My life

"It was perceived to be very foggy this morning, or at least, it seemed that way to Alexi, she wondered why the fuck foggy outside, and why the fuck did it come out of no where while the air around her felt very thick and heavy; she thought maybe it was foggy maybe she miss saw the sky she was fucking seeing thing then even the air was pressing down on her chest, she could barely breathe, and she started panicking calling out for help. It felt like someone was taking her breath away, like she was being actively choked. At the moment, she really thought she was being choked by someone during this time, but she was alone. Her long brunette hair with blonde highlights drooped down in front of her face as lend over holding her legs At the same time, she stared out the window in her room alone, trying to calm herself down, she felt like she was going to past out well she wished shw would pass out, this way she could get some sleep but every time she closes her eyes ti her nightnore would wake her back up. Alexi was very exhausted, she had slept and barely eaten anything in like a week, some time as pashed, and no one still came to her aid, and that added to the weight she was already feeling. No one cared about her, no one wanted her well. It seemed that way. Then the fog came rolling back in. Still, deep down, she knew there was no fog outside—there couldn’t be. The sky was clear and bright outside that day, and it was the perfect weather for everyone. No one was outside, which is what should have given it away. When she saw her nieces and nephews playing outside, she started questioning herself, and her mind grew cloudy. The pain she felt early in her chest came back again, so tired to calm her thoughts, but then Bad thoughts crept up in her mind, bad, why though she should enjoy this weather, "foggy" is the perfect hide and seek weather. What she missed was that everyone was playing outside, but to her, no one was outside. Then Alexi thought she saw something, but she didn't know, so the weight she felt wasn’t in the air; it was all inside her. At first, she thought it had to be the weather, because she didn't notice it until later, when the sunset, that could have been, and it was her, and not the weather, but she wasn’t ready deal with those kinds of thoughts right now, so she buried them deep like her other thoughts subconsciously. The cloud in her mind was so heavy that she thought it was foggy outside, that at this moment, the cause that made everything around her blurry was her tears, which she had noticed. She kept going to that day when she lost her baby, she was also scared that she would lose her current unborn child like she did with her child last pregnancy or what happened with the child she had with her ex and her ex took off her daughter while was sleeping, threaten her if she ever came looking the child sge would regret but what is regreted was believing in Alessandro she did try to getting her mind off of it which made her feel very guildy, she thought it was like she was forgetting the child, to her it was cruel the baby who didn't to see the world .her family told her justorget about that it you didn't even get it hold it. She already knew though how can she not know that she never even got to hold the child, she was already bonded with them, she was even coming up with name's, she had thought this one time maybe god, did this help her get away from her toxic ex, not only did she lose her unborn child, but she lost her child because of him and her ex took her daughter away that he her forced her to have, he convinced to have the child and she was too scared to say no even though, he raped her and made keep the pregnancy she asked the doctor not called her if was pregnant she would go online and check her messages she also told tbe doctor if she was pregnant she wanted to schedule a abortion and asked the nurse and doctor not to tell anyone yet they did they called her phone and when her ex answered the phone they told him the news he was happy but alexi wasn't she just broke with him that she have otherwise, kids when she felt happy around her other kids she kept replaying the scene in her mind, of the day when she lost her baby she thought to herself what if she had ever went to go help her sister, she knew that rayne really needed her help with a job for her client or else she would have asked. Still, Alexi thought it was selfish of her to ask, knowing she was pregnant and could Rayne, her heart, go see Rayne. Though Rayne told him. Still, they could do it over the phone, though Rayne did want to see her, she loved Alexi's taste in fashion, she also missed secretly working with Alexi, and Rayne was stuck because they had a 100% unique design and a weird, ugly fabric.But they wanted her to make it into a cute dress and home decor, then maybe she would still be pregnant the but trwas wad she an had ectopic pregnancy, but she wanted someone to blame, in moment she yelled at rayne saying its all your fault alexi also said to rayne if you hadded asked for my help my baby would still be here you killed my baby, rayne didn't saying anything back to her in that moment she knew alexi was grieving so she walked away and she wished she could change,