Chapter 1
Im not crazy. Im not poor. Im not gay. I love myself. The lies I must tell myself everyday just to get through another wasted life of just judgement and sorrow.
Im kung jun, yes Im American with a asian name dont ask because I dont know the reasoning either. My mom died when I was 3 and I never met my dad so my grandma raised me, but she died 3 years ago from today. My birthday. Im 15 now and this is also the 3 year anniversary of the woman who raised me death. August 17 The day I used to love most now is just a reminder of how worthless my life is becoming.
Though even so its my birthday I do not go out with friends because I do not have any. I do not celebrate with family because I do not have any. Im a.highschool student who has been alone since they were 13 and has no friends or family. I have a part-time job at night and school in the day. My teacher has asked me multiple times to join a club or do some extra curricular for school to help with more college choices for my future. I once joined the track and feild team I was always the best of all the schools but since my grandmothers death I haven’t step foot on the track since.
Today is the first day back to school, my second year at Gyeongdong high school. As I enter the school that I have known my whole life, seeing the faces of people who I know but dont talk to because they dont know me. Ever since I was young I have always been a shy kid, never talked much. I didn’t have any friends I mainly just focused on my studies, I geuss thats why I always have the top grades in the school.
The whole school is filled with freshly paint smell since they repainted the whole school over the summer. I go to class I follow along with the lecture from the teacher, then usually during lunch I would go to the library because their is a group of kids who has always messed with me calling me a mute and weird for sticking to myself. So I wouldn’t ever eat I would just go to the library to write. A passion that has been helping me with everything, writing is where I can just vent all my troubles and tell storys with my imagination.
Today though was different as I entered class sat in my new seat I realized that the group of kids that would bully me were quiet and just kinda of sitting in their seats waiting for the teacher to start class. Which is different because usually they would be around the school or the classroom messing with some kids or something but today is different.
I happen to hear the two girls who are sitting behind me talk about the bullys saying that the reason they are not messing with no one and are really quiet is because apparently the boy they bullied last year committed suicide last night leaving a note saying how he could not bear getting bullied anymore in school. I’ve seen them bully that kid a few times. I also would get bullied by them so I know how he felt.
The teacher came into class and made an announcement on our deceased classmate we had a moment of silence in respect for him and his family. Then started class, as usual the lessons went by with a breeze for me but a boy rushed into class apologizing for being late which he was indeed quite late by 46 minutes but I have never seen such a handsome boy in our school. I didn’t know we were having a new student I thought as the teacher introduced him to the class “Minato” then assigned him his seat. I heard the girls behind me sneakering on how cute he is and he is quite handsome “Minato” the new student he is 15 he transferred from a school in japan. I wonder why he left Japan to come to Korea.
During lunch the library is closed for renovations so I have to sit in the cafeteria at a table by myself until for some reason Minato came up to me sat infront of me and starts talking “Hi, can I sit here with you?” “Sure” I replie because im actually glad someone is actually talking with me but also im anxious. Minato the new kid, the new handsome kid is sitting with me. “Are you okay? You look slighly red.” I geuss I am getting pretty hot from being so anxious “yeah im ok its a little hot in here thats all” I was lying, but I couldn’t say why I was actually turning red “lets go outside I hear its a pretty day.”
As we head outside I noticed Minato has his ears pierced “ you have your ears pierced?”
“ yes me and my brother got them done together during summer, they suit me right?”
“I didnt know boys got their ear pierced let along the school dress code allowing the doing so”
*Minato snickers* “its alright since my hair cover my ears unless there is wind I wont get in trouble”
After his says that I realized how much time has past “we have to head back or we will be late”. As we walk to class a boy ran up to Minato, I never thought that anyone could be more handsome then Minato until I seen him. “Minato! Bro this school is so fun, whos this? Already making friends thats new. Well im glad your finally getting more social experience rather than just being by yourself.” this boy knows Minato, but how he just moved here? “Sheon its not polite to not introduce yoursef, now we have to go before we are late”
. As we enter the classroom the teacher says he has a announcement “The school will be holding a grand welcoming back to school festival, all students are invited. Tickets will be sold before school at the front doors in the morning.” People start talking about what they think the school has plan for the festival and who they would ask to go with.
“ Has your school done something like this before, is it usually fun”. Our school has had many festivals I never went to them though because I never had anyone to ask to go with. “Yes, but i never attended “
“I see, so you dont like being around alot of people do you?” Before I get to explain the teacher starts his lecture so Minato goes back to his seat.
