Shattered

Summary

Cami Ayad had been through hell and back this past year and the only thing she wanted was to have some normality in her life. After her brutal and traumatising experience with Werewolves, she was reluctant to attend the party celebrating the union of her sister Nala and her mate Alpha Alessandro.

The guest list was extensive and consisted of all the Alphas and Betas from across the country. Cami’s plan was to attend the party, keep a low profile and then leave. It was a simple plan and one that would have gone without a hitch if she hadn’t caught the eye of an Alpha.

Not just any Alpha, Alpha Rafael Casillas, one of the most ruthless and vicious Alpha out there, an Alpha who despised humans.

So why couldn’t he stay away from Cami?

And why couldn’t Cami, who feared Werewolves, do the same?

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Chapter One

Trauma. That’s one of the words that kept getting regularly thrown around me, it’s the lasting emotional response due to living through a distressing event. Experiencing a traumatic event is believed to have a negative impact on a person’s sense of safety, sense of self and ability to regulate emptions and navigate relationships. Long after the event had occurred, people with trauma can often feel shame, fear, helpless and powerless.

That’s what everyone kept telling me anyway, that I’m probably thinking those things and feeling those things. Some days I did feel like that and other days I felt nothing, like I was empty and hollow inside.

I made a decision to go back to where it happened, I wanted to take away the power of that painful memory and prove to myself that I could move on if I wanted to. However, going back to my own house and walking into the kitchen where my life changed didn’t make me feel empowered, instead I was instantly hit with the flashbacks of what had happened to me.

Those painful memories were like books, pages and pages filled with details of every single thing that had happened on that day. I should just leave them on the shelf to gather dust instead of picking them up, opening it and reliving those memories over and over again.

At times I wanted to pick those books off the shelf and relive those memories, I wanted to re see the situations leading up to that night, what I had done that had led to what my life is now. Was it my fault? Did I engage with him too much? Did I smile too much? Did I unknowingly give off signs that I was interested in him?

Despite my sister, Nala, saying it wasn’t my fault I knew some of it must have been, I must have done something for all of this to have happened.

Going back to my house didn’t help in the slightest, Nala had offered to come with me but I wanted to go alone, I wanted to face it alone like I should have from the start. I threw my sister’s life into chaos and she did everything she could to keep me safe, including mating with an Alpha.

Even though Nala said it was her choice and she wanted to be with Alpha Alessandro, the guilt would haunt me forever. If it wasn’t for me she would be a normal university student, living life to the fullest and doing whatever she wanted to do. Instead she is now the Luna to a pack of ruthless werewolves.

In spite of the lack of details of Nala’s captivity I knew it was worse than she had let on, she must have gone through hell and back for me and I don’t think I would ever be able to repay her what everything she had done for me.

She seemed happy though, happy and content with the life she was living now but a part of her must wonder what life would be like if she never met Alpha Alessandro.

Our house looked the same as it did when we left it almost a year ago except the slight eery feeling I got when I entered through the front door. Once Nala had decided to stay with Alpha Alessandro, I spent my time split between their house and Uncle Tom’s house, I should have come back here but I couldn’t, not yet anyway.

It was now or never, I had to start the healing process so I could move on because everyone else had, everyone else’s life was continuing except mine, mine felt like it was at a standstill and wouldn’t budge no matter how hard I tried.

I had to try harder though, I had to dig myself out of this funk I was in despite it pulling and holding me down like a ball and chain. I wasn’t going to let him ruin my life any further, I was in control of my life, I was in charge.

“I can do this.” I muttered to myself as I walked around the house, taking everything in like a property manger looking to sell a house.

The house lacked the warmth we usually felt, that warmth dimmed slightly when my parents died but now there was barely anything left. The same could be said for the actual house, there was barely anything left here. The bulk of the furniture were still here, it was the little things that were gone such as the random ornaments we had dotted around the house and the pictures that were littered over all of the wall and our personal items.

Nala had taken some of them with her to her new house, fitting in as much as she could while putting the rest of it in storage. It was most of my things that were in storage, not that I had many things to begin with, I simply didn’t have a place for them.

I couldn’t leave them here, I couldn’t leave them at Uncle Tom’s and I couldn’t leave them at Nala’s pack house. I didn’t have anywhere to put them, they didn’t belong anywhere.

Just like you.

Shaking that thought away I tried to focus on something else and not on the reality of what my life has become now. It was hard to do that though, I had nothing else to distract myself with.

