Chapter 1
“Radi, it’s sunset. How do you feel?” he whispered while entering the tent.
“Feel like I’m half-dead. And don’t scream, please,” Arrdun said, hoarsely.
“Sunset? Already? The second one?” he asked, surprised.
“No, the third. I suggest we stay inside,” he said. “Your wounds are still unhealed.”
“Third?” Arrdun repeated, surprised. “I need to run. I need to restore morale. Otherwise you know what happens next,” he said.
“Radi, Radi. Can’t change you, huh?” he said.
“Try it. Try again and maybe one day it will…” Arrdun said, touching his chest. “Crap!” he said, angrily.
“What? What happened?” he asked.
“Nothing. Whatever,” Arrdun answered. “The point is, a commander must be strong.”
“And smart,” he added. “I know the rules, but a breathing commander is better than a dead one.”
“Did you just call me dumb?” Arrdun asked.
“Technically yes, but literally no,” he said.
“About the breathing part, you’re right. But if it were just you, I would take a year off,” Arrdun said.
“Radi, any new dream?” he whispered, curiously.
“Wow, I didn’t see that one coming,” Arrdun said. “What a change of topic!” he added, surprised.
“What? I took you off guard?” he asked, smiling.
“Nice try, but no. I just couldn’t sleep because of yesterday. I didn’t even notice the time passing,” Arrdun said quietly, slowly sitting on his bed. “The dream… how much time has passed? Still keeping hope? That’s good.”
“Yeah, yesterday… I’m glad it’s already passed,” he said. “Hopefully, there won’t be an infection. Still hurts a lot?”
“No, I’m fine. Feels like a mosquito bite,” Arrdun said weakly. “Infection? Don’t know that word.”
“So you’re a tough guy, huh,” he said. “You know what they say?”
“What?” Arrdun asked.
“Some are like pasta,” he said. “They’re hard until things get heated. Then they go soft.”
“Jester,” Arrdun said, smiling. “I almost died.”
“No dream means being stuck with that very useful color gray, huh? Don’t get me wrong,” he said. “I’m sure it’s important. Maybe you saw our death?” He laughed.
“Useful… it’s a good word. Didn’t see color, but heard the word,” Arrdun said sadly. “Others saw important events. But I… I don’t know anymore.”
“When they brought you back, I saw you. And you know, that day I was so tired I worried about digging a hole for you,” he said. “You’re lucky I was here. Otherwise, they would’ve left you there,” he added.
“They wouldn’t, jester!” Arrdun said, smiling. While putting his shoes on, a sadness crossed his face. He continued, “You know… almost fifteen years. No dream, nothing. And still hoping, still asking?”
“Well, someone has to,” he said. “Don’t worry. Maybe next time you’ll be lucky. You will.”
“Next time… next time,” Arrdun mumbled while yawning. “Is it cold here, or is it just me?” he asked, starting to rub his hands and arms.
“I think your temperature dropped because of the wounds,” he said. “You need to continue your recovery…”
“But I’m breathing,” Arrdun interrupted. “The enemy is too strong.” He took a deep breath and looked at Bardy. “Dear, dear Dori… I wish I had your smile,” Arrdun said sadly.
“Always the same excuse,” Bardy said. “The enemy was never weak,” he continued. “I hope to have a dream like yours, just once, before I die.” He looked at Arrdun. “My smile? I was expecting to hear about my sister.”
“Dry up,” Arrdun said, smiling. “Who told you?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Bardy replied.
“You know, Dori,” Arrdun said as he stood up painfully, “when I heard you were here, I did everything to come. But…” He placed his hand on his left chest. “But since yesterday, I’ve been regretting it.” He said, smiling.
“Hmm, like that? Hah, all right,” Bardy said, nodding slowly. “You know what? Remember the day of the celebration, and your lost extra apple?” Bardy looked at Arrdun, trying not to laugh.
“Hmm, an apple or your sister? I made my choice. But one day, I’ll take that apple back,” Arrdun said, fastening his belt and getting ready to leave the tent.
“Don’t forget an extra tunic, and before you ask, the cloak is outside,” Bardy said as he changed out of his patroller’s clothes.
“Yeah, thanks, Mommy,” Arrdun said. “I’ll take it after going to the bathroom. After washing. Cleaning my face, my teeth, and…” He stepped out of the tent and added, “Hygiene always comes first.”
“And the enemy comes second,” Bardy yelled before Arrdun went too far.
Bardy slowly sat down on his bed. He was alone in the tent. His face grew sad, and his smile disappeared. Pressing his lips together, he placed his hands on his forehead, holding back tears. Come on buddy. Fifteen years of fighting. Hold on. Hold. Fifteen. You can do it. You... no, I can’t. Can’t anymore. Tears welled up in his eyes. Instantly, he covered them with his hands and lay down on his bed. Remember your family. Remember. I am weak. I am broken. Nobody knows. Nobody cares. No. Your family cares. My family. I miss you. Don’t know how much longer I can hold on. Need help. Need hope. Help. Hope. For family. For Radi. For him. He came for me.
