Hayal

“Al beni yanına, sevgilim”

Tears prickling in the corner of my eyes, waiting for the right moment to fall. My cheeks flushing red as i stifle my moan, my hand clutching tightly together on my chest.

The usual song by Anıl Emre Daldal -- no doubt would make me cry every time. I need to let it out sometime, those emotions - jealousy, loneliness , self-hatred. I have to not let that get to me, it hurt to bottling up and end up bursting to someone who known nothing about me. I hate hurting people despite how much I’ve gone through. I felt bad, I mean who wouldn’t right?

Everything is perfect until high school. I had a perfect life, a prefect who everyone enjoyed to talk with. The one who will smile the brightest in a room of dim light. A child full with passion and empathy, the one who will comfort and stay silent beside you until you’ve calmed down. But, everything turn downhill since then. My eye squeezing tightly as if trying to erase all the memories.

“That. Song. Like?”

The voice woke me as i jerk my head forward before tilting to the side, seeking for the voice instinctively. An endearing smile greeting me as if he’s been waiting for that moment to gaze into my eyes. My head leaning forward as i tilt my head to the side in confusion.

‘What is this? Dream?’-- that my first thought seeing him. My eyes scanning the room, just to realize it an empty classroom except for his presence. A familiar melody from the device shake me to the reality, it that song. I was quite distracted until then i realized i had the song played in my wiresless earphone.

It ‘M. by Anıl Emre Daldal’ .

His gaze softening as if waiting for my reply. I nodded, as response. He hum softly, leaning his body to the side as our shoulder pressing against each other. I could feel his warmth seeping right through me. He plucks my left wireless earphone out just to pluck into his right ears. He turn his head to find my gaze, the corner of his mouth curling upward and nod.

“Good. Me. Like”

My heartbeat quickened, as i could feel the heat on my cheeks. ′ This feels too real, it can’t be a dream right?′ My mind wandered to thousand of possibilities that could explain my situation now. I fidgeted my fingers as i scratch my nail on my knuckles when i am deep in thoughts. Suddenly, I felt a rough and calloused hand yet it felt warm wrapping mine, stopping me to scratch furthermore.

“No. Hurt. You”

As his brows furrowing, a frowning expression etched on his face. I nod as i stop, ’He’s weirdly weird, I wasn’t doing anything painful it just kind of my habit that i picked in high school.’,-- that’s what i thought. His thumbs gently caressing my knuckles as if trying to soothe out the pain. He tilts his head in concentration, gently pressing his thumb on the spot where i scratch. He continued this gesture for a moment, before stopping.

“Remember.Me”

As he bring my hand to cup his right cheeks, he tilts to the side a little causing the earphone to fall.His little gesture makes my pulse quickened.

‘What, why is he so affectionate? when we barely know each other’-- that’s what i thought again. But my thumb couldn’t resist to brushed his eyelid gently, as if my body known him. I feel the need to assure him. Suddenly, I jolted and my head turns around , just to realize i am in my room. I let out a long sigh, as i buried my face against my palms.