Behold Mistress

Della Rae's {pov}

The cobblestone street glistened under the flickering lanterns, casting long shadows across the narrow path, my armor weighing heavier with each step. The scent of damp stone and burning oil filled the night air, but my thoughts drowned it all—memories of drills, blood, and commands from today's occupied my mind. My way back to that Fanghole seems endless where standard warriors of Velmoria sleep, train, and await his highness’s command, now that I walk on the rusty ground with burden of another horrible view I witness today. This might have become normal thing for me but the gore is still the same it never slips away.

My steps halted in front of the shop that sells breads. The aroma of breads circle me, seducing me to devour them but hell, only if I have a single penny in my pants pocket. Only few years ago I would have make ugly face to the ordinary loaf of bread but not when you learn how precious a good bread is when you barely got something to eat. That reminds me of time- shit! how could I forget I was running late. I snap my head back towards the way I was walking before I got distracted by the the sweet aroma of bread. I don't have time to waste I increase my pace, my feet crushing the stones laying on the old cobblestone alley under my worn out shoes I wore beneath my armor.

It probably didn't consume my more the 20 minutes before I reached the standard warrior's dorm I live at. I knew as the matter of fact that I almost make it on time but the scene before me did me no good when I saw the dinner was already distributed in all of the companions. I slum down my shoulder in defeat. I knew it was useless now to ask for dinner, the men are wild in here, the food is never enough to satisfy even my appetite while I am the most cylinder figure in here, so you often get to see bullying fight in here over food. "The day can't get any worse, can it?".

.Wonder who look after military? Trust me no one, at least for the most part. They do look after us but only to make sure no one dare to cross any line drew by the law of Velmoria. Life been shitty lately but I can't exactly remember when was the last time it was perfect. It seemed like just another night I've to survive with nothing in my stomach and so much in mind. Only a sleep can fix my fragmented state of mind as it always somehow does. I was exhausted by all this now. The amount of tiredness I can't explai- suddenly a blew hit me from behind on my way back to my drill hall sending me crushing into the floor forwards.

Shouldn't question god about the things you don't wanted to be answered. The day can indeed get worse. Took me couple of minutes coming back to my senses when I realize the blew wasn't to me but it was a man thrown at me by someone else who got into fight with each other over dinner and believe me, living among men only taught me how fucking men love this fighting shit over nothing! I had to use my whole strength to get up from the floor.

This was enough of me. I already had a fucking worse day as usual and I wasn't taking this bullshit anymore. My finger curled inward, forming a fist. Before I could realized, I was the part of the dust-up, strangling the very man who pushed the other man onto me with other couple of men joining me for play in the tussle. Men love nothing more then this after a shitty day at duty. And I had to take it out on someone.

"Nova!" A voice echo in the Fanghole's hallway freezing everyone on their spot. I didn't had to look in its direction to see where this voice came from. I knew it. I unclutched my claw from that bastard's collar leaving him fall flat on the floor backward with a bleeding nose. I am never usually this driven but something from today's drill snap inside me while it shouldn't, I can't afford any fuckups. I pushed myself up, steady on my feet. With a subtle lift of my chin, I turn to face the speaker.

"Follow me- unless you want to find out what happens if you don't". Knowing resistance was futile, so I quietly fell in steps behind Evan until we were in his chamber.

Once inside I broke, "Evan, that wasn't m-" he cut me off "Save it Nova, you knew better then to be the part of it". By now I've learned how to handle Evan when he is not in your favor. "Its... what happened today, you know.... the cries of those". Evan narrowed his eyes at me, well that's how he looks all the time. "Is that is why you lost it over there? You were made for this Nova". Nova... right that's my name- Nova Thalia, to this world. And I was made for this but not to do this, this is not who I am. It's what they made of me.

