Weight of Womanhood

Dressed in pale pink lace

My teddy bear in its rightful place

I waited for my mother’s embrace

With a smile on my face

Naive and young

On a playground swing I swung

..and to my innocence I clung

I wore pigtails

My hair light and blonde

Tried to find snails

With a sparkly princess wand

Young and naive

I was told I could do anything I wanted to achieve.

Little did I know what he meant to say

Was that

I was whatever society wanted to perceive.

Too small i was taught

That girls are supposed to wear peals

And their hair should be

in perfect curls

I learned too little

How to count the calories in skittle

That a stomach flat

Gets the guy to chat

I soon heard that pink lace meant more

The material still inside my drawer

It’s innocent pink frills

Suddenly filling my body with chills

At age 9

I learned how to lip line

A pale rosy tint, the color lied

A child beneath

Still trying to hide

My mascara says “grown”

But my eyes say “stay”

Missing a childhood that got wiped away

Years later

And i’ve grown tall

But still I grieve

for pumpkin pie in fall

and cookie crumbs on my sleeve

I now

throw up my plate

In efforts to lose the weight

And get asked on a date

He always pays yet

my identity was the one that got sold

i’ve always felt so

.. controlled

Wearing a face that doesn’t feel

quite like mine

Painted and crafted

To fit into society’s design

I lean in close to find what’s wrong

The silence tells me

I’ve known all along

That wearing makeup to impress

And fitting into a dress

Was my childhood thief

I’m a girl gulping a woman’s grief.