Present and Future

The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.

Beatrice's POV

Me and Antony, we have moved in our new house. Moving in didn't takes us too much time, but settling in.. I'm still not used to it. Everything is so bright and the house's location means so much to me, in the city but still close to a country side.

House itself is modern, combining timeless charm with elegance. Main floor is open layout with a formal dining area and kitchen with all the latest equipment - large marble island in the middle of the room. Living room and the kitchen are in big room, like I said open layout. Of course, there is a storage room and a door which leads in the garage and laundry room.

Upstairs are the bedrooms, four bedrooms with all the essentials. All have individual bathrooms and walk-in closets. Laundry room is there too.

Antony took the primary bedroom, said that I need the room with a balcony to myself, babies like to sleep in the fresh air.

My daughter's crib comes in to my room for now, maybe when she is a little older she gets her own room.

I'm seven months pregnant now - I feel like a whale, just eight weeks to go. Lucky me..

For the past month I have been volunteering in the group home - children in there are lonely and in need for a guidance for their journey in the future. Sometimes I'm just being there as a shoulder to cry and the other times I'm just a teacher, who's teaching them all the good stuff. Antony has been there too couple times - teaching boys, how to shave beard or how to tie a tie.

Today I'm just waiting, waiting when my best friend's flight is landing. Linda should be here any hour now. She is going to stay for unknown time and I couldn't be anymore happier. I haven't seen her two months and I miss her so much.

I have been laying on the couch. Linda has taken over my house, right now she is cooking and my brother is helping her. Kicking me out of the kitchen. Scrolling through TV channels, nothing good is coming from there.

"Linda, can I have a snack? I'm so hungry!" I yell to her.

She looks out of the wall corner and watches me suspiciously.

"Are you hungry or is Peach hungry?" She asks.

I know this game, what she is playing. If I say, I am hungry then I don't get anything. She moms me so much.

"Of course, the Peach is hungry. She is getting bigger and bigger every day and she demands food!" I tell her, laughingly.

She disappears behind the wall for a second and the emerges back. Gives me a bowl of baby carrots.

"Carrots? You got to be kidding me!" I tell her with scowl on my face.

"Baby Peach is getting baby carrots. So don't whine." She tells me.

I sigh and start to eat them with a disappointment.

I see Linda leaving and then telling my brother a sentence. I don't know if it is a joke or not, but my hormones have taken a toll already.

"If I would knew back then, how she is.. I wouldn't even come here." She tells to Antony. And they laugh, both of them. They have started to get along. I don't know if there is a passion behind it or they are just friends.

Tears prickle in the corner of my eyes. I stand up and leave, taking carrots with me. They don't even say anything, mostly because they don't know, that I left or they don't care.

Everything makes me cry. A happy things and sad things. Everything. I just want to get over it already, hold her in my arms, kiss her. I just want to meet with my Angel.

I'm back at my room, my sanctuary. I make my way towards to the bed, most comfy place - only it's hard to get up from that after. I lie on my bed and stroke my belly. I feel her kicking. She is feisty, like the doctors have been saying. Maybe she will keep me two legs on the ground.

I feel my eyelids closing and my baby stops kicking and we sleep a bit.

I'm sitting on a cold floor. Walls are covered with dust. An eerie voice sings a lullaby - what I have heard before, in the house, where they hold me. I sing with her:"Tili-tili-bom, close your eyes now, someone's walking outside the house and knocks on the door. Tili-tili-bom, the nightbirds are chirping. He is inside the house, to visit those who can't sleep. .

And I wake up. Same nightmare following me for months. This time there was no baby, just me and a faceless girl. I grab a glass of water, what is on my nightstand, I drink it empty.

I breathe out.

I stroke my belly. A pattern of mine, every time this nightmare haunts me.

I get up from the bed and seek the time. It stands on 19:38, I'm still in European time. I'm not getting use to AM's or PM's or a Fahrenheit. Too complicated for me.

I slept four hours so it means, I've missed a dinner. I walk down from upstairs and hear grunting noises. I stop for a second and listen closely. A quiet moan rips through living room. Is someone watching porn?

I take another step down and still more evident grunting noises. Two moans rip through air. I seize. I take another step and then I see them. Over my dining table, Linda under and Antony on her. Naked as in the day they were born.

I gasp.

They both look at me.

I close my eyes and then open them again and they are still over my dining table.

"Is this a joke?" I ask furiously surprised.

Like there is no other girls in this continent, but he has to take my best friend. Did they do this before?

I turn around and start to walk back up.

I hear steps.

Manly arm grabs my arm, I stop.

"B, please. I didn't want you to find out about this, like that. Please look at me." He pleads.

I turn around and he is butt naked.

"You really think I want to see my best friend and brother naked. Then think again. I don't want to see you, or you both. Now leave me alone!" I tell my brother and then point at Linda.

"If it helps, we are sorry.." Linda says.

I don't look at them, I walk back up.

I quietly say, "It doesn't!" and turn in to a corner and leave on their sight.

No other guys or no other women, but they have to find themselves. If I accept this, then I have to hear them fucking every night. Oh dear lord, help me.

I touch my baby's toy, what my dad got for her. A little bunny.

Knock-knock.

I roll my eyes.

Of course, one of them is here already.

"Come in." Me being polite.

Door opens and Linda walks in. Alone. Face flushed, hair messy, little sweat pearls on her forehead.

"I'm sorry. I truly am. I didn't want it to happen, but I.. him.. we have been so lonely and it's no excuse, but he makes me happy." She whispers. Audible for me.

"What about Marcus?" I ask. Indifferent.

"We broke up, when I came here the first time. He said, he couldn't look at me, knowing what happened with you." She says to me.

"I'm sorry, that I'm still ruining your life, your love life." I tell her.

She shakes her head.

"No! No you are not ruining it. I would choose you in every way, even if you wouldn't want me and Antony together. I would choose you, because no man comes between us! I promise!" She tells me.

I smile.

"I don't care. Go fuck all the time. I want you both to be happy, but can you maybe fuck next time in the room, not on my dining table." I tell her.

She laughs.

"Yeah! I love you!" She claims.

"I love you too!" I reply to her.

I see my brother on the doorway.

"So?" He asks.

Linda beams.

"She gave us a green light!" She squeals.

My brother takes two steps and is in front of Linda, lifts her on his shoulder and she squeals.

"Thanks sis!" He yells back at me. He struts out of my room and I only hear Linda's squeals.

I roll my eyes.

I close my bedroom door and make my way back to bed. Too much events for one day, maybe tomorrow is better.