Is a Wonderful Way To Die

The sunset is always prettiest here. I used to come here all the time to pray. It was so peaceful being with god and his beautiful creations, but today was different I felt beyond at peace as if nothing could disturb me.

There were deer walking around near me. I didn’t move I was kneeling watching the orange sky slowly turn pink, feeling its warm rays against my face. As the sun hugged my face the deer came closer, two does came to lay down beside me. “maybe they think the sky is beautiful too” I thought to myself. A buck followed behind them. He didn’t lay down, he stood alert as if keeping watch.

I closed my eyes to fully enjoy the moment when I heard the buck exhale aggressively. I opened my eyes in a shock and when I looked at the buck he was looking beyond us with his muscles tense.

Two people came from around the bushes blocking off the road and other fields. A man and a woman, the woman had something familiar about her but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

As they approached the buck lowered his head and scraped his hooves against the grass charging towards the man leaving the woman alone.

She walked closer to the does and I, the closer she got the more familiar she looked

“You still come here James? I thought you moved on from this place”

I know that voice all too well,a ghost of my past life.

“I took a hiatus” I replied “But this field has always felt like home.”

Looking towards the bushes “I’m assuming you found someone new to share this place with?”

“I did” she smiled gently “But your friend scared him off”

I chuckled at that, the buck did seem like he was protecting me.

“I’ve missed you James, I would’ve thought you’d call after all this time. How have you been?”

Why did those words hurt my heart so sharply?

“I’ve been good” I said slowly “The world continues to spin, the sun continues to shine, the wind continues to blow, and I continue to wake up every morning. My God is good, and I’m grateful for all he’s blessed me with.”

“You always had a way with words James” she smiled like she did when we were kids and sat right next to me.

“Y’know” she continued “That wasn’t my boyfriend, first date actually and I have a feeling there won’t be a second one”

We chuckled together at that, just like we used to.

“I’ve missed you James”

“ I missed you too… for a while but uh I realized something. I had to completely let go of you to be happy again. To find peace. I never stopped thinking of you I always hoped you were doing well.”

“I’m doing better now that I’m here with you”

“Evelynn” I spoke softly “I’m married now.”

I could tell that hurt her.

“Though it is nice to know you’re doing well I have a wife, a beautiful, loving, funny, smart wife. She’s gonna be a doctor y’know” I said smiling to myself like a fool.

“That sounds like the kind of woman you deserve” she said smiling with tears filling her eyes. “I’m so happy for you James, I want to let you know you can text me I want to hear from you”

I looked at her for a moment and sighed softly. Then I closed my eyes. I closed them so hard every muscle in my face was tense.

When I opened them she was gone and so were the deer. I glanced at my surroundings and sighed softly.

At least the sun is still shining.