopping trip with your kids last weekend if it’s too cold

I was about to ask him how he knew, but I had posted a photo to my story that day because I felt cute

Me- Okay bossy I will. I got a new skirt that day I haven’t worn yet anyway

Me- So you’re actually coming out to the coast?

Him- I’m packing my bag right now

Me- Really?

Him- Don’t believe me?

Me- I have no reason to believe you’d lie to me about something that I could literally be sure of tomorrow when I’m eating breakfast alone

He sent me a photo of his suitcase, half full, with the boarding pass placed on top for a flight due to leave in six hours

Me- Six hours? And you aren’t done packing?

Him- when I have a task to accomplish I dedicated my time to finishing it in the time I have

I froze for a while, staring at that message, wondering if I was taking it the wrong way and decided I read reading into it too deeply.

Me- I usually pack the day before because I get distracted. That’s why im often late

Him- don’t be late tomorrow or I’ll make you pay

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as I replied that I would try my best. It’s not like I ever planned on being late, that’s just how it went. I’d be ready way too early, get and conscious and change several times or change my make up… then I was late. It was really just a two part problem, but this mild threat had me picking out my outfit early. I could afford the whole meal with my credit card, but I had only really budgeted for my own meal by taking off my favourite desserts and treats on the grocery shop this week. I’d buy his without complaint or remark, but if I couldn’t get any of my treats on the next shop either it was going to be a grumpy shark week this month.

The morning of he messaged me again.

Him- just leaving my hotel. I’ll be there in 45 minutes.

Me- okay, I’ll be the on in the boyfriend jacket and thigh long socks

Him- boyfriend jacket?

Me- like big, oversized

Him- you kept your ex-husbands coat?

Me- it didn’t belong to any ex

Him- then who’s is it

Me- it’s mine, and it just so happens to be my favourite.

Me- guy coats have the best pockets. I wont even need to bring a purse.

Him- alright

Me- aren’t you going to tell me what you’re wearing so I can pick you out?

Him- I didn’t need your outfit details to be able to spot you, Miss Minx

Me- well that’s because I use my social media for more than doom scrolling. You haven’t updated your photo in 3 years

Him- stalking my page are we?

Me- hardly. There’s like 4 posts. You have more going on on your company’s page

Him- we’ll talk about how you know about my company later

Him- I’ll be the 6ft3 guy waiting outside. You’ll know it’s me when I see you.

I hopped in the shower after that, determined to be on time, but still rolled up 2 minutes after 10:30. Like he knew what car I drove and had seen me enter the parking lot from the opposite side, his eyes were on me before I even saw him. It wasn’t even that he blended in with the small crowed outside the restaurant, I had just been too busy fussing with the skirt and making sure I hadn’t dropped anything to look ahead until he was already making his way towards me. He was mesmerizing. He looked like he lifted those big heavy weights for sport. He looked like he should be tossing cabers. He looked like he was a Viking in /this life, let alone his last life.

I was so distracted by his wide torso, his beard, his longish light brown hair, his dark piercing eyes, and that crooked little smile to realize I was walking in the path of the exit doors until he reached out to stop it from hitting me. I had flinched. I don’t know why my first thought when his arm went up quickly was that he had actually been threatening me to not be late, but I was embarrassed all the same when he stopped the door from smacking me in the face. The guy who had kicked it open as he attempted to get his stroller out apologized up and down, but I had to admit that he likely wouldn’t have seen me even if he hadn’t been occupied with his kid. The window would only have shown the top of my head and it’s always the eyes that catch people attention.

My date took the guys hand a pulled him in for a short bro hug thing, and then the guy went off to his car while my date’s eyes returned to me.

“Arlynn, it’s good to finally see you,” Kyrell began, that smile still lighting up his face despite the slight tilt that had formed across his brows.