Maybe I should ask Nala to give me Misty, after all she did belong to both of us and I could use the distraction and the company. It’s not that I didn’t have company, I was usually around people but I still felt alone and lonely. Have you ever felt that? Being around lots of people yet feeling so alone that you might as well be locked up in a small, isolated room?

Would that feeling ever go away?

Entering my bedroom, I sat down on the bed, ignoring the layer of dust I could see that had form from the lack of use. I closed my eyes and leaned back so I was now lying down. Within seconds of being on my own, I could feel myself drifting off.

Sleep has been evading me for a long time and I craved it like a drug addict craved their next hit. I used to sleep a lot before, most of the weekends I would sleep in until the middle of the afternoon but now I was lucky if I got a couple of hours of sleep each night.

It bad enough that he plagued my waking thoughts but he also plagued my dreams too. However, if I was being honest, he wasn’t the main cause of my lack of sleep. There was something that kept me up at night, it started of sporadically a few months ago, around the time I turned 18, I felt something in my dreams that felt so real.

Something or someone was waiting for me, I couldn’t see what it was but I felt it, felt him. It was a him, the presence felt like it was male, I don’t know how I knew that, I just did. I say something or someone because at times it felt like it was a human and other times it felt like an animal.

It wasn’t sinister or menacing, it was just there as if was waiting for me.

The vibration of my phone that was currently in my pocket had me snapping my eyes open quickly. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled my phone out and answered the call.

“Hi Nala, you okay?”

It was hard to hear her over the loud background noise. “Hey, just checking in. What time is your train?”

My eyes widened slightly as I remembered what Nala was talking about. Though Nala had already had some sort of ceremony to initiate her into the pack and had been announced as their Luna, Alpha Alessandro was throwing a party with other packs to celebrate the finding of his mate and Luna.

I let out a little groan. “Do I have to come to this?” I was praying that she would say no and I wouldn’t have to socialise with people, especially Werewolves.

“Please Cami, you have to come! Please, please, please.”

Letting out another groan I reluctantly agreed. “Fine. I’ll be on the next train there.”

“Text me the train times, I’ll come pick you up.”

I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “No, it’s fine. I know my way from the train station to the pack house.” I knew she would be busy with the festivities and I didn’t want to disturb her.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.” I paused before continuing. “What should I wear?” I probably should have thought of my outfit earlier.

Nala let out a little laugh. “Don’t worry I’ve got you covered, I’ve got a few dresses that I thought you might like.”

Always thinking ahead.

“Okay.”

“Thanks Cami, I really appreciate it. I know how hard it is for you.” Nala’s voice was soft and filled with love.

It was difficult but for my sister I would do anything, just as she has done anything and everything for me.

I cut the visit to my house short, doing a quick sweep to make sure everything was okay before checking the locks and leaving the house. Taking an Uber to the train station, I double checked the timings again and made a mental note of what platform the train would be leaving from.

Thanking the driver, I dashed out of the car and made my way through the busy train station, dodging out of the way of rushed commuters to reach the platform the train was leaving from. I managed to get on the train with a couple of minutes to spare and plumped down on the seat, putting my bag on the empty seat next to me.

“That’s a cute necklace.” The stranger sitting opposite me said as the train set off.

I looked down at the necklace I hadn’t realised I was fiddling around with. “Thanks.”

It was a necklace that Nala had given me after she mated with Alpha Alessandro, she had told me that it was a special necklace and would protect me. Both Nala and Alpha Alessandro knew that I felt extremely anxious and nervous around Werewolves and they wanted to ease my anxiety slightly especially since Nala wanted me to spend some time at the pack house. The necklace had the ability to block scents and would block mine from others.

The way Werewolves were able to track people down and the way he was able to track me down was by following my scent. Though it may not protect me physically, it would provide me some sort of protection from Werewolves as my scent would be practically hidden from them.

I didn’t know how helpful that may be to other people but for me it put my mind at ease knowing I wasn’t as easily trackable. I was, however, trackable to Nala who had also put a GPS tracker inside the necklace that way as long as I kept that necklace on she would know where I was.

The necklace was on me constantly without fail, I only took it off when I went to sleep or when I took a shower. The design and size were practical and it didn’t clash with any of my clothes so even during special occasions I still wore it and I intended to wear it tonight.

Little did I know that life was about to change drastically tonight, even with the necklace on.

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A/N: I hope you guys liked the first chapter!

What do you think of it so far?

I will upload the next chapter tomorrow but you can read ahead on my subscription page here on Inkitt or on www.patreon.com/kayy_b

Thank you for reading a 😊

-Kayy xx