Chapter 1
It was another quiet dinner with my dad, mom and I sitting at the table in complete silence. My parents were completely content with just being in each other’s presence, not a word spoken between them.
Me on the other hand? I didn’t like it much.
No talking went on in this house, only the absolute necessary conversations were held. Otherwise? It was quiet, just like now.
My parents weren’t abusive and I knew they held nothing against me. They just weren’t the talky kind of people. At all.
I quickly finished my dinner, not a fan of the odd silence and went up to my room. I sometimes wondered why I even bothered to eat near them knowing that it’d be just the same as all the times before it, but I still always tried anyway.
I stopped trying to start conversations a long time ago though. The embarrassment of the talking ending in a maximum of a minute was never worth the small hope that we’d actually share a nice moment together.
I looked around my room, sighting my laptop and starting my homework. I spent the majority of my life, not counting school, in this room. It was convenient and everything I needed was here. I’d rather go over to my best friend’s house, Jamie’s, but his parents were much stricter than mine so I was never allowed over there and Jamie wasn’t allowed over here.
What fun.
I finished my homework, the clock high up on my wall telling me it was near 10 P.M.. I considered texting my other friend, Pierce, just to have something to do, but he usually put his Little, Kai, to bed at this time if he was regressed so I didn’t want to interrupt the process. Especially with the tantrums Kai sometimes had. I chuckled, remembering the time Kai started throwing plates around. Their actual friendship was a little tight after that.
Kai, being the hilarious kid he was, told Pierce things through me, which I found completely unnecessary. However, I wasn’t going to not indulge him and might have sent some funny false information across, but it helped their relationship, so I’d call that a win.
The days went by in the same pattern they always did. I’d get ready, go to school, hang out with Jamie, Pierce and Kai, go home and it was back to dead silence until the next day.
Sometimes, Pierce would invite me over and I’d help take care of Kai when he was in littlespace. I couldn’t help but notice how close they were to each other, but my life also had its perks which was structure. I could always plan my day in the schedule I always had and nothing would interrupt it because my parents haven’t called me to do anything new in years. I did a few chores, made dinners every other day and that was not going to change any time soon.
After school one day, Jamie randomly told me that I could come over. I was shocked, but I’d already finished my work, so the sudden change in my schedule wouldn’t be too bad.
Would have liked it if he told me like a day or two in advance or something.
“Text your parents to tell them that you’re coming over.” Jamie suggested as we were walking to his house.
I looked at him confused. Why would I need to do that? They knew I was safe so why would I need to bother them by telling them where I was going?
“That’d be dumb. They have enough to worry about,” I replied, rolling my eyes.
“You don’t tell them anything before you go somewhere?” he asked, slightly shocked.
So, if I was just going over to someone’s house, I’d stop whatever my parents were doing just to tell them that? That was quite absurd.
I shook my head and he didn’t press on it. When we got to his house, he opened the door with his key. His mom was inside and he immediately greeted her with a hug. I was just mesmorized by how big his house was.
I never knew Jamie was rich! He never mentioned it.
“Hi, you’re Zachary, aren’t you?” his mom said, throwing a kind smile my way. I nodded, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot from her stare.
“Hey, I made lunch for both of you. Come with me?” she said, walking to the dining room.
I followed her and Jamie, taking in every detail of their house. It looked so.....homey.
Well, duh it was a house, Zach. Of course, it’d look like a home.
Entering the dining room, there were three plates of food. I guess his mom will be with us too.
I sat next to Jamie and his mom was on the other side of the table.
“So, Zach,” his mom said, smiling at me, “how are your studies going?”
“Good?” I said, wondering why she was even asking. “I go there. I learn. I go home.”
“Right, yes,” she said, chuckling a bit. “How are your parents doing?”
Why was she asking? She obviously couldn’t care much about some kid she just met that she might never meet again. Maybe she was a small talker, perhaps?
“They’re doing fine,” I said, not really knowing what else to say.
You’re being absolutely pathetic, Zach. Come on, you can do better than that.
I wracked my brain for something to say about them, but I barely even knew what their jobs were about, and describing what they looked like would just sound stupid. “My dad watched a cool movie yesterday.”
“Oh really? What was it about?”
I had absolutely no idea. I never watched the movies with him. Sitting beside either of my parents just felt odd, so whenever he used the TV, I just stayed in the kitchen or my room.
“Oh uh, it’s been a bit, so I don’t remember all the details,” I said, mentally facepalming at my piss-poor excuse.
“Something that only happened yesterday? Alright,” she replied, laughing again.
