Death of a party

I have always been in the business of killing people…usually dramatically, tragically, horrifically…you know what I’m saying. It’s not like I have some kind of sadistic habit of reigning Death down upon my poor hapless victims. It’s just what I do. As a writer, it’s my job to captivate my readers, and often the best way to keep a story interesting, is to kill your darlings, so I do. Naturally, when I received the Email I thought to be from a publisher, I was excited and agreed to attend the meeting immediately. I went to the pub early as punctuality is part of my nature, and I sat down and waited. I ordered a rum and coke and pulled out my journal to make notes on an idea I had for my next short story while I waited.

A man walked up and sat on the bar stool next to me, he ordered a Whiskey sour and sat quietly beside me drinking his drink, I paid no mind to him at first. Then I began to notice him looking at my book, reading what I was writing. Having no inhibitions I looked up at him and said, “Hey. What’s up man?” Probably in a tone of accusation…I hate it when people read my work before it’s finished. “What are you writing?” He asked as he took another sip of his drink. “Not that it’s any of your business; I’m working on a short story for my book,” I replied assertively. “What’s it called?” He asked. This is by far the question I HATE the most when people ask. It clearly states to me that this person is not a writer, or an artist, not even close. How am I supposed to know what’s it called? These things develop throughout the process of writing, you can’t just slap a name on something that you have no idea where it is going to yet. It’s absurd.

Before I could answer though, he spoke for me. “Okay, never mind, that’s the wrong question, I get it. I should ask, what is it about?” I just looked blankly at him, it was as if he read my mind. “Well…that’s kind of hard to explain,” I said, losing my arrogant tone and feeling a little respect towards the stranger. “Try me.” He said. “Uhh…okay. Well, I’m taking a bunch of random people and throwing them into situations where there are most likely to die, and breaking them down emotionally and mentally.” I said cautiously, even as it came out I knew most people would look at me like a crazy person. I checked my watch and looked over towards the door, the publisher was dangerously close to being late. “Waiting for someone?” The man asked. I turned back to look at him, astounded by his audacity. “Yes actually, if you must know, I am,” I said.

He didn’t reply, just stared into his drink for a moment. I looked at him, he was average height, pretty well built, in shape. His hair was tied back in a ponytail and he was wearing a pair of black Carhartt overalls with a gray hoodie over top. The logo on the front was the Montreal Canadians hockey team. “Alright so let’s just get down to business then since I like your shitty attitude. I sent you that Email, but it has nothing to do with publishing your book. I have a job I need you to do.” The stranger said. Confused, I looked at him and said, “What?” I just didn’t know what else to say. “I’ll be blunt. I am Death…but don’t call me by that name. You can call me Damon, I want to go on a vacation, but I need someone to run the show in Hell for a bit. After careful consideration, I have chosen you. One week, paid, and I will publish your book too…this is not a joke. So, what do you think?” I just burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it, this guy was nuts. He didn’t crack a smile, he just kept staring at me.

“I don’t see what’s so funny…you go around telling people you’re in the business of killing people, well here’s your ultimate chance to do some serious background research.” The man called ‘Death’ explained. I couldn’t take him seriously, I had met some strange folks in my day, but this guy was stretching it a little far. “Okay, let’s say for shits and giggles that you are Death. How would you be able to prove it?” I asked sarcastically.

Death smiled and looked over at the bar tender, then he snapped his fingers and they burst into flames, I was not convinced. “Parlour trick…anyone could do that with a little applied science,” I said non-chalantly, though I was a little impressed. “Okay, let’s try it on a larger scale.” Death said, he checked to make sure the bartender wasn’t looking and snapped his fingers again. This time 6 bottles behind the bar burst into flames. I tried to pretend to not be impressed, but I was clearly shocked. Some other patrons noticed the flaming bottles and gasped. By the time the bartender turned around the fires were out, not a trace of what had happened. Everyone who had seen it was looking around very confused. Death was grinning, I looked at him till trying to look unimpressed. “Okay, that was cool, but I don’t see how that has anything to do with Death…that’s more of a Satan thing no? Playing with fire and all that?” I said.