Some time passed. The noises outside grew closer to the tent, and Arrdun entered. Bardy turned his face away, trying to hide it from Arrdun.
“I thought you were drowning,” Bardy said. “What took you so long?”
“My wounds,” Arrdun replied, worry creeping into his voice. “And I’m no longer seventeen.”
“Neither am I,” Bardy said. “Catch your breath, old man. Did you decide to die inside the camp? I was expecting a plan or at least some vengeance.”
“Listen, Dori,” Arrdun said seriously while putting on an extra tunic. “I know it started two days ago. I almost died and today is the third day.” He waited a moment before continuing.
“Now, I am standing again and I am asking you to keep your smile, keep your hope.”
Bardy couldn’t talk. He covered his mouth with his hand and tears came from his eyes.
“We are together, buddy. We can do it, like in the old days,” Arrdun said. “We need to keep hope and morale in the camp. Otherwise, you know what comes next.”
“Yeah, I do,” Bardy said quietly. “What doesn’t kill you makes you…”
“Fragile! If you’re lucky,” Arrdun interrupted. “If you aren’t, self-destruct.”
“I thought you were going to say ‘strongeeeeeeeeeeeeer!’” Bardy said, surprised.
“Whoever said ‘stronger’ never took real, straight heavy hits,” Arrdun said, scratching his arms, back, legs, and shoulders.
Bardy remained silent.
“Stronger, stronger, indeed,” Arrdun repeated. “The cost is irreversible. Remember that feeling, no pain, blood boiling, able to take down a mountain. But,” Arrdun said, “look at me now, thirty-two years old and already talking about a hole in the ground.”
“Definition of the word alone, Radi,” Bardy said. “Sadly, no allies, dark divines, monsters, witches, other humans, so on.” Bardy continued, “Why, my friend, why? Tell me why?”
“Dori, don’t break me,” Arrdun said. “We have dreams.”
“No, we had dreams,” Bardy corrected. “And who believes in them now?”
“We started together fifteen years ago,” Arrdun said. “And I know one thing.”
“Yes, I am listening,” Bardy said.
“Whoever or whatever sent us dreams wanted to help us,” Arrdun said.
“I agree, but why did it stop?” Bardy asked. “Not just you, but others also. There is nobody who saw new dreams,” Bardy continued. “Maybe whoever or whatever it was is already dead?”
“Questions and no answers. I don’t know if I am the last person who saw them,” Arrdun said. “Maybe we need more people like you to believe.”
“Nonsense,” Bardy said. “People started to have dreams regardless of their beliefs.” Bardy continued. “I myself did not believe until I was near you when you had a dream. I saw you and the gray cloud briefly gathered near your head and then disappeared.”
“Anyway, did you understand me?” Arrdun asked while putting on his cloak, which he had taken when he was outside. “Dream or no dream, it does not matter. We fight back. That is who we are. That is my and our vengeance.”
“Yes, Commander,” Bardy said. He didn’t show his face but raised his closed palm.
“Good,” Arrdun said and left the tent.
He wanted to meet with the cook and the armorer. He wanted to see how many supplies they had. He was walking to meet the cook. Crap, fifteen years and no dreams. Nobody. I’m afraid Dori is right. Crap, I’m the last one who had them. Without dreams, the clan will fall. Why does it hurt so much? I think I need a walking stick. I must be strong for the sake of others, for the squad. Fifteen years passed, so what? And why did I become a commander? Crap, today is the third day and the day is almost finished. We had losses. If reinforcements don’t come soon, I’m afraid. Come on, you can do this. And how does Dori manage to smile?
As he walked, the sky suddenly darkened. Screaming human voices echoed all around him. He froze and glanced to the left and then to the right, a quiet panic stirring in his chest. His throat went dry, and a cold wave of dread settled over him. His heart began to pound faster, each beat hammering like a warning. Sweat started to form on his face, a heavy weight of fear pressed down on his shoulders. He could hear his own breathing growing louder, as if someone else was breathing right next to him. His body tensed, caught between fear and disbelief. Instinctively, he clenched both hands and raised them in front of his chest. Blood, dirt, and sweat coated his palms, making him feel vulnerable and exposed. He looked down and saw that he was wearing a damaged, shoulderless breastplate made of an alloy of copper, tin, and lead. Confusion mixed with rising fear, washed over him, leaving him frozen in place.
“Commander?” a crew member asked, surprised. “Glad to see you. I thought you were…”
The moment Arrdun heard those words, everything around him began to shift, slowly returning to the way it had been before.
Arrdun looked at the member. “I am not an easy target even if it is a monster,” he continued. “While I am standing now, call the others for a meeting. But before that, I have a few things to do. Then I will come.”
“Yes, Commander! See you there,” a crew member said and went.
When he left, Arrdun quickly checked his hands and chest. He stood still for a moment. He took deep, ragged breaths again and again. He closed his eyes then opened them slowly. Then he forced himself to keep moving. Bloody darkness. It is here, already crawling in. May the darkness tear you apart, freaky monster. Time to play the tough guy and hold my ground.
