The Tamer

Abe stared down at the doll in his hands, his face screwed up in a look of utter concentration. He kept his hands still as he slowly, carefully allowed the needle in his grasp to pass through the soft fabric of the doll. He ignored the beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, watching with unblinking and almost entranced eyes as the thread slowly became a smile on the incomplete doll’s face. Finally, he beamed brightly as he gazed down at the newly finished product.

It might very well be the best thing his hands had ever made and he felt the pride of a craftsman as his eyes scoured every detail of the doll. The red hair that he had painstakingly made from dyed wool he had silently gathered shined in the golden dawn sun. Painted brown eyes he had taken weeks to do properly. The small yellow dress he had handmade out of scraps from the old sheets his family could no longer use. He smiled at the product months of work had made, his mind racing through the many different things he had done to make each and every part of the doll, all for today. He had worked through the night to make it on time and he doubted he could have done any better if he had been given another month to work on it.

He chuckled to himself as his chest swelled with pride, then closed his eyes with a smile as he felt a gust of summer wind brush against his face. He could smell the pine needles and sweet honey that the wind carried to him, feeling as if it was a gift for him. He breathed it in deeply, enjoying the feeling of peace as the first beams of dawn sunlight caressed his face.

He heard the cry of cattle, stirring awake and demanding to be let into the pastures to graze. He knew that it wouldn’t be long until the farmers and their family woke up to stop the annoyed and hungry mouths of the cattle. He grinned with an uncharacteristic excitement as he knew that his own family would be waking soon and he reached for the walking stick sitting beside him. He carefully hid the doll in his bag, then hoisted himself to his feet with the help of his cane.

He slowly crept his way forward to his home village, struggling slightly with the decline of the hill he had been sitting on. He was careful on his way down, like always. Yet, despite the constant routine of being careful and moving slowly, he still felt a pang of shame push through the new pride in his chest. He cast a disgusted look back at his left leg, always dragging behind him like useless meat. It had always been with him and it always would, marking him a cripple and an outcast from his peers. He knew that he had been born with it and there was nothing he could do about it, yet there was something in him that simply could not accept the fact that he would never be rid of it. He let out a sigh as he turned his face back toward the slowly approaching village he called home, feeling the pride and excitement that the doll had given him slowly make its way back into his heart.

He stumbled his way back through the mostly empty streets, returning the few greetings that came his way from the elderly of the village. As his home finally came into view, he could feel his chest grow tight and with every beat of his heart his excitement grew more and more. He couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across his face as he ungracefully ascended the stairs to his door. He took a full minute to compose himself, forcing down his own emotions until his face was once again cut from stone, then pushed open the door to his home.

Instantly, his nose was met with the mouth watering scent of fresh eggs and bacon, causing his stomach to grumble in both happiness and impatience. He slapped his stomach with a flushed face, then coughed into his hand as he heard his mother laugh from the kitchen beside the main room. A moment later, she poked her head from the doorway and smiled warmly at him.

“Welcome back, Abe. I went to wake you, but you weren’t there. Care to explain?” His mother asked him, her warm smile fading slightly as it was taken over by a worried stare in her eyes. Abe felt a shiver run through his back, but he stood firm in his actions.

“I woke up earlier than usual, so I went to watch the sunrise on a hill.” Abe lied through his teeth, hoping that his mother would not try to pry any further. She took a moment to stare into his eyes, cocking an eyebrow at him. It was the first time he had ever had the gall to lie to her in all fifteen years of his life and he was banking hard on his reputation for honesty to keep himself from being found out. After a long, tense moment where he was sure that his mother would see through his less than stellar deception, she simply shrugged her shoulders with what looked to be an almost relieved smile.

“Very well. Just be careful on those hills. You know how bad it would be if you fell. Be a darling and go wake your sister, will you?” She threw over her shoulder as she returned into the kitchen and out of sight. Abe smiled to himself once he knew he was in the clear, feeling slightly guilty for lying but not guilty enough to come clean.

“Sure.” Abe said as his scraping footfalls made their way past the kitchen and toward his sister’s room. He looked around himself, checking everywhere around him to make sure that his father and elder brother wouldn’t disturb him, then he carefully pushed his way into the room. As he closed the door behind himself, he waited for what he could only assume to be an alarm to be raised at his entry. He let out a sigh of relief as there was no alarm and turned around to the sleeping form of his sister, laying on her bed as if she had poured onto it. Abe allowed himself a small chuckle as she snored lightly, then he made his way closer to the girl. He carefully sat himself at the foot of her bed, doing his utmost not to disturb her slumber. He moved slowly as he reached his hand into his bag and pulled the doll from it. He ran a scrutinizing eye over it, putting each woolen hair in the proper place and straightening the dress before he smiled in triumph at his presentation of the doll. It was then that a cold sweat ran through his body and he turned to the sleeping form of his sister with an unsure frown on his face.

