What is your opinion?
Tears_So Silent To be Felt!
"A beautifully written story about Emmy having Alzheimer's disease(of forgetfulness). This captures the attention of reader just through it's first para_the couple with no child, then their first one, and atlast her sudden death. The last para was really emotional for when Emmy died so suddenly infront of his father. After many prayers they have been gifted with Emmy, and she died so suddenly, leaving her parents in sudden despair. Regards, Reem Anu!🤍✨"
A Promising Start with a Powerful Foundation
" Your story is a gem, and I'm genuinely impressed with the potential it holds. The most striking element is the authentic and heartwarming bond you've built between the parent and child. That palpable love and connection is the bedrock of your narrative, and it's what will keep readers invested. Room for Growth and Deeper Exploration While the foundation is strong, the story feels like it's just getting started. To elevate it from good to great, I'd encourage you to expand on the world and characters you've created. Give us more background and history. What led them to this point? What challenges have they faced, and what are their deepest hopes and fears? A richer backstory will make their current struggles even more meaningful. With Emmy being a 14 Year-old teenager, there's so much more to explore. Don't shy away from incorporating classic teen drama. The natural tension between Emmy's desire for independence and her parents' overprotective nature due to her illness is a goldmine for conflict. Think about the small, intense moments: a slammed door, a whispered argument, or a quiet, heartbreaking moment where Emmy feels her illness is a cage. Most importantly, I want to feel what it's like for Emmy to live with her disease. Don't just mention it; immerse us in her perspective. Show us her longing to be a normal teenager and the simple things she misses out on. Describe the sterile hospital smells, the endless appointments, and her silent envy of other kids. This deeply personal perspective will make her struggles relatable and her journey powerful. Final Thoughts: The Potential for Something Special The story ends just as things are getting interesting, and you have a great opportunity to add more drama and plot twists. A secret from the past, a misdiagnosis, or a new character could test their bond in unexpected ways. For inspiration on exploring the emotional landscape of illness and longing, I highly recommend reading I Fell in Love with Hope if you haven't already. Overall, your story has immense potential. You have a great foundation; now, give yourself the space to develop the plot and the characters' backstories. I'm excited to see where you take this next! "
