To the Voice in My Head

To the Voice in My Head

I hate you!

That alone should be enough. But knowing you, it never is.

I can already hear you forming the word why—because you never just accept anything.

So I give in. Not because I'm weak. But because I want you to understand.

At first, I thought you were a friend. You were there when no one else stayed. You gave me comfort, ideas, a sense of normalcy. You listened. You understood. Sometimes you even became my voice when I had none left.

But since we... since I have been in this cell, something has changed. You've changed.

I don't need you anymore.

I don't want you anymore.

You don't give me strength anymore. You're the hole beneath my feet. You don't whisper hope. You whisper escape. You tell me to pick up the gun and call it freedom. I call it despair. I call it surrender.

I don't know when we lost each other. Maybe you never meant to help me. Maybe I was just too proud to see it.

But now I see clear. You’re not a friend. You're a sickness spoiling my thoughts.

And me? I want to live. Not for you. Not against you. Just without you.

I won't listen anymore. You will fade away. And you will be the one forgotten. You call me nothing, but now you're the worthless.

I'm done.

Claire