Saturday, September 17, 2016
Saturday, September 17, 2016
Bri--
On August twenty-seventh or early August twenty-eighth in the morning, I had begun a really sweet and loving relationship with a guy I met on a game called Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dawn of a New Era, which is just an online card game of the infamous series called Yu-Gi-Oh! From the 1990s. It’s an anime, or Japanese cartoon, and I found it to be really cool.
Me and DHeroRedMagma, his username on the game but his real name is Dante Burnett, had started off really strong. He lives in Quebec, Canada and is very sweet and loving and the kindest guy I know. He forgave me when I feel like I didn’t deserve it. But, he would keep asking me to show off my big breasts (my mom thinks that I’m a double D or something). I was uncomfortable with it since my past relationships, that’s all that guys wanted from me. I told him no, but he pleaded with me.
Eventually, a week later, I finally agreed to it. He told me that one more round of Town of Salem, yet another multiplayer game that I had come across, and then he needed to get off. After the round, I kept my promise. Since I will always keep my promises. However, I avoided looking at the camera while he fapped away…
I’m crying because I miss him sooo much. He means everything to me. I begun to cry for the reason that I started to reread our conversations and wished to the Gods above that I didn’t have a mild bipolar disorder, depression and anger management problems.
After the session, and about a few hours later, I decided to tell him, “I feel like ever since I had told you how large my boobs were, that is all you’ve ever cared about... As if you only said ‘I love you’ to me to get me to show off my boobs… | I really don’t want it to be true, but my heart can’t take the pain that a guy could only love me for my big boobs…” Which was true.
Five days went by without contacting him and I was like, enough is enough. So I messaged him and we started talking again.
Then we finally just became strangers after that. I still care about him deeply. For the last three days, I’ve done nothing but cry at night after my mom goes to bed and before my dad goes to work. And I usually don’t cry this much over a guy. I’ll shed a few tears and then get over it. However, I’ve shed sooo many tears after our breakup.
Four days ago, I had signed up me and dbacks2001 (called Harpies For Life) as a tag team. And fate intervened with me and dbacks against DHero and banka, the most annoyingly frustrating person in the entire game.
It wasn’t until then that it dawned on me. That me and DHero are meant to be together. After all, why else have me and him against each other in the first round.
So I dropped out. I didn’t want to face him at all in round one. dbacks chose a new partner, Lelouch (another annoying person on the game), for the tournament and I was happy about that. I feel guilty that me and him went into so much hard work for nothing in the end.
Right now, my left breast is killing me and I don’t know why! It sucks when my breast starts randomly getting a cramp.
Anyways, so I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t duel against someone that my heart yearns for. I feel like a really shitty and most disgusted person on earth.
I really don’t deserve to be living at this point, though. If I can’t have DHero, then I am not meant for this world.
And ShadowTheHedgehog, a friend of mine on YGOPro and on Discord, confessed his love for me. It is ironic that someone who’s nickname is “Shadow” is in love with me. Since one of my OCs (Original Characters) is named “Ashley Marie Rose” and her and Shadow are my OTP.
I said “yes” to Shadow’s confession. Even though I’m miserable doesn’t mean that anyone else has to be.
I also cried again. I think I’ve stopped crying for now, but I doubt that it’ll be the last time.
I swear that my irrational, bipolar part of my brain is messing with me again and I’m trying real hard to keep it reigned in this time. Because I was given another chance with DHero. And he really means everything to me.
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So, it’s late in the evening (about 9:42 PM when I’m typing this up) because I’m very angry and pissed off with my sister and my oldest niece, Shyanne. The reason that I am angry and pissed off (I know they’re synonyms) because Tiffiny made me stop helping Shyanne clear off one side of the table of the Game of Life. Since my mom got so drunk from the previous game called Shots and Latters. It wasn’t MY damn fault that she puked on the bathroom floor!
I was kindly helping my niece clean up the game. After they FORCED ME to go the fuck home to retrieve a fucking hair clip for my mom when my DAD could have gone and got it himself! But, nooo. My mom had to keep him wrapped around her little fucking finger and shit!
And people wonder why I get pissed off so much because of my shit ass mother and father!
Next they decide to play a board game, I’m not helping them at all. After all, why should I help them when they didn’t even want my damn help.
I really can’t wait until DHero takes me away from my shitty family. I don’t belong here with them, but with him. He’s the one who loves me a lot and cares about my well and mental being. He’s the only one who actually listens to me whenever I need him most. Just like I’ll listen to him whenever he needs me.