Death sighed, “Okay…I don’t do this for fun you know…but, since you are so demanding.” He said as he was getting up off the chair. He turned back to me and whispered, “Just don’t freak out okay, it’ll be fine.” I raised an eyebrow and watched skeptically as he walked over towards a table of people drinking. Death reached out his hand and placed one finger on the shoulder of the nearest patron, a girl in her twenties. She dropped to the floor as Death casually walked to the bathroom, unnoticed by anyone else. The other people at the table all began freaking out, yelling for help and trying to wake the girl. Someone put their fingers to her neck to check her pulse, she had none and they started yelling for someone to call 911. I was in shock, I couldn’t move and all I could think of was ‘Holy Shit, he really is Death.’

As I thought this I got up to check for myself whether or not she was really dead, I checked for a pulse, there was nothing. Someone shoved me out of the way and began CPR in an attempt to revive her, then Death walked back out of the bathroom casually and squatted down beside me. He reached out and put one finger on the girl's forehead, and she gasped. Opening her eyes she looked up at Death and screamed, “I saw you! I saw you take me away!” She yelled. Everyone looked up at Death, myself included. Death just stood up and walked back over to his bar stool and sat down. “Are you okay?” I asked the girl, she nodded but looked on the verge of a mental breakdown. An ambulance arrived shortly after, the girl and her companions left, leaving me in the quiet bar with Death and some other shocked patrons.

“So? Believe me yet?” Death asked me, I wished I could deny it, but I saw it for myself. “Okay. So you are Death…That’s only a little bit terrifying.” I said as I ordered another rum and coke. “Ya well, it gets a little tiring having to come up with new and exciting ways to kill people and maintain the over-population of this planet, so I try to be creative. But as you can see, I can also give life back. This is a dangerous thing, and I haven’t done that in a very long time.” Death said. “What do you mean?” I asked curiously. “Well, you saw how she acted when she came back. She had seen me, and I told her not to worry. I told her she would be back before she knew what had happened, like a dream. But she still saw me. The real me, not the me you are looking at right now, I’m in human form so as not to cause mass hysteria. But anyways, I haven’t got all day, lots of arrangements to be made and whatnot. Do you want the gig or not?” Death asked as he finished his drink and ordered another whiskey sour. I replied before I even thought about it…this is the part that has always troubled me. I was so excited to take this job, no hesitation. “Hell yes.” I said enthusiastically, “When do I start?” I asked.

Death reached into his pocket and pulled out an old leather wallet, he pulled some money out and slapped it on the bar. Then he downed his whiskey sour in one shot. He turned to me and said, “Right now. You have one week, don’t fuck it up, and don’t go crazy. You’ve got to kill 151,600 people every day. That’s 6,316 people an hour. You don’t have to kill them all one by one, just get it done.” Death said as he stood up and walked to the door. “Wait!” I yelled, “Hold on I have a couple questions!” I was in shock, I needed to know a little more. Death sighed and told me to come outside with him for a cigarette. “Okay, what are your questions, make it quick I wanna get out of here.” He said. “Well, where do I go? Is there like, an office somewhere? In Hell? Or something?” I asked Death laughed a whole hearted laugh. “No, there’s no office, you can work from where ever you like, but you do need to travel. You are immortal now, all you need to do is to think about where you want to go, close your eyes and when you open them you will be there. You cannot die, so if you decide you want to crash a plane or something, you can get on a plane. You need to touch the people you’re about to kill. You can also decide whether they die immediately or if it happens in a few hours or days, whatever, but you NEED to touch them.” Death explained as he took out an Iron Maiden zippo lighter and flicked a smoke into his mouth expertly.