After class as im packing up I looked over to Minato sleeping seems he might have slept through the whole lecture. Gosh he’s cute when sleeping, he looks so peaceful until the boy from earlier walks in and interupts his sleep scaring him half to death it seems “GOSH! Sheon i cant sleep without you scaring me”
“your class is over dummy, come on im hungry lets go to the store.” I was still staring at Minato, I feel like a fan. Never seen such two handsome boys, I still dont know anything about this mystery boy just his name “Sheon”. Minato catchings me staring “Hey! Kung jun wanna hangout?” - Before I can answer Sheon interrupts “ yeah, lets all hang out I wanna get to know my brothers new and first friend” Brother? So they are brothers. That makes since on why their both handsome but Minato’s first friend? Can’t be right he’s such a cool guy.
“Sheon you can’t just invite youself, wanna hang though Kung Jun”
“Yeah I can hang out today”
“ great lets go im starving, I geuss you can come to Sheon”
As we leave the school sheon and minato are talking about where to eat they ask me my favorite spot since they just moved here, I told them I dont have a spot because I dont go out. “Dang, its ok we will find a place to eat. Not just any place the best place EVER!” Sheon seems like a very exited person and talks alot, different from Minato. Ive notice me and Minato have alot incommon he doesn’t talk much and doesn’t hang out with people except his brother that is where we are different since I don’t have any siblings.
After we were finished eating at a barbecue bar we headed our separate ways. As walking alone in the dark street by myself I started thinking about how Minato and Sheon are brothers they are both so different. Minato is so quiet, shy, and he really keeps to himself but is fun if you really get to know him. Sheon is very loud and outgoing he was so excited for eating with us tonight.
I finally arrive home, alone as always no one to ask why I have come so late. Just me, so I shower and head straight to bed until morning for a new day once again.
School, I never did bad in school Im a very smart student and was also athletic. Teachers and students all loved seeing me succeed until my grandma died, I let myself go after her death and never picked myself back up. At this moment I feel different for school though some sort of readiness, maybe it’s because I have someone to talk to “Minato”.
My morning shower I usually sing in the mornings to put me in a britgher mood. My favorite song by Stray Kids “Gone Days”. Until my bathroom doors opens and Sheon walks in. “Heyyy, bro nice singing you gonna be the next k-pop singer?” He says sarcastically while laughing at my singing.
“How did you even get in and why are you here!?” Im currently standing in my shower behind the curtain just wondering how he got in and wheres Minato also. “Oh, sorry man I wanted to walk with you to school and your front door was unlock.”
“So you just walk in other peoples houses without permission?” As I finished my sentence he pulled back the curtain before I could even react. Why would he do that!? Then he proceeds to throw a towl at me. “Here man dry off before we are late.” He leaves the washroom so I quickly get dry off and dressed so we can leave for school. “Great come on drama queen we gotta go” He grabs my hand and we run out the door. “Wheres Minato?” I have to ask because why did Sheon come without Minato. “Oh, do you not want to see me rather see my brother?”
He sounds serious while asking me, I dont understand why he is asking me this. I just met Sheon and Minato yesterday. “No its just I want to know why you came and he didn’t.” He swings his arm around my shoulder while we are walking. He smells like the ocean but not this fish smell the good smell. “Ah Minato is sick so he didn’t come today. I think it’s because that food from last night. Hey wanna come over after school I wanna show you stuff and you can see Minato since your so close.”
He sounds sarcastic but I do want to see if Minato is okay. “sure I’ll come over after”. We finally reach school so me and Sheon have to walk separately now because he is a grade above so he is on the other side of the school “Bye little soph” Thats Sheon’s new nickname for me its short for “sophomore” I dont know why he has a nickname for me and should I have one for him. Does he have one for Minato. I need to stop overthinking and go to class.
In class I could not focus, my mind has been thinking all morning since Sheon stopped by my house. Replaying the moment in the washroom. It was so embarrassing, why am I embarrassed he’s the one who enter my home. I should not be embarrassed at all. I need to focus on the lecture. Before I can even try to focus the bell rings and school is over. I didn’t pay attention at all.
Sheon runs in with such a smile on his face as he runs in the wind blows his hair back I saw his ear piercings him and Minato both have, he has some sweat on his forhead from gym class. I need to stop thinking this way. “Hey soph ready to go, let me buy you something to eat your skinny”. He is right I am quite skinny. “Sure but I can pay for myself.”
“No I want to let me, ok soph” He throws his arm over my shoulder once again he doesn’t smell like the ocean no more since he just left gym class. As we leave school Sheon looks so happy and energetic Not sure why but Sheon is such a happy person.
“So kung where you wanna eat. Hm do you like teriyaki?”
“Yeah teriyaki is good”
So we start walking to the teriyaki place down the street from the school all of the sudden a biker flys by almost knocking me off my feet until I feel someone grab me. Sheon caught me before I could fall on the ground. My eyes meet his eyes. His eyes are are dark brown with a little yellow swirl in one of them how unique. It seems we’ve been making eye contact forever until he lifts me up back on my feet. “You ok kung?”
