(79) Ti-Ti, a family of giant spiders

(79) Ti-Ti, a family of giant spiders .

It must have been the last time I went out camping that I brought back with me, unknowingly, a spider that changed my whole outlook on life. Already before I discovered him, my feelings for spiders were positive and respectful.

I always considered them to be hard workers who spin amazing webs to trap and feed on insects that are a nuisance to us.

As nice close-up colour pictures of spiders and their faces reveal what they really look like, I find it a bit scary. Imagine how it must feel to stand in front of a huge spider’s face and stare right into those two huge round black eyes circled with bristly hairs, and just above those two huge black eyes, a row of several distinct small round black eyes, also circled with bristly hairs.

Imagine that face mounted on a bristly structure of long legs and mandibles, standing inches away; being seen many more times than you see it. Imagine in such a presence, staring in its face closely, realizing this thing’s alive, it’s a life form, and it’s looking at you and it’s thinking. How would you feel staring at a vision of so what in total blackness, it filling your sight?

It’s a mystery life can be like that, that a life form could invoke such feelings of discomfort. I respect them for that. They are a good omen for me and are always welcome anywhere in the yard and even in the house.

The small ones are greatly appreciated; they’re the raisins in the bun. No matter what, I always prevented anybody from killing a spider in my sight.

It’s a sacrilegious ignorance. I swore an oath never to kill a spider on purpose. The ones I find in the house a bit too big for my comfort are brought with care outside to safety. One evening not long after my return, I saw a big one like the kind I usually bring outside.

It was on the floor in the bedroom, the one close to the living room. It stayed there without moving at all for a good while, like spiders are known to do at times, and then hurried under the bed.

I didn’t bother to bring it out, and I certainly don’t antagonize them either by poking at them with something to make them run. I did wonder, though, if it would seek my body warmth in bed that night.

This one was fat enough to feel cold. To my great surprise, it rushed into the kitchen the next morning while I was eating some toast at the table. It just stayed there without moving again.

There was something intense about it. I gently threw it instinctively a small crumb of bread. It ran to it, took it, and hurried quickly out of the kitchen. Sometimes it would show up for supper.

Supposing it was a he, I saw he really loved meat. Sometimes he didn’t show up at all. From time to time as I saw him, I noticed he grew bigger and bigger. As we got used to seeing more of each other and walking by each other occasionally, a trust instilled itself between us.

He seemed to understand I would never antagonize him and that any involuntary loud noise or sudden gesture was never a threat to him. I became accustomed to his never running away anymore at all in my presence.

Sometimes it seems just like yesterday when he was big enough to sleep snug in my shoe. I began discovering his personality about when he got to be the size of a puppy. He would roll up in a ball on my pants on the chair and sleep like that.

He could run rapidly after a ball and even chase me. By the time he was the size of a very large dog, we were friends, and he slept at my feet on the bed. Over the weeks, however, I had less and less room for my legs, and sometimes I’d push him off the bed by accident.

He was heavy. The big thump woke me each time. He’d look as if pleadingly at me, but I felt he was insulted. After a while, I had to be firm and say no! Each time.

The reason for this was because he was so big; one night I turned around in bed to come face-to-face with him sharing my pillow. I woke with a start jump! So after having to firmly say no! Each time, he took to sleeping under the bed instead. Spiders aren’t silent. Big ones like mine emit shudders.

It’s the best way to describe how it sounds

—and feels—to hear them.

After over a year since I first saw him after the camping trip, an incredible surprise awaited me in the living room one evening. The spider, which was by now as big as a table, was with another one like him, just as big but a few shades lighter.

I presumed it was a female. I bent to one knee, and they both came running to me, and we hugged in joy over this new friend. Spiders have uses I never suspected when they’re nearly as big as a car.

I had a prickly stool to sit on or a soft, plump pillow for my head when we’d all take a nap together on the living room carpet. Under my bed had long become too small for them, so they slept in my big closet I emptied out so they could use it.

One morning, stepping out of bed, I hadn’t noticed the female had come to sleep beside me on the floor, and I accidentally stepped on one of her legs. She was very hurt and ran around me furiously in pain. I was nearly crying and really didn’t know what to do. I tried speaking to her reassuringly, but she finally just ran into her closet.