“What about sleep? I have to sleep, how am I supposed to kill people while I’m asleep?” I asked, to which Death replied, “Ain’t no rest for the wicked kid. Besides, you’re Immortal, you don’t need to eat or sleep for a week. Anything else?” He asked impatiently. “How do I get a hold of you if something goes wrong?” I asked. “Nothing will go wrong, don’t worry, it’s standard procedure. You kill whoever you want, however you want, but don’t exceed the daily limits. And don’t be in the same place all the time, you need to keep moving, people get suspicious easily. Oh ya…you can become invisible now too, just don’t do it too often, bad for the skin and all. At the worst, if for whatever reason all Hell breaks loose and you can’t handle it, call this number. It’s my cell, I never answer it, so don’t expect much luck…plus, I’m on vacation. The last guy I got to do this job, didn’t go to well, but I expect much better results from you, so, have fun.” Death said, then he walked away and disappeared.

The bartender came out for a cigarette and joined me under the patio roof. “Who uh…Who were you talking to there buddy?” He asked me. I took a drag of the cigarette Death had given me and looked at the bartender. “Just an old friend.” I answered. “Maybe you’ve had enough to drink buddy, you should pay your bill and head home.” He replied. I didn’t understand, “I’ve had 2 rum and Cokes, what are you talking about.” I said firmly. “Uh well, there was no one out here with you…And there was no one in there with you either.” He said. I looked at him, stunned and a little pissed at Death for making me look like an idiot. “Ya? Is that so…You’ve got a little something stuck on your shirt.” I said as I reached out and put my hand on the bartenders shoulder. His face went white and he crumpled to the concrete floor. “1 down, 151,599 more to go.” I said as I flicked my cigarette over my shoulder and disappeared.

It got addictive, and fast. The stories I was able to write after a couple days with all of Deaths powers, by the time I had only one day left I had devised a plan to avoid Death. I was Immortal, I had the power to kill anyone just by touching them, and I could travel the world. I was pretty sure, though I hadn’t tried it yet, that I could probably travel through time too. My plan was simple, keep moving. I assumed that no matter what as long as stayed away from him, Death wouldn’t be able to take away these powers, and even if he could, I wasn’t going to just roll over and give up. So, when the day came, I bought a ticket to Japan and packed what I thought I might need…No black robes and scythe or anything like that, just cargo shorts and a few T-shirts, sunglasses, a book, and a few empty journals to write my adventures in.

As I was waiting in line, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around knowing who I would see, and sure enough, there he was. Death, but he didn’t look like death. He looked like any average guy, the same guy I had met at the bar only a week before. “Listen,” He said calm and quietly. “We need to talk.” Then he put his hand on my shoulder and steered me away from the line. I knew I had been caught, there was no use denying it, this was Death we were talking about. “So, here’s the thing…You’re a smart guy Wolfgang, but not smart enough to outrun me. I’m Death, I’m everywhere man, seriously. However, you have done an excellent job this week I must say, probably the best sub I have ever had…And for whatever reason, I like you, I think you’ve got a real talent for this.” Death said carefully, choosing his words. “Thanks?” I replied.

“Which is why, I have decided to give you something like a full-time job. Sort of-“ He continued, seeing my face light up on the full-time job part however, he quickly added, “Don’t get too excited, you’re days of killing people for me are over. Those powers are already gone, you wouldn’t be able to kill like that again if you tried so don’t. But, you will remain Immortal, for now at least.” He finished. “Wait what? You’re letting me stay Immortal? Just like that?” I asked curiously, I was shocked, but also disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to kill people anymore…well, not in the way I had been for a week. “What’s the catch?” I asked, there had to more to the story. “Ha! Yes, of course, there is a catch. You are going to work for me, and you’re job will be to turn people from their belief in ‘Divine Providence’ and get off the path of the ‘righteous’ You will be the bad influence, the terrible ideas and dares. The mercenary, if you catch my drift. I need you, to make people defy ‘God’ and live in sinful ways…you know, send the souls to my brother Hades so we can keep the fires burning downstairs…know what I’m saying?” Death asked. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Death, was giving me another job, to go around the world and party, basically, corrupting humanity. I could do that, no problem.

