Legacies—A Star Wars Tale

Have you ever killed someone before?

Have you ever wanted to?

I always thought I'd feel guilty. That I'd stop myself. That I'd be better than this.

But I'm not.

I get angry and I lose it. I yell, I grab, I hit. I've done it more times than I want to admit. Not enough to kill anybody... but close. Closer than I want to remember.

And I don't trust myself. I don't. Every time I feel that heat in my chest I wonder if this is the time I go too far. And now I'm here. Staring at him. My hands shaking. This is it. I'm scared by how easy it is to justify his death in my mind. I feel far less conflicted than I would've ever thought.

Less guilty. He deserved it.

And when someone deserves it, what's the point anyway of pretending they're human?

I've been in this spot before—moments where I was the deciding factor, life or death. But there was always someone to pull me back.

Not today.

Today it's just me.

And the bastard who ruined my life.

He coughed, dragging himself through the dust. "Look at me—unarmed. And you still hesitate. That's what they drilled into you, isn't it? Mercy. Restraint. Jedi tricks. You don't kill men like me unless we're holding a blade. That's why you'll always lose."

I let my sabers fall. Let them hiss into silence.

If this was happening, I wanted to feel it with my own hands.

"You're mistaken to believe that." My hands closed around his throat, his hot blood slick against my palms. His eyes bulged as I pressed my thumbs into his windpipe. "I am no Jedi."

But that wasn't the beginning.

Back then it was just me. Jakku. And Jacen being Jacen—slamming the door in my face like always.

—Jakku

79 CRC—

{HERA}

I knocked on his door with my best grin—dimples and all. I swear, it's a secret weapon.

He opened it just enough to give me the "you're crazy" look. "You have that same grin, Hera. Every time. And it's never good news." He said, his eyes half open in that way that told me he already wasn't having it.

I started to explain, but slam! The door shut in my face. Typical. I'm gonna have to hit him for that.

"Come on, Jace! It's gonna be fun—really! For both of us!" No answer. "Jace! Open up, or I'm breaking this door down in five minutes!"

Four minutes later, and finally he relented. "I hate you," he said, stepping back. "Alright, I'll hear you out. But I better get something out of this."

"Of course," I smirked, strutting past him. "You're second best, remember?"

He raised an eyebrow. "And the first?"

"What a dumb question, obviously me."

I threw myself on his busted couch—the springs sticking out like bones—but it felt better than the crappy one at home.

"So, remember that fight ring I told you about?"

"Yeah, and remember I told you it was a stupid idea?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's run by some old Captain guy—a clone trooper back in the day. He's loaded with creds from his military days. Win the fights, get paid big time."

Jacen's eyes lit up—interest piqued. "I'm a little rusty, but I can still hold my own. We split the winnings, thirty-seventy."

I laughed so hard I nearly cried. "You can't even fight me—how will you handle those guys? And thirty-seventy? Who's the thirty?"

He sat down, shaking his head at me. "Look, if this fight club is legit, I'm not letting you get yourself killed. I'll do all the fighting, and that's that."

I gave him my best puppy eyes. "Oh, come on. Please! I don't ask for much. Just take me there with your speeder, and I'll handle the rest. Mostly."

He scowled. "I hate it when you do that. Fine, I guess we could go check it ou—"

I jumped up and hugged him tight. Jacen always gave in. "Great! Come by tonight—I'll have everything ready." Just before I left, I turned back and slugged him right in the face. "That's for shutting the door on me."

He rubbed his cheek, stunned. "Hera, what the hell? You're crazy."

"Love you! See ya tonight!" I grinned and took off running. "I knew today was gonna be great!"

I ran for a full thirty seconds before I was totally wiped out. Usually, I could sprint all the way home with no problem. But today? The heat was brutal—felt like I was melting from the inside out.

Luckily, my house wasn't far from Jacen's. He lives in Crater Town. I don't really know if it's a good place or not — it's all I've ever known. There aren't many people, and honestly, I wish I lived there so I wouldn't have to walk this hellish route every day.

This place is what I imagine hell feels like. You'd think I'd be used to it after fifteen years, but no. The days on Jakku only get hotter.

Beads of sweat started running down my face, and the holes in my shoes let the scorching sand burn the bottoms of my feet. Didn't bother me much though — I always figured the more something hurts, the better it feels when it's finally over.

I rested my hands behind my head and forced a big smile.

Sometimes I just want to look as happy as possible, so when I die and look back, even if there were bad times, I'll see more moments of joy. That's the only way I can feel like I really lived.

As the suns began to set, I spotted my house faintly in the distance. I wasn't in the mood to hear Mom's endless warnings about the dangers of being a woman alone at night, so I decided to sneak in through the back.

My window's just a big scrap of metal I found—my original broke when Jacen and I wrestled. I accidentally threw him through it.

Since it was harvest season, Mom probably worked all day and went to bed early. I tiptoed around back, hoping the wind would cover my scraping metal sliding across the floor.

"Hera? Hera, where've you been?"

I spun around, hoping the voice wasn't really Mom's. But I was never that lucky. "Hi, Mom."

She gave me a look. "Why are you sneaking in?"

I lied, "Practicing ninja skills."

She raised an eyebrow.

I grinned wide.

