Invisible

Invisible

Written in 2016 – 2018

“The truth is light and difficult to tell, but if we walk on this path we shall find something that can never be reckoned that this might happen”.

I have always wanted to write a book, but I have never had this chance. I did not have that special sense what many writers, poets, artists and other creators call the muse.

Perhaps something bad should have happened in my life in order this talent to come to me. It is just a few months my soul has started to wake up, something happened, it has changed forever. This gave me the opportunity to fulfill my longstanding dreams. But I did not expect this to happen. While writing, I realized what they mean by coming to the muse. I think this word does not correspond to the feeling I experience while writing. I call it “the shining of the spirit». I can explain the shining of the spirit in many ways. This happens suddenly, this may happen at such a place and time when you do not expect at all, and that’s exactly the moment when the cell of the mind revives, which completely changes your internally, so I always have a notebook and a pen, if I fail to note down in the exact moment of thinking, it disappears without trace. You cannot write with the words, with the emotion burning inside yourself at that moment, it becomes totally banal when it is written another time, just only by recollecting. Because that writing does not have the spirit, neither emotion, a book is the world where you can travel; you may become the one you want to be. It will be forever imprinted as a living book, with the immortal soul. Maybe we are people who can change many things, even thinking that our society lacks today.

The instant enlightening remains in yourself until you finish what you wanted to say, you are born again, in this moment one is completely innocent, feeling all that is sacred. The masterpieces, the books, the poems, the pictures, the films and the other are created in such a way. I also want to say that every person has a moment of shining of the spirit, some have strong, some are weak, and some are very brilliant, but such people are rarely born.

This book is neither about me, nor you. This book is for those who find themselves and if you are lucky enough you may even find God, you will be able talk to him, and most importantly, you will feel the great spiritual power that will help you in the struggle of life. I want you to get acquainted with me because I think I do not belong to this world. Remember me to live forever when I die, I will be the guardian of each of you, and when you are no longer I will come during your death. Finally, I know many people do not like what I’ve written, some will criticize me, some consider it to be nonsense, and the minority will agree.

It is your right to believe it or not, whether you really guess what I try, what are hidden behind these words. Do you know what the reality is? The truth, even though we all see the reality differently, the result is still the same. Finally, when all of us leave this world, we will see whether I was right or not, but before that you will stay in your opinion and you have the total right to do it, that is freedom, to have your opinion about everything, right to decide, it gives us the opportunity to lead the life as we want.

At the time of writing I do not just write, I feel these words inside, each word and I understand how difficult and at the same time sensitive theme I took up the pen for. Perhaps there is one point to agree for those who do not believe it at all. This world was created by some power, we called it God, and he exists, nothing is created by itself, everything needs to be controlled, even the world. As for me, I can tell you I am ready for everything you will think after reading.I feel like writing this and showing to people, and the result is minor to me.

The Reconciliation

I am opening my eyes, I am standing at the beginning of the road, I do not know where I was, how I came here. At first I thought it was a dream, but it was not. My eyes are so heavy as if I have slept with a deep sleep where I was leading my life. The reality is gone somewhere until now. I have difficulty in reckoning what happened, how I came here, or what place it is. I try to remember who I was and who I am now. My mind tries to forget something. Forget what happened before. Was my life real? It’s hard to remember when the mind does not allow you to do that. Finally everything always returns to its place. When I remembered who I was, I realized the reason for coming here. I woke up and saw the world better. I got up. My head was splitting. Everything is empty here. There are no buildings, neither trees nor stones. Only one way -with three directions. Each of them says: “Are you sure that this is your way?” I did not know what to do, how to behave. I am standing in the middle of three ways, I am looking at the inscriptions and cannot understand whether it says or asks. I looked back, and the way back to me was “past”, I decided to follow this path because I knew what it was like, and I did not know what it would be like in the future. I was about to go, when I heard the sound.

- “Do not go, it’s your past, if you go back there, you will never be able to start again and find the right path”. This voice was heard from all sides. At first, I could not understand who he was, I did not know whether it was worth saying something and then said something what I did not want to hear. Why? Because I reckoned who he was. – “You have to go”. - I do not know whether I was ready or not to find, what I was looking for, sometimes I feel scared. Sometimes bad or even a good answer, none is acceptable. Though...

-“All other ways say the same, how should I know which is right”? –I said.-“Everyone is the same but it means different, you have to decide which one to choose. Remember that you can always go another side, it’s your life and it depends on your steps, do not be afraid, the difficulty lies in everything, the main thing is to believe in yourself”.-the voice disappeared.

I chose the first way. I think the first is always important, it means the beginning of something that you will understand with me. I glanced at the past, I knew I had to forget what happened and who I was, if I walked forward, I would have to change, one cannot see the future as you are now, because life cannot be continued, you will come back from there, you will have to start again. It is true when they say that we are guilty of every our misfortune, but somehow I did not find myself guilty in my life, I thought a lot, why it happened to me and the answer is probably between these roads and I am ready to accept any response because the truth nevertheless it is painful, still reveals you. I walked along the road, I did not think about where I was going or what I was going to do. I was just walking. Thoughts were gone, I tried to imagine myself or meet somebody or something that would bring me to the answer. The question that has not been asked yet cannot be answered, but I know there is the question and the answer. Sometimes we find out what our question was only after receiving the answer. I do not remember how long I walked, the only thing in front of me was the road, and everything else had disappeared. It looked like a dream, but it was not. This is the way that we all have to go through, just some people cannot see it, but I could always see it even though I did not want it, and finally I decided to accept the truth. It is not easy to see what is real, to see yourself as you are, it can be frustrating. Maybe I am afraid not to find myself as I know myself. Now I cannot think of it, what will I do and I do not know what I will feel. With a lot of thoughts, I’ve gone through a lot of things, and I did not even feel how it got dark. I looked around and saw a big stone. “I’ll sleep here and tomorrow, I hope there will be no empty road like today”.