“What’s the pay?” I asked. “Really, you’re Immortal. That’s the pay, you cannot die and you get to keep the ability to travel where you so choose by thinking about it, I think that’s a pretty good deal personally.” Death said flatly. “Really? That’s it? And if I decide I don’t want to do it?” I asked but Death saw right through that, “Ya, as if you would say no…but just incase, if you decide you don’t want the gig, then you board this plane and get in the air…exactly 56 minutes into the flight, one of the engines is going to stop functioning and the fuel will dump, the plane will crash in the Atlantic ocean, and you will never be seen again.”

Out of the options, the plane wasn’t looking so good. “So what’ll it be then Doctor?” Death asked me. “Doctor? How do you know about that…only my Mom used to call me that, when I was a kid.” I asked, distracted by the random use of my old childhood nickname. “Come on, I’m Death, I know a lot…So?” He asked again, less patiently. “Well, obviously I’ll be taking the job, when do I start?” I asked. “Right now.” He said, then he disappeared and I was left with the realization that again, I had appeared to everyone else in the crowded airport, to have been having a conversation entirely with myself. I looked around and saw security cautiously approaching me. “Aw..damn it all to Hell…” I muttered under my breath, and a voice replied, startling me a little, “That’s the idea.”

I found quickly that I still had a lot of powers that I had when I was acting as Death, the only thing I couldn’t do anymore was kill at will. But I could still disappear, I could still travel in an instant, I couldn’t die. There was other things I could do too, like the fire thing and read minds. So I got to work immediately. Security removed me from the Airport, I wished I could kill them, but of course I had to let them walk away. “Okay…where do I start now?” I asked myself, then a voice that sounded a lot like Death’s replied, “Church.” I smiled, “Fantastic.”

The closest Church was a couple blocks away, I thought about it and closed my eyes, when I opened them I was standing in front of the huge, ancient church. The Westminster Abbey, I figured go big or go home was a good option. It was the middle of morning mass, perfect timing to go in a cause a scene. I wondered how much ability I had that Death had left intact. The week before I had been able to call into exsistence random weapons or move things with my mind, so I figured I would try for a big of theatrics and tried to manifest a simple 9mm handgun, Smith & Wesson. I closed my eyes and put my hands in my pockets, and I felt the cold steel on my palm. Smiling, I opened my eyes again and walked up the front steps and into the church. The preacher was in the middle of a long arduous speech that half the auidience wasn’t listening to anymore, but I found a way to quickly draw their attention.

I stood near the back, took out the gun and shot the priest. My aim was a little off, I had to shoot him twice to shut him up and by the time the second round was shot the entire church was screaming and hiding behind the pews. A few tried to get out a side door but I locked it with my powers before they could get out, then I sealed all the exits and slowly walked up to the front of the alter, climbed the stairs and stood where the priest had been standing. I waited for everyone to be quiet and obsereved the crowd, looking for the ones amoung it who had remained most calm, attentively watching me, not cowering and crying. These would be the people to convince, these ones would listen and believe what I had to say, and I would prove what I could do for them.

As I stood waiting for silence, Death popped up at the back of the room, shaking his head. He spoke into my mind from where he stood, “I told you, you’re not allowed to kill anyone Wolf...” He said. “Just give me a minute here, relax. Consider it one less for you to worry about today, anyways I’m trying to make a point” I said out loud. The crown turned to see who I was talking to but Death was gone, or at least invisible. “Don’t make me regret this kid.” He said into my head again, “I won’t… Just wait.”

