Chapter 1
I am isolated, I am alone. I am darkness. Confusion is my friend, sorrow my cloak. Every passage I'm continually falling into haunts me. Every memory, a drain on my withering existence.
I look through hazel eyes, but the darkness has yet to open another door. Has yet to allow me to enter another of its tortures.
I rip at my fingers. Their cold touch is the only sensation I'm allowed in this accursed cell. I claw at my skin, my body a prison and I the prisoner.
My eyes I fear have failed me. I have not seen the light of day in months or years. Time is weird in this cell or in this death. I'm not sure what it is that has me trapped in this abyss.
An eerie light touches my eyelids. They must have been closed, funny because I don't remember falling asleep. The light now before me casts a discolored gray on an ashy road. I long to touch the earth. To feel its strength beneath my feet but I am suspended above the earth. Trapped in some invisible claw.
A cold shudder stabs me. A fear so icy I feel faint. The woman before me does not see me, yet I recognize her deathly pale form. Her eyes are a black so deep that I fear I shall be lost in them.
Guilt floods me and I wish for a second to tell her to run, but sand clogs my throat. Dry restraint pulling me back. An ominous sound ricochets through the static air pulling a dark face of fear rapidly turning to pain from the woman. I turn my head to avoid the ridiculing stain of crimson welling from the Flink doctor's stomach. The world around me has begun to spin, turning once more into an onyx pit of black.
My heart is racing, providing the only sound I've heard in my captivity, as I ponder over yet another blot on my soiled soul. I am helpless to quench the panic welling beneath me. Unable to stop the guilt that rips me to my core.
I feel alone... so...so...so alone, and I worry that this torture is to be my future. Once again, my mind tries to quell the torrent of anguish flooding through me. I thought I had a reason. Every life I've watched fall was not a deed I relished in. I long for food in this solace. Long for the touch of liquid to my parched lips, but I have not been given the pleasure of these amenities. I try to feel for a wall, for an object. Anything but this continual abyss I am ever floating though, but there is nothing to offer me comfort.
Day 2.
It's been days since I witnessed the woman's death for the second time. Months since that soft light touched my eyes.
A soft repetitive boom hisses through my ears alerting me of yet another scene I am to relieve. My eyes have yet to be unveiled from the darkness that has enwrapped them, but the continuously loudening thuds send cold shivers down my spine.
A splitting shout jolts me fully awake, and I look around searching for the source. Someone brushes past me. I reach out feeling for the first time the comfort of the solid earth, but my small joy is short lived, rapidly into the sharpest form of anguish as the golden sun begins to permeate my dull vision.
I am surrounded by the intruding branches of rough oak. I watch as a young man not yet matured wraps tanned knuckles around his long sniper. Nervous sweat gleams his olive forehead. He looks like the image of fear, a perfect copy of myself, as he peaks through the sights of his rifle. A look of betrayal washes over his face, causing pure shame to fill me. I long to stop the boy from making the mistake I will never be able to remove from my soul.
He jerks, throwing a weary glance towards the ensuing fight before him. I follow his eyes, knowing every decision the bloodbath before us will bring. He is on his knees now, slowly backing away from the fight.
Slowly backing away from his companions... from his friends.
I watch the coward as he disappears into the thick foliage, regret flooding over me. I close my eyes trying to prevent the ensuing memory from once again perforating my mind, but I am powerless to shut out the screams. Powerless to erase my past.
Pain rocks my body, sorrow becomes my companion, and for the first time I welcome the gradual darkness that takes me away from this memory. The shame I feel is unbearable. A weight that I am unable to remove. I want to sink to the ground, but I am once more suspended among the wings of darkness.
As the hours tick by I try to find something to quell the restless churning of my mind. My memory slips over who I once was.
My name is Ben Hail, I joined the Vynka third army at the age of ten. Now I am agent 311 for the third division of the eagle Fox secrets missions branch. My last mission was to infiltrate the Flinks Zinoth lab and steal the documents on their top scientist experiments, but whether I succeeded my memory has yet to tell.
I reach out in the darkness. My fingers feel nothing, but the black veil I am engulfed in. The gnawing ache in my stomach has yet to leave me in peace, and I shudder as every recollection of my youth flies through my mind like a distant torture.