Evan Dusk was the commander of military pack. For three years, I've served under his command- a man who tolerates no nonsense and whose wrath was something no one dared to provoke. But Evan always saw something in me, even when I was nothing. It was him- only him- who shaped me into what I am today. He gave me the strength to place my foot on the very first rung of my climb. "It's slips, next time it won't". One more thing I’ve learned about Evan by now, is that you have to choose your words very carefully because even sometime the right choice of words can provoke his ire.

Who am I? what brings me here? What was my agenda? Only three questions and the answers to them keep me agitated. After I was discharge by Evan I step back into my fanghole dorm that I share with 2 more men. Nightmare right? Stuck with two nasty men who won't leave you alone until they get on your every single nerve. But now that they weren't here. I had to get rid of my facade before they are back. I unscrew my armor, its chain's rattling fill the air around me before I took it off and set it aside where it meant to be. I unwound the tight cloth from around my chest, letting myself breathe for a moment. It hadn't been a problem when there was barely anything to hide, but now with the unwanted growth was becoming harder to keep up the disguise. Each day, it grew more difficult to pass as a man. My thin frame do me a favor to make me appear as a less muscular then those others.

I was feeling stinky due to regular drilling this week. When you are disguised as a man- living among men, you don't get the privilege to bath daily. Though those who get, don't bath daily either but just because I look like a man doesn't mean I had to smell like one. I wore a over size robe and make my way to the stream near our fanghole, there I can slip into water without having a worry of being caught.

Once inside I remove my robe and relax behind a rock just as my eyelid falls shut the memory from today cross my mind like movie tape. The cries of those for mercy when none of us care. I stood among troopers doing nothing but watching dirt being slam on their faces. My fist curl in a ball inside the stream on my lap my eyes shut with head hung low while my bangs cover my eyes. Their faces rewind before my eyes over and over again as gushes of guilt consume my soul as if I could do something.

"Don't take away my daughter!"

"Have mercy on us oh- sire"

"Our daughter~ oh lord"

"Oh~ Imperial highness we are left with nothing"

Again and again they yarned for mecy, but their cries were forgotten in his paradise. I didn't realize when did the thoughts of today clouded my mind and I slipped into the stream. The world vanished in a rush of cold and silence. I didn’t fight it. I didn’t move. Because in that instant, I wasn’t in the stream anymore—I was back in the lake, back in the moment I first escaped. The weight on my chest, the water in my lungs, the helplessness—I felt it all again, so vividly it stole the present from me. My body froze, paralyzed by memory. My eyes flutter open slowly looking at the grey surface of water tiny million bubble floating from my nose, my short hair dance in slow motion around my neck. "Della! Della give us your hand, I will come get you. Move your feet Della. Keep moving!"

keep moving? right.

Their faint voices snap me out of my nightmare. again. I blink the cloud out of my eyes, my legs and arms move on it own but all it take a single pull up when I was sitting back in the stream on my hips. I wasn't drowning... I was just- fuck this. I cover up myself with the men's bathrobe and walk back to my torture house. While I walk through the hall, I use a spare towel to dry my short hair, they were convenient this way both for disguise and to manage with what I had to face day to day.

While I walk down the fanghole's hallway to my dorm the floor under my bare feet creaks silently not drawing attention. My steps halted when I heard Evan talking with his dummy right hand Baron, in his chamber while his lantern's light flicker though thin sheets of sliding door. "They need us tomorrow" they? Who? "But for what his highness be needing extra men?" Baron asked. His highness? which one are they talking about. My breath caught in my lungs. "You know Baron, you don't bother you pea size brain for that. Just prepare our first hand unit for King Azrael"

Azrael?

Ah, that angel of death is it? perfect. So its tomorrow. But for the draft I had to be the member of the first hand unit. I had to calm my racing heart who knew I was going to climb my second rung of climb anytime sooner. I can't afford any slip ups. I had been training for this for 3 years now and who knows how many further. I can't put everything at stake. Not yet. Before I could get caught eavesdropping I retreat back to my dorm. Just as I was about to push open the door someone open it from the inside making me to loose my balance and hop like a flamingo. By Azrael's fangs!

"Keep it up, and you will be the strange smell in attic"