Friend
My friend
The person I can tell everything
But also nothing
I can’t tell you anything
Not because of trust
i trust you
To much
And I love you
And I always will and I will alway be there for you
But I cant say that about myself
I’m struggling
something that can't come out of my mouth
And even if it does
it sounds like a joke
And you take it as a joke
And even if you didn't
what can you do to help
You can’t help me even if you tried
And in that sense I’m alone
And that aloneness has turned to loneliness
that has happened before
To many times before
Something that I don’t what to happen again
But it is
And I don’t know how to stop
I’ve done it before
The stop I know how
But now it’s like I’ve forgotten
And now this time around it’s gotten worse
So much worse I’ve started to bleed silently
Like how every night I cry silently
Not wanting anyone to hear
I try to silently tell you
but you think
This is apart of me
You think that this is just who I am
But its not
it’s not that you don’t notice my face when I don’t talk
But it’s the fact that
You don’t notice when I cry in front of you
But that must me my fault
I’ve gotten so good at pretending
That it's just me now
Even though it's not
Its just a mask that has been sewed into my skin
For far too long
And now I don’t know how to take it off.