Would she be offended at him giving her a doll? She was already nine years old and had made it clear to the entire family that she had no desire to be treated like a child anymore. He felt a wave of hesitation rush through his chest, second guessing himself at the most crucial moment. He looked sadly down at the doll, thinking that the months of work he had put into it would suddenly disappear or be made worthless in a matter of moments. He let out a sigh as he thought on what to do, then set his jaw as he decided to go through with it.

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Abe whispered to himself as he raised his cane. He tapped it firmly on the frame of his sister’s bed and watched her jump upright, her snoring instantly cut off as she looked around herself with a bewildered expression. After a moment, her eyes fell upon him, a look of utter confusion on her face. He watched her eyes harden in annoyance and her mouth open in what he could only assume to be an order for his immediate exit, but he cut her off before the words could drip from her lips.

“Happy Birthday, Mary.” Abe said as nonchalantly as he could as he thrust the doll toward her. He watched the eyes soften instantly as she stared at the doll he held out to her, though her mouth still hung open. He felt his chest squeeze with anxiety as he waited for her response, then felt relief wash over him as she slowly took the doll from him. She stared at it for a long moment, then her mouth turned into a broad grin. She beamed at him as she hugged the doll closely to her chest and nodded her head to him.

“Thank you, Abe!” She told him in a voice much like a shout, making him jump back. He returned her smile, then carefully pushed himself to his feet, making sure that his cane took the brunt of his weight.

“Mother has breakfast almost ready. Make sure to be dressed before you get there.” Abe said in what he hoped was a nonchalant voice as he struggled to keep hold of his composure, then pushed his way out into the hall. The moment he closed the door, he felt the grin he had been concealing spring onto his face with full force. He allowed himself a chuckle as he heard the girl on the other side of the door huff and grumble about him treating her like a child, then made his way back into the kitchen, where his father and brother had appeared at the table in waiting for his mother’s cooking. As he settled himself into the provided chair for him and leaned his cane against the table, his father began to speak to him.

“Good morning, Abe. Your mother told me that you left early to watch the sunrise. Take an interest in poetry, have you?” His father asked with a chuckle, treating him to a teasing wiggle of his eyebrows. His brother, Conrad, let out a snort at their father’s joke.

“Poetry, is it? Well, he can’t use a weapon with that leg of his. It might be the best way to get himself a wife.” His brother joked, turning to grin good naturedly at Abe. Abe felt a small wave of shame as his leg was mentioned, but it was quickly overshadowed by the thought of getting a wife with what talents he did have. Maybe, poetry wouldn’t be such a bad idea, but that was out of the question for now. Abe opened his mouth to retort, but his mother beat him to it.

“What a shame that must be for you, Conrad. You can’t even hold a sword by the right end and your words are as dry as a desert. Maybe Abe will be the best bet on getting us grandchildren.” His mother said as she flashed a mischievous grin over her shoulder at Conrad. Conrad’s face flushed with indignation and he began to sulk as he pressed himself back into his chair, folding his arms over his chest and glaring at his mother’s back while his father let out a booming laugh. Abe felt his own face flush, but more out of embarrassment than anger.

“See? Get yourself a wife with a quick wit, Conrad. Nothing is ever boring around them. Or, should I tell it to you, Abe?” His father said with a grin, his eyes turning between his two sons and causing both to flush even more as salt was rubbed in the newly opened wounds. Before they could continue with their less than modest conversation, Mary walked into the kitchen with a grin on her face. Abe felt a smile cross over his features as he saw that the girl was carrying the doll he had given her.

Mary made her way toward the table and sat herself in her usual spot beside Conrad, grinning over at Abe with a thankful look in her eyes as she sat the doll in her lap. The conversation from a moment before was instantly killed as all turned to see the new doll. Once again, his father was the first to speak.

“Oh, what have you got there?” His father asked as he pointed to, what was from his point of view, a red scalp. Mary beamed as she lifted the doll from her lap and sat it gently on the table, gaining the attention of all eyes in the room. Conrad instantly shot a knowing look at Abe, a small smirk on his face and Abe instantly felt as if he had been caught doing something shameful as his face turned a brighter shade of red. His father let out a delighted laugh and his mother smiled as Mary began to stroke the doll’s head, much to Abe’s silent delight.

“Well, isn’t that nice! Where did you find her?” Their mother asked as she began to place down full plates in front of each of the family members. Mary turned to grin at her and pointed toward Abe, instantly causing Abe to jump.

“Abe gave her to me!” Mary all but shouted once again, unable to control her voice due to her excitement, in the way most young children do. Abe averted his eyes to stare out of the window as he felt all eyes move toward him. He inwardly cursed the girl, then remembered he hadn’t asked her to keep it a secret, then cursed himself. He heard his father let out a small chuckle and felt his calloused palm shake his shoulder.

“My, what a nice sunrise.” His mother said with a laugh and Abe knew that his lie had completely and utterly failed him. He let out a heavy sigh as he looked at his plate, refusing to meet any of the eyes that stared at him.

