Swallowed
The last couple of weeks have been odd. It was like having an out of body experience, everything seemed plastic and fake and every conversation felt scripted. It was like and endless loop. Eat,sleep,study and repeat.
I saw a shift in myself, like someone had taken my batteries out. With every poster with Becca's face on it, came that uneasy feeling. Like something is eating at you from the inside out.
I remember like it was yesterday, I, being woken up from a deep sleep on a Thursday night by our home phone. It was still dark out and i assumed it was around one to two AM. I heard my mom answer it with a click. Putting a stop to that annoying ring it made. All i heard was muffled talking, I couldn't make out what she was saying nor who she was speaking with. One word i did make out. Loud and clear.
"Rebbeca?"
My mom asked to whoever was on the other line. I was drowsy from sleep and didn't think much of it. Think. I wish I had been thinking. I wish i had done alot of thing actually. But i didn't.
My mom dragged her feet on the carpet, the smell of cigarette smoke getting closer and closer. She gently opened the door,poking her head out then letting herself in. Sitting down at the foot of the bed, shaking me gently to wake me up.
"Rina..."
She said, voice above a whisper. I sit up in my bed still disoriented. I look at my mother, oblivious to the words she is about to spill.
"Something happened to Rebbeca..."
She whispered. In my mind this was an attempt not to alarm me in any way, but it was hopeless. How can one be the bearer of bad news yet not cause absolute mayhem in their mind? She started at the floor for a moment, not making eye contact before she cleared her throat and said it bluntly.
"Her mom is very worried...she didn't come from school today..."
The thoughts in my head seemed so real, they were almost palpable. The hard mattress i slept on every night since i was eleven felt like it was going to give out under me. I shut down completely. My mind wasn't working correctly and my finger tips began to tingle.
"Donna called the police and they are doing an investigation...and she said if...anyone has any information, to give her a ring."
My mom explained, taking my limp tingly hand in hers, softly caressing it with her thumb. She saw the inner battle right behind my stoic gaze. I knew she did, a mother always knows. She let go of my hand and stood up from my bed.
"This won't be easy to stomach Rina...take your time..."
She said, walking out of my childhood bedroom, leaving the door cracked open just so a bit of light peaked trough. Just as she used to do when i was little so i would be able to sleep.
Everything happened so fast. Just like ripping of a bandaid. I didn't know if this made it better or just made it ten times worse to comprehend. I didn't cry, I didn't even say anything, I didn't move. Maybe I should have. Maybe I should have gotten my shoes on and ran around Salem screaming her name untill my lungs gave out. Or maybe i should have sobbed and sobbed untill i threw up. Maybe i should have done something, anything. I was a coward. A coward with my memory card wiped clean.
It stayed like that. Seeing her locker sitting untouched, teachers accidentally calling her name during attendance then stopping mid sentence. Her facebook page still being up with all her statuses and photos, the letter "R" carved on the wooden outdoor wooden table where she used to sit. Every single little detail that showed a trace of her existance made me desensitised.
And that was that. September 10th 2009, Rebbeca Myers was reported missing. Swallowed by the earth. Never to be seen again.