I nod my head but really I wasnt as I started to walk I tripped a little over my ankle. “You rolled your ankle when you fell” Sheon picks me up by my feet and sarts carrying down the street to the teriyaki place. “You dont have to carry me Im ok” He ignores what I say and keeps walking. I looked at him as he carrys me, hes so handsome I didnt realize it while I was lost in my thoughts staring at him but he looked at me.
“what you staring at do I have something on my face?” I quickly look away but then looked back because he actually did have something on his face before thinking I raised my hand to wipe of what was on his cheek. His skin is so soft, we make eye contact once more while Im wiping it off his face. “Why is your face so red?”
I didn’t know that my blushing was so visible. Why am I blushing? “Its hot thats all. Look we are here you can put me down now.” He slowly puts me down but I still have to lean on his shoulder which he has to slouch down a little because he is taller than me.
“Hey kung you know your short but in a good way. Funsize.” I start blushing again but this time its from embarrassment. “Don’t be embarrassed its cute”. Is Sheon flirting with me? Am I overthinking this? Cute?! He called me cute?! Why?
“Hey lets sit here”. He helps me in my seat and starts ordering for us both, he looks so magical just ordering the food as the sunset from the window shines on his glistening skin. “Hey funsize its gonna take a little bit they said is that ok?”
Funsize? Another nickname? “Yeah that’s okay” as we wait Sheon talks about his day and how much he likes this school rather than his. After the food gets to the table we both start eating Sheon doesn’t talk no more as he shoves the food into his mouth seems like hes be starving all day.
When we are done Sheon pays the bill and helps me walk out the door. My ankle does hurt really bad. “Hey kung sit on this bench and let me look at you ankle ok.” He sits me down on the bench and takes my shoe off to get a better look at my ankle.
“ I think you broke it, I’ll take you to the hospital for a x-ray.” I really didn’t want to bother sheon this much. “No its okay. You should get back home to Minato.” Instead of agreeing with me he picks me up and starts walking. “I’ll call him but your going to a hospital no excuses”
As we walk to the hospital he ask me to grab his phone from his pocket to call Minato. I can barely reach his phone from the angle I’m at but I get it and find Minatos contact the phone starts ringing then Minato answers. “Hey Sheon where are you?”
“No its me Kung jun I’m with Sheon now we are heading to the hospital I think I broke my ankle. How do you feel?”
“Oh, I’m feeling better just morning sickness from last nights food. Tell Sheon not to be to late.” He hangs up the phone. “He said not to be home to late.” “Okay thanks can you hold it for me, we are almost there.” He says as he proceeds to carry me to the hospital. How is he holding me the whole way there. “Are you not tired?”
“not one bit funsize”
Before I realize we are already at the hospital and Sheon is sitting me down in a wheelchair for the nurse. “Hey sleepy head finally awake?”
Did I really fall alseep in his arms while he was carrying me, I’m so embarrassed. “Oh, sorry I didn’t know I was that tired”
The nurse starts pushing me down the hospital hallway to the room where the Doctor will examine my ankle.
“Kung jun are you okay you seem pale and sweaty”
I geuss I forgot to mention I have a huge fear of hospitals and that probably the reason why I’m so pale. “I have a fear if hospitals and Doctors.”
We finally enter the room and the nurse says it will only be a moment for the doctor to come in. As the nurse leaves Sheon sits beside me wraps his arm around my shoulders which was actually very comforting. “Don’t worry soph I got you”
I didn’t move away from Sheon because I was afraid of hospitals. The doctor finally comes in and examines my ankle says it is a clear break and will need to wear a cast for awhile. The doctor leaves the room saying he needs to grab a few things while he is gone I didn’t even realize that me and Sheon were holding hands.
So I let go of Sheons hand by pretending to stretch then the doctor comes back and places the cast on my ankle. As the doctor has finshed my cast I am given a pair of crutches that I will be using for the next three months, as me and Sheon leaves the doctor Sheon suggest that he calls Minato to pick us up since I’m in crutches now.
So, me and Sheon are sitting out infront of the hospital waiting for Minato, the night sky is clear and the moon is full the setting is just beautiful for some reason in this moment I begin to cry I’m not sure why but I feel so emotional and embarrassed until Sheon starts speaking to me in the calmest most soothing angel like voice I’ve heard. “Kung it’s ok. It’s going to be ok. I’m here, I will take care of you. Do not cry no more.” Sheon then hugs me so I then start to cry even more, how embarrassing. “I’m sorry sheon” Im not entirely sure what I am apologizing for but I felt the need to. Sheon doesn’t reply though he just hugs me tighter until Minato arrives, Sheon then helps me into the car, and sits in the back seat with me while Minato drives us home.
