Hey, why are you naked?

What would you do if you found a completely naked person standing outside your door?

It was an ordinary morning when I was about to go to uni.

I opened the door and…

— Wo-oh!

On one hand, I wanted to exclaim a startled “oh!”, but since the naked guy had a damn good body, the ridiculous “oh” mixed with an enthusiastic “wow” and resulted in a meaningless “wo-oh”.

He was blocking my path. I couldn’t pretend everything was okay and just walk past him. But not wanting to continue looking like a total moron by staring at him silently, I said the only thing I had in my head:

— Hey, why are you naked?

I must admit that he looked at me as surprised as I looked at him. As if I had violated all reasonable decency by coming out of my own house and in my own clothes. The nerve!

— Why?

Yeah, why. Why, no matter how hard I tried to look at his face, my eyes kept sliding down to his chest and abs.

Also — why was he so good-looking? Broad-shouldered, tall, slender, every muscle is an inspiration for a sculptor. Swimmer? Athlete? Ancient god?

And then I thought to myself: if I had a body like that, I’d damn well go naked too!

It’s not a crime. It is a sin to hide it!

But I didn’t say it. Moreover, our conversation hopelessly stalled.

Out of awkwardness, I turned around in my apartment as if I’d forgotten something — my keys, my phone — at which point the guy asked:

— What is this place?

I answered, without thinking at all:

— Planet Earth, buddy. Solar system. What star did you fall from?

But then I realized that something was wrong in his question, something important was missing. Only at his next sentence did I understand what it was.

— My star is called Veita.

There was a sound missing! He spoke without a voice, not even his lips moving.

Stop. From what star?

— Ah… do you understand me? — I asked, my eyes fluttering open.

— You do, — he answered aloud and nodded vigorously. And then he added silently: — I understand everything, but I can’t speak your language. You have spoken too few words.

— How can I understand you? — My mind may be dull, but it is inquisitive.

— Your brain itself turns my thought forms into words, just as my brain turns yours into words. That’s why we understand each other easily.

— No, wait, — I persisted. — What about the name of the star? What did my brain translate? Maybe in your language it sounds like “quack, quack, quack”, and my brain translated it into a beautiful name. Is that right?

— No. Your brain only transforms the terms it knows but leaves the names and titles as they sound in my native language.

— I see, — I nodded. — That’s kind of how it works with foreigners.

I stood for a couple of seconds, thinking, propping my chin with my hand, and finally, opening my door wide, I said solemnly:

— Come in!

I was sure of two things: first, I would not go to uni today, and second, the day promised to be exceptionally interesting!

But I didn’t realize how much…

---

Author's notes:

And that’s how Alex ended up with a naked stranger in his living room. Totally normal day, right?