Chapter 1
Trigger warnings include physical and emotional abuse, grief over the loss of a parent, PTSD, cursing, alcohol use, attempted sexual assault, and sexual content.
ISABEL
Tucker: That better be book porn in your hands right now, or I’m gonna be hurt.
I sucked in a gasp, nearly dropping my book. My head whipped to check over my shoulder before I gawked back down at my phone. How did he...?
Me: Ummm…what?
Tucker: Book porn, Izzy. Work with me here. There better be some hot AF book boyfriend doing unspeakable shit in your brain since you ditched us.
Me: OMG, Tucker!
Tucker: What?
I pressed a hand over my face, certain it was flaming red at the moment. Not that it would matter if I could hide it. Tucker knew exactly what he was doing. I could just picture the smirk on his face.
Me: You suck. I do not read book porn. Except I totally did. But Tucker didn’t need to know that. There were some things hot best friends did not need to know.
Tucker: Liar. Annie told.
My eyes widened. Annie wouldn’t. No way would my sister spill that to Tucker. To Jet, maybe, but… “Ugh…” I ducked my head to my knees with a groan.
Me: Stop being a jerk and let me read.
Tucker: No more denial?! Wow. I was kidding.
Me: Good. So was I.
Tucker: Now, who’s the liar...
Me: Tucker…
Tucker: Fine. Get back to your book porn.
I groaned and dropped my phone to my lap...just in time for another text to buzz against my legs.
Tucker: Seriously, though…text if you need me.
Crap. I sent him a thumbs up before he could say anything else and then ducked my head with the urge to cry.
Why did he have to end with that line? As irritating as they were, his texts had been the distraction I’d been needing all afternoon, but now, my thoughts were right back to where they’d been before.
On my dad.
And how he wasn’t here.
How no one was even talking about it.
How it was driving me crazy.
Tucker probably suspected. I’d bet that’s why he’d texted before, but still. It was ridiculous.
It had only been three months since we’d lost my dad, yet here we all were, at the Pierce family’s beach house, on New Year’s Eve, and no one was saying a thing about the strange void we all had to be feeling.
I’d had to escape.
The peace and seclusion of the beachfront had been perfect for me to sift through my thoughts. A warm front had even blown through south Texas that weekend, and a comfortable, high-seventies ocean wind swept back my hair as it pulled roughly at the pages of my book. I closed it, giving up on any chance of focus on that book boyfriend Tucker had joked about.
“That one any good?”
I jumped at my sister’s voice. “I’m not sure,” I replied as Annie joined me on the steps that led down to the sandy stretch of private beach.
Annie tilted her head in understanding as a sad silence passed between us.
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” I asked, sensing my twin’s need to talk.
Annie nodded, her long, dark hair pulled back from her identical features into a ponytail. “He should be here.”
All I could do was swallow, trying to ignore the way my throat wanted to clench. I refused to cry. Not with everyone around. The guys could walk up at any time. Or God forbid, one of the parents.
Seeing the school counselor was enough. I didn’t need a reason for more therapy.
It was just that nothing had felt normal since our dad had died. I gave a mental scoff. Hell, even before then. It was the second that ugly tumor had decided to lodge itself in my father’s brain that everything changed. All of the headaches...the signs we’d missed until it was too late… When the doctors had found it last summer, his best prognosis had been three months.
Three months with my dad and Patrick Donovan was gone.
Turning sideways for a moment, I squinted my eyes from the sun to watch my family and our friends back at the beach house. The moms were easy to spot, all chatting on the back porch with wine coolers in hand as the younger siblings ran around in a game of tag.
The men were manning the grill. Which meant drinking beer and talking about whatever game had been on. Jet and Tucker were hovering nearby, joining in long enough to steal a few swigs of their dads’ beers, both knowing they couldn’t get away with their own bottle with their moms there.
On the surface, it all looked the same, but it felt different. Maybe if it wasn’t New Year’s Eve and Annie and I weren’t about to turn seventeen at the stroke of midnight? Well, not exactly the stroke of midnight, but close enough. Either way, this birthday was going to be hard.
I was about to look away when Jet caught my gaze from across the yard. He gave me a wink, forcing the hint of a smirk to touch my lips.
Jet had to be the easiest going person I’d ever met, one of those total ‘go with the flow’ people everyone loved to be around. His presence was lightening, no matter what mood you were in. He had laughing, ocean blue eyes that popped against his sun-darkened, olive skin and jet black hair. So many girls that came through our small, tourist town swooned over his darker Greek features, but he’d only had eyes for Annie for years.
Soul mates, the two had claimed. They’d been dating since seventh grade, and even though they were still only juniors, I knew it was true. Despite everything our group had been through this year, there was no one better for my sister than Jet. The two just…balanced each other.
He nudged Tucker in the arm, and the guys grabbed a couple of plates before heading over. They sunk down on the lower steps, and I grabbed a grilled hot dog from one of their plates before my two best friends scarfed them all down. Annie shook her head, declining.
“So, what’s up?” Tucker asked as we dug into the food.