I was thirteen when it happened. Our division was ambushed, and I knew I only had a split second's choice whether to run or to join my comrades in their final battle. Shame fills me as I recall every memory I have tried to forget for so long. The betrayal still stings me, carving a hole I cannot fill. Every face of those I left flash before my eyes in a display of grueling guilt.
Day 3.
I am horror. I am shame. I am solace, and I am to blame...
The carvings of my past dig a hole so deep that I am afraid I will drown in its guttural pit. I can't continue like this. The agony of this pit tearing rifts in my mind I fear shall paralyze me. Every aspect of my body is numb. I am not even allowed the pain of my own torn fingers.
Yet I persist to shed them in pieces , the only thing keeping me from absolute insanity. I can't remember my name… I think it's Eagle.
I don't know— somehow the word doesn't resonate the way I think my name would. Maybe I am already crazy. I feel this blackness has robbed me of every fiber I once was.
Day 4.
I am death. I am the grave. I am… no more.
It has been years since I've seen the light of day. Decades since my legs were allowed to feel soft earth against my feet. Something claws at me begging for my attention. I try to ignore the call. I do not wish to be disturbed in this stupor I call home, but the growing light against my eyelids pulls me to allow the gleam in.
Light cascades on a gurgling stream making a dancing line among the crevices of the mountains. Its somber beauty almost allows me to forget the memory that is about to unfold before my eyes.
A young woman, as bright as the golden sun, tips her flask to icy water. Her expression is a glow of simplistic beauty. My breath catches at her simple elegance. The memory of her bubbling laugh haunting me with its passion.
A movement catches my eyes, and I turn to observe the form of a young man as lean and cut as an Olympian god. He wades knee deep in the crystal water, a bliss filled smile lighting his hazel eyes.The man's attention falls to a deer gracefully dipping her head to the mossy earth. He is the perfect image of my younger self. Still full of the innocent youth I lost so long ago.
A small cry rips from the young woman's throat. Causing the man to whip his head hurriedly in her direction. A snake as green as an emerald slides sinisterly back into the dense undergrowth leaving its prey a paralyzed shamble on the rocks.
The man begins to swim. Desperately trying to claw his way through the current. I want to scream, but the shackling knowledge that I can do nothing rips me apart. The man tears at the water, painfully aware that he has only a few seconds to give the woman anti venom before the adder takes her life. I shudder following the man's scramble to the rapidly fading life. Enya's eyes are deathly pale, and I know that I (The man is too late).
Still the man sinks down and presses a shining needle into her creamy skin. I sink to my knees. I... Can't do it... I can't do this. I close my eyes, painfully aware of every movement that goes on around.
I... still... can't shove her face from my eyes... Please, I attempt to pull the woman towards me, but the body simply fazes right through my fingers. A cold reminder of how truly powerless I am.
Kneeling, I close my eyelids as tightly as they will allow me. Tears prick my cheeks, but l ignore them. I can't do this anymore... I tear at my chest desperate to rip my aching heart from the body it tortures. Let... me... out. I scream!
Blackness. It is so, so black. This void seems darker than before, or maybe I am just darker. A warm liquid flows against my skin, against my chest. Blood... My skin is beneath my nails, my chest is a mess of scars. But I feel nothing.
"Wake up." A scream resonates from my throat becoming lost in the deep onyx. "Wake
up!" I scream again.
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. I've lost track of my words. All I know is that I am shaking from head to toe. My body is trembling from shear exhaustion.
"Ben Hail. Wake up." The dawn of realization hits me. This is not my voice... actually I do not know what my real voice sounds like . I laugh crazily. "Ben." I am shaking more rapidly now. "Ben, wake up." Light fills my eyes, and the blurry images of soldiers meld before me. I gasp at the sensation of a strong hand against my shredded shoulder.
He can feel me… Confusion clouds my weary mind and I stare at the men until unconsciousness threatens to pull me under. The soldier shakes me again, his voice a firm steel.
"Ben hail, My name is Lieutenant Challenge of the Third eagle fox division. And we are here to rescue you."
