Chapter 1
Goodmorning Roxy please wake up it’s not the end of the world “ my best friend Quiana shake me as I bury my head in the pillow the last thing I want is towake up and face the world how I wish I could just go to sleep and never wakeup maybe I would get the chance to meet my family again..
I shake myhead refusing to let my head go to that moment I sit and face my friend “ whywake up Qui “
“ it’s notthe end of the world and if you ask me I would tell you that I’ve seen itcoming he was just a piece of shit you were blinded by love to see it “ she tryto reason with me but i don’t want to believe it Mike was everything to me
“ I love him from the bottom of my heart you all say how horrible he is but there issomething to him that you don’t get he was there when I needed him we’ve beentogether for half of my life he knows me and I know him we understand eachother ………” I look at my friend with teary eyes it’s been a week since I’ve seensave the date of my boyfriend with another woman yes you head right save thefuckin date
“ maybe youwere never meant to be maybe he was not yours you need to get your lifetogether he is living his best life he is getting married on Saturday he isenjoying life and you are just here crying yourself to sleep smelling like shitdo you really think he cares? Did he call you ? Did he even wants to check onyou “ I know Quiana is losing it she is been patient with me the whole week butshe doesn’t understand I sigh get up walk to the bathroom
I take avery long shower I stare at myself in the mirror I couldn’t even recognizemyself how am I going to move forward who is going to love me after all these maybeI don’t even deserve love am not even that beautiful I can tell it myself Nikeis the only man I’ve ever been with I don’t want to start over I don’t havethat confidence what will any guy follow on me I don’t have anything I’ve beenlucky Mike liked me I stare at myself and get an idea…….
I rush tomy room put in my tight leggings and matching sport bra I was in a rush
“ where areyou going ……” Quiana ask me walking back in my room she watch up and down
“ am goingto the gym you wanted me to get out right “ I ask her putting on my shoes andwalk out
“ can I canalong “ she ask I can tell that she is being suspicious
“ no Iwanna blow some steam Qui I will call you after “ I walk out before I can saymore I walk until I know she can not see me through the window and take a tax Igive it the address where am going and finger cross them pray to myself
I get tohis apartment I stand outside I’ve been to this house more than I can everimagine and here I am being afraid to even enter I walk to his door and standoutside I don’t know if I should knock
This is abad idea maybe I should call Quiana I know she will talk me out of this “ youwill never know if you don’t try what there to lose “ my kind is playing jokeson me “ the worst that could happen already happened “ I hear myself knocking
I standthere chewing on my nails I hear the door open I look up find the big eyes thatI’ve always find beautiful staring at me with chock in them
“ Roxannawhat are you doing here “ he pull me inside looking left and right making surethat no one saw me coming here
“ wow “ Icross my hands together I look at him with disgust how the hell does he treatme as if am an intruder just a few days ago we were having sex here him moaningJuly name and now here checking that no body saw me as if am a criminal
“ let’s notdo this what are you doing here you know Alice can find you here and it willcause me trouble “ he say trying not to get mad “ please just leave Roxanna idon’t know what to say to you “
“ why didyou do this to me …….. mike I love you too ……. “ I try to control myself not tocry but I can feel tears forming in my eyes I turn around running fingers in myhair
“ myparents arranged this marriage for me and I can’t say no I have to go back homeand get married to Alice I know it’s hard but please Roxanne try to understand“ he try to pull me I raise my hand up
“ don’ttouch me “ I warn him he sigh look at me
“ I didn’twant see you because you know I hate it when you cry “ he wipes the tears thatare falling down my face
“ then dosomething about it don’t make me cry please Mike I love you “ I say betweentears he pull me to his chest my favorite place in this world I let all myselfout and cry he hold me tight as I cry
“ am sorry“ he apologize but that seem to make me cry harder I pull myself from him
“ if youreally loved me you would fight for me in which century do you think we areliving in “ I ask him how can he tell me that the marriage is arranged “ youalways told me not to worry about her that she was just your friend “ I turnaround standing in one place feel like it’s too much i don’t want to walkaround I don’t want to sit or stand everything I stop much I feel my chestgetting tight I close my eyes
I know amhaving panic attack I close my eyes and count my breath I sit there when I cameback to my senses I find myself sitting on his laps every time I had panicattack he knew how to make me feel batter holding me like a baby I always feelsafe in his hands
I stand upquickly “ so this is it you are just giving up like that after all these years aftereverything all the promises you gave me means nothing so it’s over just likethat “ I ask hoping he could tell me that it’s a joke but the way he is lookingat me I can tell that he is done
His phonethat is on the table start ringing and I pick on it it’s a number saved in likemy Queen wow I wait for him to pick it up he doesn’t
The phonerings again he pick it up
“ hey can Icall you later baby “
“Yeah yeahI know give me just a few minutes I will came for you “ he hung up wow I lookat him I shake my head it’s really done he place his phone back on the table
“ don’tmake this harder Roxanna “ he say looking at me I take my phone and call hisnumber it’s rings surprisingly my phone number is no longer saved in his phone
