Chapter 1
His Royal Highness Prince Zann of Cascadia
What do you do when you think you’ve made a mistake and you’re engaged to the wrong woman? And you’re a prince so the whole world knows about it and there’s no easy way out?
I should have known better than to get engaged, even if my family was pressuring me. I’d managed to avoid the marriage trap for years, earning me the title of Playboy Prince. But eventually my family insisted that I get married...and that’s when the trouble started.
One of the things Cascadians brag about is that we’re relaxed and easygoing--pure West Coast--and that includes the royals. We’re not as stuffy and protocol-obsessed as our British cousins. Ever since four of Queen Victoria’s children ditched their buttoned-up existence in England to create their own kingdoms in the Royal Dominion of Canada we’ve been known as the cool and unconventional branch of the royal tree. Our palaces are less grandiose and we spend a lot of time outdoors. We even advocate for work-life balance in the royal family!
You’d think all of that would extend to more freedom to marry when and who we please, especially for someone like me, the second son of the Crown Prince. The spare. I’m five notches down the line of succession and dropping rapidly with every baby my brother adds to his family. And I’m fine with that. I carry out my royal engagements as requested, show up when needed, and try to keep out of trouble the rest of the time, so I wasn’t too worried when my grandmother Queen Helena sent for me.
I knew from the moment I was ushered into the Jade Room that this was not going to be a sweet grandmotherly chat about upcoming events. The Queen does not summon people to her official receiving room for small talk and when I spied both the Queen and my father, I knew I was doomed. My mind raced, trying to think of what I might have done to upset them this time, but drew a surprising blank.
“Alexander,” the Queen said, using my full name--another sign that this was a big deal--“I’m sure you’re wondering why we’ve asked you here today.”
I bowed my head to her and to my father, then leaned in to kiss her cheek. She did not ask me to sit, so I remained standing while I replied, “I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“Your father and I are concerned about you.”
I managed to stifle a groan. This was not the first conversation she’d begun with that sentence and those talks rarely ended well for me.
“We think it’s time you settled down,” the Queen continued, without any of her usual conversational niceties. “I feel we’ve been very patient with you, but you’re almost thirty. Your brother has been married for years.”
By the gods, if she was going to compare me to Dorian, my perfect older brother, there was no way I was going to measure up. I itched to pace around the room but by force of will remained in place.
“You’ve had plenty of time to live the playboy life and sow your wild oats.” My father was even more blunt. “Not to mention the number of scandals you’ve brought on this family. It’s time to give it up and become a more useful member of this family.”
“What about Audrey?” the Queen asked, naming my current girlfriend. “She seems like a lovely young woman with poise and grace. As a model, she’s used to the media. She knows what it’s like to live in the public eye.”
“Why don’t you just propose to her and get it over with?” my father growled. “She’s the best of the lot so far and she hasn’t run away screaming yet.”
I couldn’t stand it any longer. I walked across the room and looked out the window, not even seeing the tall cedars outside, the parkland, or the mountains beyond.
I didn’t want to settle. I wanted to be wild and crazy and free. I wanted to travel without any press watching me, wanted to walk out of my house in jeans and slippers to get the freaking paper with my hair stuck up on all sides and not worry about what anyone thought of me.
But I couldn’t.
I could buy anything I wanted...but freedom.
And then there was Audrey--beautiful Audrey with her front-page-perfect smile and glossy blonde hair. I knew she loved me and wanted to marry me. We’d been dating for almost a year and she was getting impatient. Her hints about our future were none too subtle...kind of like this conversation.
“Is that a command?” I asked, shooting my father a look over my shoulder. “To propose to Audrey?”
“Call it a suggestion,” my father snapped, “and you’d damn well better take it. You’re not the baker’s boy. You’re a Strathearn and a prince. You’re fifth in line to the throne of Cascadia. You have a duty to this country and to your family and that duty won’t always be what you want to do.”
“So what are you saying?” I asked, and it came out far harsher than I intended.
“I’m telling you to get your act together and do the right thing,” my father growled.
His unspoken threat hung in the air. “Or else?” I prompted.
“You know what you need to do, Zann.”
“Why don’t you and Audrey take a vacation together?” the Queen interposed with grace. “Some place romantic. And discuss your future. You can be excused from your appointments for a few weeks.”
The last thing I wanted to do was to go off on holiday with Audrey--correct that--the last thing I wanted to do right now was get engaged. I wasn’t convinced Audrey was the one. But dammit, there wasn’t anyone else in my life at the moment and my grandmother did have a few good points. Audrey was well suited to royal life and wasn’t going to crack at the sight of a camera lens. She certainly looked the part of a princess and I was pretty sure it was a role she was eager to jump into.
“I’ll think about it,” was all I could force myself to say.
“That’s all I ask,” the Queen said. She smiled at me and stood up, and I knew I was dismissed. Folding me in a hug, she continued, “I just want you to be settled down and happy. That’s all.”
I gave my grandmother a weak smile, pointedly avoiding catching my father’s gaze as I bowed to them both before leaving the room.
Settled down and happy. I wasn’t sure that those two things were equal in my mind, but my father was right. I had a duty to my country and in the end, I would do the right thing.
I carried the ring around with me for weeks, waiting, trying to figure out what I really wanted to do. For me, there was no going back. I couldn’t just marry for a couple of years and get a divorce if it wasn’t working. It was much more complicated than that.
Do you love her? I kept asking myself, over and over.
Yes, was the answer. But--
And that’s where it always started to break down.
But I loved Ellie too. And Jackie. And I didn’t marry either one of them.
Then the harder questions followed.
Am I in love with Audrey? Am I as crazy about her as she is about me? Do I love her enough to stay married to her for the rest of my life? Will we still have something to talk about 10 years from now? Will her cute little requests become demands and then nags until I can’t stand her any more?
And always-- Is she playing a role with me? Has she decided that being a princess is the big role she really wants and she’s auditioning her ass off for it?
And my answer to these questions was always...I don’t know.
And really, who could I ask for advice? Most of my family agreed that Audrey was the best one I’d caught so far and were hoping I was done playing around. My dad? Yeah, there was a paragon of how to marry the right one and have a happy lasting marriage. He’d cheated on my mother almost from the day they were married until she finally gave up and divorced him, causing a huge scandal. Nope.
I wished--every day I wished--that my mother hadn’t been taken by cancer so young. She, of anyone, would know the stakes and the pressure in becoming royal and be able to give me solid, honest advice.
It got to be such a burden, carrying the ring around, trying to make up my mind. And Audrey was always around, calling and sending cute texts...convincing me that maybe it wasn’t perfect but it was good enough.
So it wasn’t even a romantic proposal. I could have planned out a special occasion for it, in some romantic spot at twilight with champagne and all that, but I didn’t. Audrey was in the kitchen and she’d just pulled a tray of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven and they smelled wonderful and homey. I thought about being a kid and how much I loved it when my mom used to bake for us, and I just started rambling about how maybe we should think about getting hitched and I stuck my hand in my pocket.
And then Audrey squealed and jumped up and down and screamed, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” before I even finished and then we kissed and I said, “Oh, yeah, here’s the ring.”
And we were engaged.
