What is your opinion?
I loved how engaging and heartfelt your story is
"Nicely written the story keep it up "
A beloved trope
"Arranged marriage to someone super impressive and rich/cold and distant is a beloved trope with readers. I'm no exception. It only has three chapters out so I can't say much. There's a strong premise, but the writer neglects to answer obvious questions. Like why didn't Ria look for her real parents in the last eight years? Maybe this is still coming but it made me feel a little confused. Chronology quickly becomes an issue. Consider that the author went from Ria being 13 to 18 to 22(?) in the span of three chapters. This on its own would have been fine but then the author flashes back to talk about Ria meeting Florence. So you have time jumps and flashbacks, making the story tricky to follow. Plus this isn't even the first flashback. Having two in the span of three chapters will confuse readers. I appreciate the story the writer wants to bring to life. I write this with the intent to assist as an outside perspective, nothing else. I think this has potential. People love a love after marriage she didn't necessarily want love story... But as it is I can easily see readers dropping this just because of how it's structured. That's why it lost a star for me. The plot itself is great. Ria is easy to like and want to root for. Less flashbacks(keep things in order as much as possible. Believe me, readers don't like flashbacks) and a little more details(like is her father dead? Why does she say she hopes he is watching? If you're intentionally leading the reader into these questions, answer them sooner rather than later before it creates confusion). Hope this review is helpful to the author as well as someone thinking of reading. It's important to know I do like the story. I think this is just a new author, trying to figure things out. That's okay. Please keep writing. "
