Chapter 1
Chapter One
Leaves trembled on the branches before breaking free, drifting into the grass or onto a nearby grave. Above, the grey sky darkened further, then burst open, unleashing ropes of rain that grew heavier with every passing second. It was almost as if the heavens themselves intended to drive the white coffin, lowering into the damp soil, deeper into the black earth where so many had already found their rest.
Cold drops lashed the oak with such force that even the priest was forced to raise his voice, struggling to make his prayer for the departed heard. His consoling words mingled with the rumble of thunder and the restless hiss of rain, forming a melancholy symphony of grief.
From the crowd came a sob.
A quiet, desperate sob that almost at once broke into a painful fit of crying.
Hannah raised her head, her gaze fixed on the man before the coffin. Was he crying? If he was, she couldn’t tell. He stood there motionless, rain streaming from his dark hair across a strikingly handsome face, vanishing somewhere into the folds of his well-tailored coat. His vacant stare remained fixed on the hollow of the grave, as though he had already made peace with all the things that could not be changed, could not be saved.
He was exactly as she remembered him.
Memories surged through her mind, and she realised that even across the gulf of time and distance that had kept them apart, his essence had not changed. He was still the silent observer of the world—always seeming a step ahead, yet somehow forever beyond her reach.
Whenever she found herself near him, a rush of anxiety and conflicting emotions overwhelmed her. She longed for him to notice her, and at the same time feared the moment he might.
Suddenly thunder cracked above the mourners, sharp and menacing, and several cried out in fright. To her surprise, even he lifted his eyes briefly to the sky, as though the sound had pulled him from some heavy dream. Hannah stepped back, drawing her coat tighter around herself—perhaps to guard against the relentless rain, or perhaps to escape the fleeting glance of the man she had once known.
Even the priest faltered for a moment, as though to ensure his congregation still followed him, before carrying on with renewed urgency, each word sounding like the last thread binding the living to the dead.
And when the final psalm was spoken and the gathering dismissed, Hannah made her way to the cemetery gate without a single glance back. The rain had eased, yet it lingered with that insistent drizzle that seeps beneath your clothes, chilling you until you can think of nothing but sinking into a hot bath.
Her attempt to reach the car quickly was thwarted by the merciless weather. The wind toyed with her umbrella like a paper kite until she gave up and folded it away. The ground was covered with puddles she could scarcely avoid; water seeped into her shoes no matter how carefully she stepped. At last she stopped trying to dodge them and simply walked straight through.
All she wanted was to be far from here…
She searched her handbag for the keys, but they eluded her, and as if in mockery the rain began to fall harder again. She cursed aloud, if only to ease the weight inside her chest.
“Hannah?” A voice she knew too well.
She froze mid-motion, stiffening like a statue just completed—or perhaps abandoned halfway. She did not turn. Her eyes followed the grey clouds racing across the sky, chasing each other into the unknown.
“Hannah, is that you?”
Slowly she drew in a breath and clenched her eyelids shut.
She did not want to see him—not now.
She did not want to return to the past.
And she certainly did not want to save anyone.
Never again.
When at last she looked into his face, her heart pounded as if it were the very first time she had seen him.
Hours later, Hannah stood once more in Anna’s bedroom, unchanged since the days of their youth. The past had returned, and here she was again in a place where memories awoke like trees in spring.
As though they had slipped back in time without ever touching a dial…
How many times had she sworn it would be the last? And yet she always ended up here. Her eyes settled on the white wooden bed across from the window. The rain had stopped, and golden sunlight streamed through the glass, spilling across the pale pink blanket. Dust motes floated lazily in the wide beam of light, while from below came the clatter of dishes and a chorus of voices.
A bitter sigh escaped her as she remembered the day she had confided in Anna about the boy she liked, the two of them sprawled on this very bed watching the latest episode of Beverly Hills 90210. Back then, everyone seemed to love the show so much that they would abandon their games outside and race home, desperate not to miss a single moment. Hannah and Anna had been no different. Here on this bed, they whispered their secrets and promised each other that summer would be unforgettable.
For Anna, it truly had been.
“Did you really mean to skip the wake? To miss the last farewell to Anna?” Adam’s voice cut through her thoughts.
Hannah resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Instead she cast him a weary glance before quickly looking away, pretending to be more interested in the world beyond the window. She knew he had been watching her all along, but she waited for him to break the silence.
After all, she had no desire to reach out to him.
It always ended the same way.
“How many times have we stood at her wake?”
She shrugged, not expecting an answer. It was no question, only a tired truth spoken aloud.
“I’ve lost count…” he murmured, defeated.
And here we are again, Hannah thought bitterly. She closed her eyes, pressing her fingers to the bridge of her nose as though she might calm the pulse of anger that had gathered in her over the years.
“I won’t go back,” she said suddenly, her voice firm.
“What?” His surprise was genuine.
“I will not return to the past to save Anna. Don’t you understand?” Her voice rose, sharp with fury. “Maybe this is simply how it must be. Every time we prevent a tragedy that takes her life, in another thread of time she dies again. Perhaps death is her destiny, and I refuse to waste my precious days running back and forth through the past just because you cannot accept what cannot be changed!”
“Hannah, I only—” he began, taking an unconscious step toward her.
“Enough!” she cut him off, stepping back. “If you want to save her, you’ll have to go back alone.”
With that she turned on her heel and slammed the door behind her before he could speak again. She hurried to leave Anna’s house as quickly as she could, but apparently not quickly enough. Adam still had the audacity to call after her with the one line that made her want to claw his eyes out.
A line that echoed past, future, and present alike.
“See you later!”
Hannah shook her head in disbelief. Had she been younger, she might have answered with a raised middle finger, but now it seemed far crueller to leave him standing there with nothing at all.
No reply. No final glance of mercy. For when you turn your back on someone, it means they no longer matter—you are telling them they are neither good enough nor important. And that was precisely the feeling Hannah wanted him to carry.
She knew it well.
Once, he had given it to her.
“No… never again,” she whispered, more to herself than to anyone else, while Adam stood watching as she climbed into the car and drove away without the faintest hint of farewell.
Somewhere deep inside him, a sharp ache announced yet another loss.