Was I funny or something? Clearly I was doing something horribly wrong.
“Hey, enough about that,” Jamie thankfully said, “we have to start working on that assignment we got for Family Studies.”
Oh yeah, that. I hated that class. The teacher who taught the course was a complete lunatic who said the weirdest things on earth.
Like that one time he said that families usually go on trips and outings together at least once every few weeks. Like what parent would want to spend even more time and money than necessary with their kid?
“I think it’ll be better for the both of us if you just do the thing and I add a few things here and there,” I suggested, my mood darkening just thinking about that class. “That teacher hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you, everyone loves him, but you.”
“Well, clearly they all have problems,” I said, scowling.
“I can help you if you need, Zach,” his mom said, packing up all the plates.
“You don’t need to...” I said slowly, confused on why she’d even offer.
“Well, if you’re struggling with an assignment, I don’t see why I can’t help you. Unless you’d rather ask your own parents instead.”
The sigh I’d get in response from my parents from interrupting their day was not worth a stupid assignment and I bet Jamie’s mom didn’t actually want to help.
Then, why would she be offering? Honestly, I had no clue.
“Zach could have gotten an easy 100% in that course if he didn’t convince himself for who knows what reason that everything the man says is a lie,” Jamie said, playfully pushing me. “Like, it’s the most obvious stuff under the sun and Zach still insists on putting different answers.”
“I’m telling you, the man is lying,” I insisted, glaring at him.
“Then, why are you the only one saying it?” he pushed, smirking.
Well, I was sure that others thought the same, but they never said it.
“So, you’re telling me, that a whole adult would take time out of their day, sit their kid down and spend hours teaching them stuff they could just send a course link for? Please, be for real,” I replied. “The man is high.”
Jamie’s mom gave me an odd look. “Yes, of course a parent would do that. That’s what parenting is. Are you parents not around?”
“Of course, my parents are around. They just have better things to do,” I said. They both worked from home, so they were always around.
“Okay, so if your parents don’t teach you anything, if I may ask, what do you do with them?” she asked curiously.
“Nothing. They provide me with food and a shelter. However, I do wish we talked more often.” I said, thinking. That was the only thing I wanted really. More convos now and then would be nice.
I saw her give me a look of pity. Ah, probably because I forgot to mention something. “Oh no, I don’t do nothing with them.” She sighed in relief. “We have dinner together every night.”
She gave me an “and?” look. I stared at her, confused once again. What else was she expecting?
“If you’re saying that we should talk more, I’d agree, but what else do you want?” I said, getting frustrated. It felt like everyone in the world came to an understanding and just left me out.
“Zachary, it sounds like you’re living with roommates, not parents,” she said with a clearly more gentle tone. It was....different from the way my mom talked to me.
However, the difference between roommates and parents was obvious. I didn’t get why she’d even make such a connection. “Roommates don’t pay for your rent and cook for you sometimes.”
“My roommate did back in Uni when I was sick. She cooked for me and paid my half of the rent.”
“Okay, sure. My parents were great roommates then. What’s the problem with that?”
Jamie sighed, rolling his eyes. “See the delusions this man spins around in his head?”
“Jamie, we’re not heading there again. They’re not delusions, it’s just reality. I live with them and they provide for me. What else is there?”
“Love perhaps?” his mom added, shrugging.
Okay, that was just insane. Of course, they loved me. That wasn’t even a question. “If they didn’t love me, they wouldn’t provide for me. And, they’re just not the talky type of people. Different personalities and stuff.”
Jamie and his mom shared a look. “You know what. Let’s just do something else.”
The topic of families wasn’t brought up again and Jamie later brought me up to his room to play video games. When the evening turned into the night, I told him I was heading home and he suggested that I stay over, but I declined.
I wouldn’t want to overstay my welcome. I already got food, which was already super nice.
He walked me to the door and his mom came back, hugging me from behind. “Stay safe, kiddo, okay?” I froze, my brain shutting off.
What the hell. What the hell. What the hell.
She eventually let go and I just awkwardly left. I’d never been hugged before and I bet I must have done everything wrong.
That gesture was on my mind the entire walk home. Even when I woke up the next day, it didn’t leave.
Eating breakfast the next morning, I found myself wanting that again. It felt good, warm even. I looked over at my mom on the living room couch and my dad on the opposite sofa.
Yeah, not happening. Jamie’s mom was probably feeling emotional yesterday or something. Surely that wasn’t a regular thing.
And, I was right.
Jamie invited me over every day after that, but she never hugged me again and the topic of families wasn’t ever brought up again. It was like that moment never happened at all.