“So, where did you get her, Abe?” Conrad asked, picking up a fork and skewering an egg on it. Abe bristled at the remark, huffing slightly as he took up his own fork.

“I didn’t get her anywhere. I made her.” Abe clarified, shoving some egg into his mouth as he felt a slight pulse of pride in his chest. Suddenly, the entire room went silent and he felt all the eyes on him widen at his comment. It was then that he realized that he had made a mistake. By letting them know that he had made the doll, he had opened the door to all kinds of ridicule. Not from his family, of course, but if it ever got out he would become even more of an outcast among the village youth. Well, not much more than he already was, but he would rather not make himself any more of an alien to them.

“You made her?” Mary asked in a voice of wonder, turning her face back to the doll as if she had realized it was there for the first time. Even his father and brother had looked at it with a renewed interest, while his mother seemed to be much happier with his comment. As Mary’s face turned back to him, he realized that she was waiting for his answer. Abe placed his fork back down on the table and coughed into his hand, averting his eyes from her expectant look.

“I did.” Abe clarified, his face flushing slightly as he shoved the last of his meal into his mouth. He could see Mary staring down at the doll with a look of astonishment from the corner of his eye, causing him to feel yet another wave of pride in his chest. He pushed himself up from the table, snatching his cane from its position as he stood to his full height.

“Mary, don’t take too long. I’ll be waiting outside. School starts soon, so don’t be late.” Abe announced in an attempt to keep the questions of the others at bay, then turned and quickly lurched away and out of the door, shutting it firmly behind him to dissuade anyone from stopping him for questions. He heard his family grumble slightly at his abrupt and less than polite exit and he knew that he was in the wrong, yet he could not face his own embarrassment. He allowed himself a shamed sigh as he scratched at the back of his head, wondering just when he had started to consider everything that took effort embarrassing. He pressed his back against the wall of his home, taking what little weight he had off of his bad leg. He let out a content sigh as he felt the withered and strained muscles in his leg relax. He felt a twinge of envy in his chest as he opened his eyes only to see a few of the other youths chatting away happily as they strode throughout the streets. He watched as they effortlessly stepped over or through puddles and holes that would have had him looking for another route to his destination. He felt his mouth contort into a frown as he looked down at the cane still clutched in his hand, a feeling of hot shame washing over him once again.

He wished he could just throw it away, but he knew that he couldn’t. With the cane, he could at least use his legs, more or less. Without it, he would be unable to even stand. He felt envy race through his entire being as he gripped the cane tight enough to cause his knuckles to click and he thought of breaking it, but he quickly threw that thought away. He let out a sigh as his eyes swiveled back to the road just in front of his home. He watched as a group of boys his age grinned maliciously at him as they passed by, each turning to the other to whisper among themselves. It was kind of them to at least keep their insults and comments as whispers, but it was nothing more than a courtesy. He knew what they were saying even without being able to hear their words.

The Shambler. That was what they called him behind his back and sometimes to his face. He could not run, he could not jump, he could not play or fight, and he could barely walk. He would shamble from place to place, bleakly making his way through the village and taking longer than anyone else. They had said that if anyone touched the Shambler, they wouldn’t be able to walk either, but they had recently grown out of that fearful rumor. Now, they had just taken to insulting him or harming him, knowing that he could not fight or chase after them. In a way, he had wished the rumor was still treated as fact. If they had thought that he was some sort of cursed being, they would have at least left him be. Now, everyone knew that he was nothing more than a cripple. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he always did his best to swallow it.

Lately, it seemed that everyone that used to be his tormentors had lost interest in him. If that was the case, it was certainly fine by him. Though, he did feel a tinge of worry about what was to come. It was like a storm, becoming silent right before lightning strikes. But, worrying would do nothing but cause him paranoia and he had better things to do otherwise. At least, at school, he would rarely have to deal with those that had once tormented him.

It was both a blessing and a cause of shame that he had been made to go to school. In the village, the students were the sons and daughters of merchants or craftsmen. All the sons of farmers would be working in the fields with their family. All the sons of the warriors would be apprenticing under the village soldiers. He was the son of a soldier and was meant to be apprenticing with the others as well, becoming a part of a tight knit community of men that would protect everything that their people held dear alongside his brother. However, his leg had prevented him from doing any such thing. Now, he was one of only five boys in the school, all the others having gone off to apprentice under their fathers or work for themselves. The few boys that were there treated him as an outcast all the same, knowing that he would never be able to play their games or help them in any meaningful way. The girls had grown to see him as a pitiable figure, which was nice in some ways, but he loathed them for looking at him with the same eyes as they looked at a starved hound. He felt his eyes fall upon his cane once again. It seemed that was all that everyone saw him as. He was not a man or a boy, just a cane. A cripple. Though he wished nothing more than to prove them wrong, though he had spent countless hours bettering himself in every way he could think of, it all fell back to his cane.

He wondered to himself for what must have been the thousandth time what he could do to make them see him as he truly was. As that thought made its way through his mind, the door to his home opened and Mary came out grinning, doll in hand.