Chapter 1
JUNA
At the beginning of this story, I should probably introduce myself. My name is Juna Miller, I'm 23 years old, and my zodiac sign is Pisces. That means I'm extremely chaotic, highly creative and... well, really extremely chaotic! As far as family goes, all that's left is my mother. And even she disappeared from my life years ago. Somehow, she vanished from the picture... probably along with husband number two. The only real family I have now is my best friend Becca and my boyfriend Linus. Linus and I have been together for four years—and the last time there was any bedroom action was two years ago. I'm not stupid; I know he's cheating on me. I've tried to leave him twice, but my self-esteem is so far down in the basement, you'd have to dig pretty deep to find it.
He's always told me I'm worthless... that no one but him would ever want me. And you know what? I believe him! I mean, just look at my track record with guys. I'm 23 and I've only ever been with one! Linus always says someone as fat as me should be grateful to have anyone at all. And you know what else? I believe that too. So maybe I am stupid... which, ironically, is something Becca would immediately agree with—at least when it comes to Linus. She hates the guy with a burning passion. She keeps telling me not to listen to that idiot. Curvy figures are totally back in style and I really need to work on my self-worth. Honestly, she'd love it if I just dumped him and never looked back. But let's be real: I'm terrified of being alone. Pathetic, right? I'm so scared of being alone that I let Linus insult me, humiliate me, and cheat on me—just so I don't have to be by myself.
The lack of sex is another issue. Thank God I have my BP—my battery-powered friend. Without it, I probably would've lost my mind by now and gone postal. Not that Linus is particularly adventurous—or even very good. Nine times out of ten I didn't even get close to an orgasm. So honestly, I don't really miss it.
In my free time, I don't just paint like a madwoman, I also write books. Really filthy books. Because: no action in real life, but plenty of action in my stories—and in my head. What else do you need to know about me? I volunteer at an animal shelter because I love animals and, well, I don't exactly get along with people all that well. Probably another side effect of the aforementioned lack of self-worth... On top of that, my published books actually bring in a decent chunk of money. Apparently, I'm not the only one with a dirty imagination!
High school was hell for me. And I mean literal hell. One day, a few of my oh-so-beloved classmates actually set me on fire. I was just walking down the hallway, heading to the cafeteria, when suddenly my freaking backpack was in flames! And it hadn't always been so bad. My best friend Malik Hanson was always by my side. We had tons of fun and got into all sorts of trouble—just like most high schoolers do in their early years. Malik's older brothers, Leander, Luke, and Alex, were a few grades above us, and once they started bullying me to boost their own "cool" factor, Malik suddenly wasn't interested in being my friend anymore. And neither was anyone else. Remember the burning backpack? That was just one entry on a very long list of humiliations, attacks, and scars I carry to this day.
But enough of the ancient history...
My life right now isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows either, so digging around in the past would only make me more depressed. I haven't seen those four idiotic Hanson brothers since high school—and if I ever do, guess who's going to test the strength of their bones with a baseball bat? Nope, not me! I wouldn't dare... Hellooo, self-esteem issues?! I'd probably just hand the bat to Becca. She knows every single story from back then, and when I told her everything, she cried for an hour—and then swore bloody revenge. And honestly? I wouldn't mess with her. Do you remember the old show Xena? Yep, that one... the lady in the leather mini skirt with the sword and that weird throwing thing, who roamed the land righting wrongs with her slightly dim-witted friend (armed with a stick) always by her side? Just to clarify: Becca is Xena. Looks and all. The dim-witted sidekick? Yep... that's totally me. And just like Xena was with Gabrielle, my dear best friend has a serious mama bear instinct when it comes to me. And as mentally weak as I am, I depend on her... Otherwise, I'd be all alone with Linus, and I probably would've ended it all by now.
That's enough about me. In this story, I'm going to tell you... nah, I don't want to spoil anything. Just brace yourselves. It won't always be easy to write about—and maybe not always easy to read either. I wish this story had a happy ending... But life doesn't come with happy endings. It's a tragedy, because it always ends with death. And since I'm still alive—along with everyone else involved in this story—there's no ending yet. Not yet.
I should probably wrap this up. Linus will be home from work in an hour and naturally, he expects a hot dinner waiting for him... God forbid the man should lift a finger himself! There's not much time left to cook something great, so it'll be something simple—and he won't like that. But maybe he'll finally realize that I'm not just his personal live-in servant, but an actual human being...
As you can see, I'm also a bit of a dreamer. A chaotic, creative dreamer. A textbook Pisces.
Welcome to my life!
