THE GOODBYE THE NEVER CAME
MAYA’S POV
I always knew Ryder Evans would never love me back.
Our love—if you could even call it that—was a funny thought to me anyway. The kind of joke the universe plays on you, letting you get just close enough to touch something you’ll never truly have.
But that didn’t stop me from loving him.
We were best friends. No. Correction. I was his best friend. His tutor. His next-door neighbor—the one person who had been there for him longer than anyone else. And that was precisely the problem.
I was always too close to be something more.
Ryder never had to chase me. I was always there, waiting in the wings while he chased after other girls—the ones who made him work for their attention, who weren’t just a given in his life.
From my bedroom window, I could see straight into his. That view had once been my favorite thing about living across the street. As kids, we’d spend hours talking across the small space between our houses, using walkie-talkies when we were younger, throwing crumpled notes through each other’s windows as we got older.
But at some point, the view had become my worst enemy.
I had lost count of how many nights I’d watched as Ryder brought a new girl home. The way he’d sneak them in through his window, thinking he was clever when, in reality, I had memorized his every move.
The way he’d laugh softly, saying something that made them blush, their silhouettes framed by the dim glow of his bedside lamp.
The way I’d sit in the darkness of my own room, telling myself I was fine, that this was normal, that I wasn’t the kind of girl Ryder Evans looked at like that.
And yet, every time he got himself into trouble—whether it was skipping class, covering for his terrible grades, or sneaking out past curfew—I was the one he came to.
“Maya, just this once,” he’d say, grinning in that way that made my heart betray me. “You’re my genius. My lifesaver. My best girl.”
Not his girlfriend. Not someone he would ever think twice about the next morning.
Just the safety net he knew would always be there.
And maybe that was my biggest mistake.
I sighed and shook my head.
I pressed my pen against the paper, my fingers trembling as I forced myself to write the final words.
"I just wanted to say it once. I love you, Ryder. I always have. But I think it’s time I finally let you go."
The moment the ink dried, I felt like I had carved the words into my own heart instead of the page. A quiet pain, raw and unseen, settled deep in my chest.
This wasn’t just another letter. It was the last one.
For years, I had written to him in secret, slipping the pieces of my heart in a form of words into his locker, leaving them in places he’d find them without ever knowing they were from me. Each time, I imagined what it would be like if he knew—if he turned to me instead of looking past me.
But he never did.
And now, he never would.
I let out a shaky breath and folded the letter, slipping it between the pages of my notebook. I had planned to leave it in his locker tomorrow—one last goodbye before I walked away.
Except, I knew I wasn’t strong enough to go through with it.
I had spent years waiting for a moment that would never come. It was time to stop waiting.
A sharp knock pulled me from my thoughts.
“Maya?” Jessica’s voice carried through the door, light and impatient. “Are you seriously still getting ready? We’re going to be late.”
I quickly shoved the notebook into my bag and stood, smoothing down my sweater. “Yeah, I’m coming.”
I caught my reflection in the mirror as I reached for the door. Long brown hair, soft waves curling at the ends. Hazel eyes, plain but warm. Not beautiful, not striking—just ordinary.
Jessica, on the other hand, was the kind of girl people noticed. The kind of girl Ryder noticed.
And that was why, despite everything, she was the one he had see and chosen.
________________________________________
The party was already in full swing when we arrived. Music thumped through the massive house, and groups of students filled every available space—talking, laughing, drinking. I had never really belonged at parties like this, but Jessica loved them, and Ryder… well, Ryder belonged anywhere he went.
“Maya!”
My breath caught at the sound of his voice. I turned just as Ryder appeared in front of me, his grin easy, effortless.
“You actually came, I thought I’d never see the day where you could also join us in these parties,” he said, throwing an arm around my shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world.
His touch sent a familiar shiver down my spine. I hated that even now, even knowing it didn’t mean anything, my heart still reacted.
“Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile. “Special occasion.”
He frowned slightly. “What’s the occasion?”
The occasion is that after tonight, I’m letting you go.
But I just shrugged. “Nothing. Just felt like it.”
His eyes flickered down to my bag, where my notebook was half-visible. Before I could stop him, he plucked it out.
“What’s this?”
My stomach lurched. “Nothing! Just—notes.”
He smirked. “Nerd.”
He flipped through the pages absently, and I could barely breathe.
The letter was still in there. Unsigned. Unread. If he saw it…
But before he could turn another page, Jessica’s voice rang out. “Ryder!”
His attention shifted instantly.
And just like that, I was forgotten.
I watched as he crossed the room, watched as Jessica ran into his arms, her laughter ringing through the air like a melody he never got tired of hearing.
And I realized, with a quiet, aching certainty, that I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
Because to say goodbye, he would have had to see me first.
And he never had.
