Chapter 1
I looked around the library. I looked at the different titles in the books. The different covers. The dark oak shelves they stood on. I tried to focus on anything else but the feeling in my chest. I thought about how uncomfortable the chairs were, how I had a book wide open in front of me on the cold table, how the sun shined through the big windows and how it lit up the room. My heart tightened and tears threatened to fall down my cheeks. All I could think of was how I lost my light. The one person who lit me up and without them, I was like an empty dark room. I served no purpose in life nor to anyone in it.
And though it hurt me more than anything else, it was meant to happen. I had no future with her. I knew it was selfish to make her stay, but I didn’t know if I could even survive without her. I wanted to stay with her for as long as I could, and I knew she’d let me. I was like poison to her celestial garden. I’d be the one to make her roses rot instead of blooming. I’d be the one who turns the sunshine into a cold winter breeze. Deep down, we both knew the truth, I had to be brave and let her go.
I imagined it in my mind.
Her body swaying to the cheesy music in the background, my hands on her hips and hers on my shoulders. She was the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. And I bet she’d look even more stunning in the blue prom dress she had used hours to find. She’d look up at me, with those gorgeous brown eyes. The same brown ones I fell in love with, the ones I could stare into for hours. And soon enough, the same eyes would fill with tears.
All because of me.
But it was better for her this way. This way I’d never be able to hurt her again. This way she’d be able to love someone in a way that I never could.
The sun would be able to shine at its full level, without shining through the creaks of the moon that stood in front of it, hiding the sun’s beauty from everyone else.
