Chapter 1
A cool breeze blows. It slips through her hair and tickles it. Her beautiful long silk skirt dances in the wind. A very beautiful smile is on her lips, and her eyes have stolen hearts. She looks around seductively and with a gentle smile deceives many. In her eyes, there is a strange calmness that, for anyone who stares long enough, becomes a beautiful sea that suddenly swallows them with a big wave—and struggling will have no effect. By drowning in this sea, you either fall in love with her or get terrified—a terror born from her inner power. Her smile, accompanied by a slight laugh, proudly shows her success to those around her. She runs a hand through her hair and with the other sends a seductive kiss. When you look at her, you feel her life is drowned in joy and peace, and she swims in an ocean of success.
Until you hear: "Cut!" This time, instead of drowning in her videos, you see her life behind all these cameras.
After filming ends, her smile fades, and in her eyes, calmness gives way to anger and exhaustion. She walks toward the producer, watches her own video, and then demands her payment! I paid close attention and realized she was asking for payment because of a mineral water advertisement that wasn’t even in the video, and with all those detailed descriptions, I didn’t see it either. After a lot of arguing, she gets her payment, though I don’t know how much, but enough to satisfy her. Truly, after filming, she completely changes: an angel who came from the sky becomes human as soon as her feet touch the ground. All the good imaginations we had built in our hearts with her smile are now destroyed by her frown and anger.
At the same time, alongside the anger that drenches her from head to toe, exhaustion devours her crazily; now I can see in her tired, impatient eyes wondering when these pains, sufferings, and judgments will end. From her facial expression, I understand that half of her being is full of questions for herself, and the other half is covered with a blush of embarrassment, unable to answer her own questions. Perhaps if she were born again, she would never walk this path. Pretending to be very happy and having no problems in life has saddened her and crushed her heart.
Along the entire way home, her fans block her car's path, and all she can do is keep a smile on her lips and not bow her head—even though she hasn’t slept for days. Not a minute is peaceful; she’s constantly in front of cameras that are ready to broadcast her images and videos without her consent. Meanwhile, her manager calls and says she has a meeting in an hour. The fact that immediately after finishing one of her projects, she has only time to change locations, and no time to rest, disturbs her a little. Even thinking about how she must reach the meeting through the crowded traffic drives her crazy.
She gets out of the car, intending to walk with some of her bodyguards until the traffic and crowd ease. Meanwhile, she sees a restaurant she’s wanted to eat at for a long time, but a paper on the window reads: “Closed due to change of business.” The excitement that had occupied her mind for a long time about going there is now extinguished. She becomes a little bored, having no time even for herself. In a hurry, she goes on until one of her fans stops her for a photo. She doesn’t feel good, feels a bit embarrassed, thinks her appearance is disheveled, but still answers with a smile and takes the photo.
They continue walking, and she notices a shop she likes but knows that buying from there wouldn’t look good in people’s eyes. So she closes her eyes to her own wishes again. When she arrives, from the very first moment, they take her time and don’t even let her breathe. Night falls, her work has lasted very long and still isn’t over. Her eyes close but she forces herself to stay awake. Taking a moment to splash water on her face, she leaves the noisy crowd behind. After washing her face, she intends to refresh her makeup, but she doesn’t find herself in the mirror. She searches intensely but doesn’t see herself. A lump forms in her thirsty throat, and her eyes fill with tears. Is this me? Why, why have I changed so much? She’s tired of pretending; at first, she hated pretending, but over time, with a little more experience, she understood many people watch her and wait for the smallest mistake to criticize. She realized it doesn’t matter to others that she is human too; she must be flawless. Despite her pure heart and soul, people’s words and her efforts to please have brought her here, away from herself.
Now many envy her life, while she longs for others’ lives and a peaceful sleep. Regret is useless now; many sweet moments of her life have been spent badly. Ultimately, her life was not as beautiful as her videos. She won’t change—this is the world of fame. She herself chose to walk this path and will stand by her decision.