I could see he was tending to her. She stayed in the closet till she healed. I’d often bring her little bits and pieces of meat; she loved it a lot too. She didn’t appear to hold a grudge.

The only real drama that occurred in my life with them had to do with the unexpected visit of my sister. I never told her about the spiders, and she had never come to my place before. I’ll bet if she knew, she’d wish she had never come at all. She was to spend the night in the guest bedroom.

The spiders were nowhere to be seen all evening, so I forgot to mention it at all. I didn’t want her to get a bad shock upon coming face-to-face or suddenly seeing either one of them.

A piercing scream ripped the silence at bedtime. It was my sister. Her screams had become guttural, frantic half shouts full of terror escaping from her mouth.

It sounded like she wasn’t breathing enough. The first thing I saw upon rushing in the room was a familiar yet tragic sight. The male spider, thinking I was in bed or maybe wanting to meet my sister, had playfully climbed on the bed and was sitting on her.

She was in such a horribly panicked state that her face was blue, and she kept making that ungodly sound over and over again, kicking at him full force with her legs. Before either one of them died, I grabbed a belt.

- “Shut up! You’ll die!”

I lashed at her with the belt.

-“Stop it! You’re going to hurt him!”

I also lashed at the spider so he’d leave.

Realizing I might kill both of them myself, I pulled her out of bed by the arm, and the spider ran, all wounded, to the closet. My sister sustained no physical injuries during the struggle. But she never overcame the shock.

For the rest of her life, at any unexpected moment, she could just jump up suddenly, violently push everything around her, and scream her head off uncontrollably until she faints. That does frighten people sometimes, you know.

As for the spider, I didn’t see him for a few days after that. I thought he was taking it easy, nursing his wounds. I could see from time to time his familiar dark shape deep in the closet. The female wasn’t far; she seemed to be grooming him. At this point they were so huge it was hard to tell.

I got closer, and to my absolute horror, I recoiled and ran away when I realized she was eating his head off. Many eyes were gone already, and so were bits and pieces of legs.

To put him out of his misery, they had mated so she could end his agony by eating him to death. For the following nights I avoided the room completely and took to sleeping on the couch.

I hadn’t seen the female either. I had so much difficulty in forgetting the horrible meal I saw take place. One night, I heard a series of small noises. In the reaches of the lamp’s light, I saw hundreds of tiny spiders running. Little babies! I ran to the room.

She was lifeless and covered, completely covered by countless tiny spider offspring eating her. She was dead. By the time her whole body and parts were consumed, I noticed all the tiny spiders had disappeared. The place felt empty.

The next morning, to my greatest surprise, a single light brown spider walks right into the kitchen. She’s the only one who stayed. She’s as big as a quarter, and her name is Ti-Ti. My neighbour had their boy babysat at my place.

He was playing loudly with another neighbour’s daughter. I went to check on them. They were jumping all over the top bunk! Ti-ti could be snuggled in the sheets or in the pillow; they might have killed her

-Stop! I shouted, You will kill her!

They both stopped and stared at me. ---Kill who? Who are we going to kill?

- Ti-ti, the big spider!

The children looked alarmed and moved off the bed.

- She’s as big as my hand, and she loves to rest in bed during the day. She goes out at night and comes back. "

She wasn’t squashed in the top bunk finally. She was resting under the bed. The children were fascinated by all aspects of her. They were happy never to see her and always proceeded cautiously in the room and house, not to step on her or get too close.

The children asked all they could about her. Each time they see me, they ask how Ti-ti is doing. They love to hear about her mom and dad, how huge they were. I told them they had simply died of old age.

They always laugh at how scared my sister got on that fateful visit, although I didn’t tell them how badly. I told them she just rushed out of the room, and the spider had the reflex to hide under the bed right away.

The children often tell me something so sweet, so touching. It’s when out of the blue they say:

- “We love Ti-ti; we love her a lot.”

I love her too; she’s very kind.

The kids surprised me one day by saying they wished God was like Ti-ti; how wonderful that would be. Ti-ti became for them a symbol of unconditional love and goodness. Thank you, Ti-ti