Is It One Sided?

Naina's POV

It's been around 1 hr since I am in my bed trying to sleep.

But sleep is faraway from my eyes.

I'm in such a messed up situation that I can't share it with anybody. Nor even with my best friend.

Huh! Best friend...he is the reason of my confused state.

I got up from my bed and went to the balcony.

Hopefully the view of the city from here will me help me calm my nerves.

I thought

But I guess I was wrong.

The sky full of twinkling stars ,the lake reflecting the moonlight and the not so busy streets took me to that day.

The day since when I did not get a sound sleep.

The day since when I can't concentrate on my studies or anything.

The day which made me happy and sad at the same time.

The day which still makes me feel the same.

The day I realised I love him. I love my best friend.

The day I realised I like staying with him not because he is my best friend but because of something more.

The day I realised I like talking to him not because he is my best friend but because I feel something for him.

The day I realised he will never feel the same way about me cause I am just a best friend to him.

The day since when there is a constant war going on between my heart and mind.

Everytime my mind try reasoning to my heart, it won't listen.

I tried moving on from these complicated feelings but I can't.

My heart says he has certain feelings for me.

But my mind denies it.

He takes care of me.

He is concerned about me.

He scolds me for being irresponsible about my health.

All these make me think that he might reciprocate my feelings.

But at the same time I know he does all of these cause I am his best friend.

He is concerned about his best friend's well being.

Not because he feels the same way as me.

Yet after knowing all these I am still stuck here.

Stuck on him.

Why?

I don't have an answer.

Everytime I get confused and ask myself

Is it one sided?

All I get is silence in response.

My heart wants to say no whereas my mind wants to say yes.

Shrugging off my thoughts I came back to my bed and laid down.

With these troubling thoughts I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

But I could hear my heart whispering

I love you Rishi

Rishi's POV

Exams are going to start from next month and here I am doing nothing just shuffling through the pages of my books.

The syllabus is untouched and I am not even bothered about that.

How can I think about all these when my mind is preoccupied by my best friend.

Here comes a smile on my face.

Thinking about her always makes me smile.

She is constant in my mind.

Keeping the book aside I took my phone and started scrolling through her social media account.

Just a mere photo of her can bring a sense of relief in me.

Resting my head against the bedrest I closed my eyes only to get flashes of her.

Her almond shaped eyes.

Her cute button nose.

Her small pink lips.

Her innocent smile.

Her long black hair.

Her carefree laughter.

She is beautiful and sweet.

She is as delicate as a sapling.

But at the same time she is strong and fierce.

She has the courage to fight for what is right.

She is ambitious and that's what I love about her.

I love her chirpy nature.

I love her carefree talks.

I love her irritated face when she has to wait for me at the bus stop.

I love her twinkling eyes when I get her favourite ice cream.

I love her the way she is.

But I know she doesn't love me the way I love her.

She loves me like a best friend.

She is concerned about me only cause I am her best friend.

And nothing more than that.

I sat up with a jerk as these thoughts crossed my mind.

My smile converted to a frown.

Her happiness whenever she is around me.

Her immature childlike behaviour whenever she is with me.

Maybe she also loves me.

But no she is just comfortable around me as she has known me since childhood and nothing else.

But I love her.

I love making her smile.

I want all her attention for myself.

I want to stay by her side forever.

But I can't help it either.

Cause I know that she won't reciprocate my feelings.

Sometimes I feel that she loves me too.

But my mind is enough to get me out of my dreamland.

I am in such a confused state that it's difficult for me to think straight.

Moving on is difficult.

Staying in this is difficult.

It's getting on my nerves now.

I can't take the risk of confessing my love to her.

It can ruin our friendship.

I may lose her trust.

She might start hating me after that.

We might end up not being on good terms.

And I can't afford to lose my best friend.

She is a very important person of my life.

But still my heart asks

Will she never love me back?

Am I never going to get my first love?

Is it one sided?

And only she can give me the answer.

Yet I can't ask her.

I may not have my love but I will atleast have my best friend.

With these thoughts I laid down and looked at her picture.

I love you Naina

I murmured slowly and soon sleep engulfed me.

Author's POV

Both the two souls met each other in their dreams that night.

But will they ever meet in reality?

Sometimes two people love each other but for the sake of their friendship they don't confess it.

Despite loving each other they end up just being friends.

Fear of losing a loved one sometimes keep two people away from each other.

Just like Rishi and Naina.

We can't think before falling in love. Can we?

It creeps into our lives slowly and silently and before realising we are already drowned in it.

But it's a very beautiful feeling.

Loving someone endlessly and not expecting anything in return.

Is what we call one sided love.