Even from his lower seat, I had to look up to meet his gaze. Tucker was ridiculously tall, tanned, and muscled with an amazing athlete’s build. He’d been the star of the varsity basketball team since our freshman year. Throw in lifeguard, personable charm, and confident swagger, and you had Breaker Ridge High’s current ladies’ man and most popular guy. It didn’t all come without some arrogance, but I’d known the friend beneath it all since basically forever. Some flaws were worth looking past.
I quirked a half-smile up at him. “Just thinking.”
Tucker nodded, giving me a look that said he knew there was more. He got it. He’d been there with me, for me, since it all started. Probably as much as Jet had been there for Annie. He’d seriously stepped up in the best friend department.
But before my thoughts could go any deeper, he mouthed book porn, and immediately, I felt myself flush scarlet again.
I glanced away from Tucker’s vicious grin, just in time for us to watch Annie stiffen as Jet placed a hand on her thigh. He stilled for a moment but then gave her leg a comforting squeeze before letting go.
Crap. I hid a frown behind my hotdog. I’d been meaning to check with Annie on that. Things had been off with those two lately. Last summer, Jet would’ve pulled Annie into his lap and had his mouth locked with hers the second he sat down. Tucker shot me a concerned look, and I lifted a shoulder in response.
Annie and I were usually inseparable, somehow similar and polar opposite at the same time; we thrived through the connection of our twin bond. But Annie’s relationship with Jet wasn’t something I could relate to as well, considering my lack of a dating history. It was a harder topic to share, but that was no excuse. I’d have to do better.
“Fo,” Tucker said through a mouthful of food, trying to break the tension, “Pardy donigh?”
***
“Uhh...aren’t Corey’s parties usually down at the beachfront?” I gaped out the window of Tucker’s truck as we pulled up to what felt like an endless mass of cars. Was our entire high school here tonight?
“Usually,” Tucker replied. “But lucky for us, his dad’s got some new gold digger on his arm that talked him into some big New Year’s getaway.”
I frowned. “That sucks for Corey.”
Tucker caught my gaze in the rearview mirror. “Trust me; he’s glad his dad’s gone. You know Corey and his brother live for throwing parties, and the ones at the main house are always epic. Way better than the ones at the beachfront. Right?” He looked between the front and back seats to Annie and Jet.
Jet nodded. “I’ll bet half the cars here aren’t even Breaker Ridge kids.”
My eyes widened. Half? “Who else would be here?”
“The usual.” Jet shrugged from the front seat. “Summer Ridge. Even Outer Ridge shows when it’s big enough.”
“Oh,” I nodded, now trying to swallow the golf ball sized lump in my throat. I’d known Corey’s parties were infamous but for the whole Ridge area to show up?
“Shhh. You’re gonna scare Izzy off before we can get her inside.” Tucker grinned, and I flushed, catching him still watching me in the rearview. I looked out the window again as we rolled past what was basically a beachfront mansion. My eyes widened. I’d always thought Tucker’s family’s beach house was big, but Corey’s was at least twice the size.
A split double staircase led up to an ornate set of doors. Multiple windows sprawled down both sides of the long structure with balconies framing three sets of french doors from the second story, which was crazy to me since it wasn’t even the side that faced the ocean. A few structures stood off to the side, near the back, which based on stories from the guys, I knew had to be the guest house, its garage, and the “boat house” near the dock where Corey’s family stored all of their gear for the ocean.
I was still gaping when Tucker finally found a decent spot to park and killed the engine.
“Y’all ready, ladies?” Jet turned to grin back at Annie and I. Tucker’s eyes found mine again in the rearview, and I nodded, fighting back nerves as I reached for the door handle.
“Just point me to the dancing,” I replied.
“And me to the alcohol.” Annie threw her door open from the other side. Jet scrambled out from the front to help before she could close it.
The sound of bass from cranked up speakers flooded around us, mixed with shrieks and cheers of the party as I slid from the lifted Chevy. I glanced towards the house as Tucker reached over to shut my door.
“You doing okay?” he asked.
“I’m great. Why?” I forced a smile.
Tucker rolled his eyes. “You could at least try to sell me something.”
“Like you’d buy it anyway?” Annie snapped as she and Jet came around the back of the truck. “You know she’s not big on parties.”
“I don’t hate parties.” I frowned. “I just prefer them…less big, but I’ll be fine.” Tucker gave me another look, like he was trying to decide if I meant it. On any other night, he’d probably be right to question it, but tonight, there’d be nothing worse than sitting at home. I raised my chin, setting my jaw with a touch of determination and defiance if he tried to ask again.
Several seconds passed before Tucker finally gave an understanding nod. “Alright; come on, then; dancing and alcohol this way,” he said, making me want to sag in relief that he was letting it drop. He turned to weave through the cars.
“Perfect.” Annie darted after him. “I’m dying for a beer.”
I exchanged a look with Jet at that remark but then hurried to follow.
**Author’s Note**
I’ve submitted the first two chapters today to get started, and a new chapter is scheduled to be submitted every Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday until the book is complete.
I hope you enjoy.
