just a normal day
Its been a while now, two years to be exact and a lot has chanced I grew up i’m not eighteen anymore i’m twenty years old, so where do I start… so I lost al my friends and as you can see at the beginning I wrote something about the meaning of friendship, right now I believe in none of that and I think it’s stupid, oh yeah besides that I lost everything including my job I didn’t get my diploma and everything when to shit what can I say it’s fantastic being a twenty year old girl, but who am I to say my life is so terrible…. It’s terrible for me I still live at home I don’t have my driving license and I just feel really alone right now after everything that happend I just feel really alone like I have no one to talk to, right now I’m trying to make up for everything like search for a new job like I thought when I applied for a job they all of the sudden are not looking for people man I hate being old, I hate doing this, and I hate everything, I’m just so mad why can’t nothing go my way, I’m trying to keep up the happy facade but it’s really hard when life keeps testing me like that, sometimes I just had the guts to jump of the bridge and kill myself so I don’t have to deal with this bullshit anymore it’s not like they are going to miss me, and really trust me I’ve been feeling like this for years but no one knows like I told you I have no one to talk to I just wish I had, I barley have any friends and I have no sociaal life and its just feels so suffocating like I just want to yell but if I do I explode out of madness and if that happens I have nothing left anymore, I’m just so mad and sad annoyed I don’t know what to write about it just feels like i’m losing it day by day and I hate that feeling it’s weird like it never left me it’s like this feeling is ghosting over me all these years, and right now I have nothing to do I’m stuck at home and I’m going insane I don’t know what to do it just feel like I’m the villain in this story like I have bad energy and everything I want I can’t get because I don’t deserve it, but it’s to late anyway this whole page is about things I wanted I could never get and I hated and I’m scared to admit that I’m actually jealous I just wanted someone to love me but that’s never going to happen and I actually hate it that she does have that