“Everyone, calm down, relax. I’m not going to shoot anyone else if I don’t have to. Listen to me.” I waited for their full attention to be focused on me, not the dead priest on the floor. “Don’t worry about him, he’ll be fine…you’ll see when I’m done.” I began as I looked out at the faces, tear stained and blotchy, clearly scared and confused. “Death, I might need help at the end, just to bring him back, I promise, I know what I am doing…” I said quietly, not wanting everyone to hear me talking to no one. Then I heard a whistle from the left of the stage, out of sight stood Death with a pissed off look on his face. “I swear to God Wolfgang, you better not fuck this up.” He said. I nodded and smiled.

“Okay, so here’s the deal. First off, all of you here, are here for a reason…let’s see, how many people are here, because…they have lost a loved one and are seeking solice in God to let them feel that this someone you’ve lost is safe, or no longer in pain, or something along those lines?” I asked. No one moved. “Come on now, raise your hands if this applies to you, relax, I’m not going to shoot you. See…” I said and stepped back to put the gun on the floor, far enough away from me that I wouldn’t be likely to grab it, but closed enough to them, that one of the audience could grab it if they had the courage to do it. “There, no more gun. Now, Answer the question, raise your hands if you are here to mourn a lost loved one?”

Tentatively, several members of the audience raised shaky hands. “Okay, so let’s start there. Has God ever brought you peace about your loss? Has he ever done anything, REALLY, to make you feel any better about what has happened to you and your family? Go ahead and speak, you are all safe here, open up. I have something to show all of you about this “GOD” person, for you see. I have the ability, to bring them back.” I explained kindly. Death however was yelling up a storm in my head, “What the FUCK do you think you are doing, you’re fucking this up Wolf big time and I-“ He said. “SHUT-UP for a minute, just wait. Ya I’ll need your help but you will understand, just chill!” I yelled back, out loud, sending the listeners hiding again in their pews. “I’m sorry, I have a partner with me here today, you won’t be able to see him, but all you need to know is I came here today to show you that God, has been taking you all for fools. There is a higher power yes, that decides whether you live today and die tomorrow. And you are looking at him.” I explained. From the corner of my eye I saw Death smack his hand to his head and look down, he got dragged into this yes, but it would all be worth it after.

“Keep your hands raised, and let me see…You, you in the blue dress, come on up here.” Very tentatively, the woman slowly walked over to the alter and stopped in front of me. “Very good, don’t worry sweet heart, I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to show you what can be done, through the will of God, but God never does. If I told you, you could speak to whoever you lost, and you don’t have to tell me who it was, I will know, If you could speak to them once more, would you want to? “ I asked. “Of course!” She sobbed, “Of course, but he’s gone and he’ll never come back.” She said, beginning to cry. I looked over at Death, he had manifested the corpse of the girls husband and was explained what was happening, in some kind of devious way, he had to make sure this didn’t go wrong. Death seemed to catch on to what I was up to, He turned the man invisible, and told him to wait. “Okay, I know who you want to see, are you ready to see him? “ I asked, “YES! Yes please, God help me I miss him so much.” She continued crying. “Well, he is here.” I said, she stopped crying immediately and looked up at me, I winked and said “But there are rules, this is just a visit okay. He needs to go back, that’s how it works. But you wanted to talk to him, so here he is. Holding on to the man, Death walked him over, the two completely invisible. “I hope you know what you’re doing, this is breaking a lot of rules.” He whispered, “Just tell me when.” He added.

“Okay, now you need to understand, this has absolutely NOTHING to do with God, this is what God has been keeping from you, taking from you.” I said. “Do something dramatic, like, put your hands on the floor and look like your attempting something hard.” Death suggested, so I did as I was told, I closed my eyes for a moment, then I heard the crowd gasp. The girl gasped, she was shocked, unaware of what to do, she was appalled, then happy, then scared. But in the end, she knew it really was him. “You have 8 hours, that’s it, then he will simply disappear. You cannot tell everyone you know, this isn’t a carnival game. This is real and it was done, not by God, but by me.