"What does that even mean? What were you up to?"

I sighed. "Why are you even up?"

"Because I know better than to sleep before my fool of a daughter."

I groaned. "Look, I just didn't want to hear you lecture me about being reckless like you always do."

Her face softened. "I only do it because—"

"Because you love me," I finished. "But I can take care of myself. I train with Auntie every day. She knows I can take care of things by myself, so why don't you?"

She smiled at me, placing a hand on my cheek. "You're getting older and tired of being babied, huh?"

"Yes."

She smirked. "Alright, then. Starting tomorrow, you're helping me prep for harvest. I haven't asked before because you were too young. But now? Time to grow up. How about we get up at five and get a head start?"

I grimaced. "Woah, wait a sec. I didn't mean like right this second...I-I don't mind being your little girl a little longer."

She kissed my head. "I thought so."

Her hug smelled like roses. No matter how hard she worked, Mom always smelled like roses. It made me think of Dad's grave in the backyard and the magnolia tree she planted there.

She said the tree came from a planet called Dathomir — Dad's birth planet. She told me stories about that place, and it never sounded any good to me.

I never understood why they'd go back to a place like that just for a tree. But Mom said even though that planet brought pain, it also brought her the one thing she loved most: My father.

She told me that sometimes good things come from bad if you look hard enough. It sounded nice enough so I guess it kind of stuck with me.

"Mom, Jacen wants to know if I can go to the Sun Festival tonight." I hated lying to her, but I knew she'd kill me if she found out about the fight ring. She looked deep into my eyes like she was searching for the truth.

"You're lying."

My heart jumped, how was she so good at that?

"Okay. We were gonna skip the festival and watch the stars in the outlands," I lied again.

"What have I told you about going there?"

I rolled my eyes. "Same thing you say about everything."

We stared for a minute. I knew this was the part where she'd kiss me on the cheek and say I could go but only if I promised to be safe.

"You can go, but only if you promise to be saf—"

I threw my arms around her like I was never letting go. "Thanks, Mom! I love you, I love you, I love you!" The words tumbled out in a rush as I squeezed her tight. "You're the sweetest—ugh, and your cheeks! Do you even know how ridiculously squishy they are?" I laughed, smushing her face between my hands like it was the most important discovery in the galaxy.

Mom gave this long-suffering sigh, but her arms tightened around me anyway. "Hera, enough with the bribery," she murmured, though there was a smile in her voice. "I already said you can go, don't make me think twice about it."

We said goodnight and went inside our tiny hut. We're not rich—who on Jakku is? Just a dusty desert planet in the middle of nowhere.

I lay on my brick-hard bed, staring through the scrap metal at the stars above. They looked so beautiful from down here. I swear I could hear them calling me — calling me to come visit each one.

I reached out and closed my hand like I could hold a star. "Come on. Just abduct me or something." I whispered.

Then I heard footsteps outside my window and nearly jumped out of my skin. Should I hide under the covers? Grab a weapon?

The metal scrap was pulled slowly aside. Was this because I asked to be abducted? No, whoever this was is stupid enough to be making all that noise, not even trying to hide their presence. Then a thought clicked. "Jacen?"

He stuck his head into my room with a big smile. "Who else?"

I sighed, releasing all the pent-up fear. "You jerk. Why didn't you say anything?"

He rubbed the back of his head. "Couldn't risk it. Your mom is the scariest woman I've ever met."

I climbed out of bed, grabbed his cheeks with both hands, and pulled my face close to his.

Jacen raised an eyebrow. "Why are you so close to me?"

I smiled and squeezed his head, then smashed my forehead into his.

Jacen stumbled back, rubbing a red mark on his forehead. "What the hell?! Are you crazy?!" he whispered loudly.

"Sorry, I just like hitting you when I get excited," I grinned.

I stepped out the window, one foot after the other, and walked over to his speeder, taking a seat. "Let's hurry. I don't want to be late."

He rolled his eyes and took his helmet off the handlebar. "So, where's this place?"

"It's in the outlands."

Jacen sighed. "Where in the outlands?"

"Just keep heading north. I'm sure we'll find it eventually," I said confidently.

He turned to me, incredulous. "Are you stupid? You don't know where it is, and you think we should just keep going north?"

I rolled my eyes. "I vaguely remember the guy saying it's up north."

"Where's north, Hera?!"

I checked the moon. "Normally, I'd use the sun to navigate, but since you showed up so late, we'll have to use the moon."

"First of all you told me to come at this time, and second, you know how to use the moon to navigate?" he asked.

I ignored him, thinking back to what Auntie taught me. Since the moon reflects the sun's light, its bright side points toward the sun—east or west. The line joining the crescent's horns is at a right angle to that, so that line points north or south.

"That way." I pointed.

"Are you sure that's north?"

I smiled. "You trust me, right?"

Jacen sighed, started the speeder, and blasted off toward where I pointed. I wrapped my arms around his chest, holding tight so I wouldn't fly off. Embarrassingly, that's happened more times than I'd like to admit.

We cruised through the sand, tiny particles sticking to my face and getting into my eyes.

"Why didn't you—" Sand flew into my mouth, making me gag. "Why didn't you bring me goggles?!"

"You didn't ask," Jacen said dryly.