Chapter 1 The night before
WARNING ⚠️: this story contains strong language, steamy gay sex, viollence - consider yourselves warned. Also, you can let me know in the comment if you like it. :)
also this is my first story and english is not my mature language…
Enjoy <3
- Guwluse
(Sebastian's POV)
Sebastian didn't really want to be at this party.
But then again, what else was he going to do? Stay in his one-bedroom apartment and stare at the peeling wallpaper while his mom wasted away in a hospital bed he couldn't even afford to visit? That didn't sound much better than drinking too much and letting the night blur into an empty haze of laughter and cheap music. It wasn't like she could even hear him now, anyway.
His mom was dying. Cancer. They'd told her months ago, but Sebastian hadn't really cared to hear the details. He couldn't stomach the idea of her slipping away like this, but the truth was, their relationship had always been more complicated than most. She wasn't the loving, perfect mother you saw in movies. She was distant, distracted by her own life, lost in her sickness even before the cancer took hold. He'd learned to take care of himself a long time ago, and he'd been doing it for years, waiting for someone else to step in and make things better, but no one ever did.
The party, though, was a different kind of distraction. It was loud, fast, and easy. He could forget for a few hours that he was just a kid without a real future, without a family to fall back on.
Sebastian took another sip from his drink, letting the alcohol burn his throat. The buzz was already starting to settle in, giving him a bit of warmth in his chest that he could almost pretend made him feel better. He wasn't even sure what kind of drink this was, but he didn't care. He rolled his eyes as a group of kids nearby started shouting something about a stupid bet — more noise, more distractions. They didn't care, they never did.
But it was better than sitting in that empty apartment.
His eyes wandered across the crowded room, past the flashing lights and the disorienting music, to the familiar faces of his friends. Most of them were here because they had nothing better to do either, or maybe because their families didn't care enough to stop them.
One person caught his attention.
Mira.
She was sitting on the edge of the sofa, a cigarette in hand, looking bored like she always did. Her green hair shimmered under the flashing lights, making her look like she'd stepped out of some dystopian story. Her tattoos, mostly hidden beneath her loose clothing, peeked out around her neckline and arms, a visible rebellion against a world that had always seemed indifferent to her too.
Mira wasn't his girlfriend, but sometimes it felt like she was the closest thing to it. She was the only one who seemed to get him, without needing to ask too many questions or pretend things were okay. She was always a little bit on the edge, just like him. Maybe that was why, despite the fact that she was always surrounded by people, she and Sebastian somehow still gravitated toward each other in moments like this.
She caught his gaze and gave him a small smile, raising an eyebrow like she knew what he was thinking. She didn't even ask how he was doing. She didn't need to. They both knew the answer.
Sebastian rolled his eyes in return, trying to hide the flicker of frustration that came over him. He didn't care about anything anymore, so why did it all feel so goddamn heavy?
"Having fun?" Mira asked, her voice a low drawl as she leaned over, smoke curling from her lips. Her green hair glowed with the light, and her eyes sparkled in a way that made Sebastian want to roll his eyes harder. But even he couldn't deny she looked pretty in a way that most people didn't notice, especially to someone like him who had a different view of the world.
"Sure," he said flatly, taking another drink. "Having the time of my life." His sarcasm dripped off his words like poison. He could see her smirk but didn't care. He didn't need her pity.
She tilted her head, clearly seeing through his mask, but didn't press him. Mira had her own darkness, after all.
"Where's your head at?" she asked, her voice softer now, more genuine.
Sebastian leaned back, staring at the ceiling for a moment, his mind racing. He wanted to tell her everything, but he couldn't. She was the one person who saw the cracks in him, but she never really pushed to understand them.
"I don't know," he muttered. "Just... tired of all this. Tired of pretending it's okay. But..." He waved a hand around the room, "it's better than being alone."
She didn't respond right away, just took another drag from her cigarette. The music thumped in the background, people laughing, talking, dancing. But all Sebastian could feel was the weight of his mom's illness, the guilt that gnawed at him for not being by her side more, for not even knowing if she wanted him there.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, pulling him out of his thoughts. He glanced at the screen.
It was the hospital.
He stood up too quickly, the alcohol in his system making the room spin for a moment. Mira looked up from where she sat, her brow furrowing slightly at his sudden movement.
Without saying a word, he answered the call.
