Chapter 1
I have been bedridden in this infirmary for two months
and my husband has not made the effort to see me. I came down with a deadly illness. My best mate, Alexandra, is the only one who has come by and kept me company. And now as I lie here I start to get a sudden pit in my stomach, something urging me to go home, after having frequent visits every week from Alexandra she has become scarce lately and it worries me.
I weakly try to stand up, after a couple tries I am on my feet, if any of the hospice nurses were to see me surely they’d be upset, thank mother Gaia that they were out to lunch. After a very long carriage ride back to my estate I can see that someone is home, hopefully it is my husband, and I can see him after so long.
My legs feel like gelatin, and my sight is growing darker by the day. I need to get inside before I collapse out here. I walk in slowly and see a pair of women’s shoes on the floor by the entrance, as I make my way further in I see a corset lying on the floor, trousers and stockings sprawled across the floor, I hesitantly open my bedroom door. As I stand there in utter shock I see my husband..Damian lying in bed with…
Alexandra..
”What impropriety is this?!” I weakly shout.
My husband leaps up as if he's face to face with a ghost.
”Katherine!..” He stumbles trying to compose him self with his undergarments. “Y-you shouldn’t be here!”
”I shouldn’t be here? You shouldn’t be here with her, is this what you have been up to since I have been..”
Before I could finish what I was going to say I stumbled losing my balance and crashing into the bookshelf next to me. My vision is getting worse and I can barely keep myself up, my head is pounded and I can’t really think straight. As I am there lying on the ground Alexandra approaches me with Damian closely behind her. She kneels down, eye to eye with me taking a loc of my hair into her hands gently.
”Awe, poor Katherine, looks like the poison is starting to take hold.”
”Wh-wha.. poiso..” I can barely get a sentence out.
Alexandra grabs my chin guiding my face to hers.
”It’s a very slow acting one, takes almost two months to completely take effect..first you start to feel unreasonably ill then you start to lose your sight and finally..”
She poisoned me? H-how could she, we’ve been friends since we were four. Why?
”You may be wondering ‘why’ and perhaps I owe you some kind of explanation before you have completely succumbed.. Well it all started when your wretch of a mother got my father fired from your father’s business. All because he wouldn’t agree to a little engagement your mother proposed to keep their mouth quiet about an incident he had covered up in order to help one of the other employees keep their job.”
What is she..talking about.
”Your slut of a mother wanted my father to..pleasure her whenever she called upon it in order to keep her mouth shut..My father refused of course, he may not always do the right things but he would never dishonor his marriage. Since he did not comply your mother told your father what he had done and sent the story anonymously to the biggest newsletter company in the city, it destroyed his reputation, along with other rumors your parents made up to further destroy him. Since he could not provide for his family and could not get a job anywhere he..killed himself.”
That’s right, I do remember hearing of some scandal when we were younger but I never thought it was this deep, my mother, my father..were not only horrid creatures to me my whole life but to others as well, destroying them and their families. Tears started to roll down my dry, pale face.
”I found my own father dead, destroyed by your parents' lies and greed, I fell in love with Damian. Then I introduced him to you, I saw that spark in your eye and that’s when I realized my plan. I was going to have you fall in love with him, marry him so he could receive your fortune along with his, after 10 long years of pathetic marriage I decided that your wealth had accumulated quite a bit and 2 months ago I slipped something in your drink..now here we are.”
”H-How could you..I never did anything to you..my p-parents..”
I tried standing up slowly but assuredly, I tried pushing her away from me when Damian grabbed my hand and in an instant his hand flew across my face so effortlessly, knocking me back down.
I could no longer keep my eyes open, feeling myself drift away as their voices fade out, discussing their next steps.
Before I know it my eyes shoot open. I sit up and look around..I-im in my room? How could I be, didn't I just… is this supposed to be the after life. What is going on?
“Miss Katherine? Miss Katherine, you must get up now.”
I’m immediately startled by the knock on the door,
“W-who is it?”
”Uh..It’s Mable, ma’am”
Mabel, but.. she died.. 5 years ago, how could she be..My eyes turn to the mirror at my vanity, a cold sweat starts as I frantically roll out of bed. My drawn out cherry red hair stayed draped on top of my satin linen as I stood. Looking in the mirror I freak..it is me but I look much younger than before.
”M-Mabel, you said..?” I utter while still engulfed in my youthful features.
“Yes Miss, your father has summoned you.”
My father? But didn’t he and mother pass the year after Damian and I married?
“M-may I ask what for?”
“You may, albeit, I recommend you hear it from him, dear.”
“I see.”
Why does this feel so familiar..
I approach my closet and don my robe. I start diffidently in the direction of my fathers study. I’m planted in front of his door, a certain feeling of dread washes over me, with a stinging feeling of deja vu, the same feeling I have been feeling since I heard the knock on my door, it’s only grown since. I decided to open his door carefully, I may not know what is going on but one thing I know for sure is my father is still ruthless as the day I was born.
“Sir, you requested my presence?”
My father looks up from whatever he has been busy with.
“Your mother requests that you get ready immediately. Later you will depart to the Watsons for tea.”
I stare blankly for a few moments then successfully spit out a couple of words.
“F-For what sir?” I stuttered -like an absolute oaf-, frightened he’d wish to strike me. My father, Luther, arose ominously with a scowled look frozen on his face.
“You dare question your father?” He said as his voice boomed with anger.
Before I could even reply he struck me with a firm hand and I dropped to the floor in utter shock, all I did was ask a question. As my vision wanders to the floor I immediately remember something..
“F-father, what day is it?”
“Don’t tell me I hit you so hard you have gone stupid.”
”No, I just..what’s today’s date.”
Annoyed, he grabs the paper he was frantically writing on when I walked in.
”Today is October 9th 1837.”
1837? That can’t be right, wait today is the ninth, don’t tell me..this is the day..
”What are you still doing here, go to your room and freshen up.”
I stand immediately and leave without another word, it cant be. I’m..ten years in the past..? But how, that doesn’t make any sense.
”Miss, are you alright.”
Ah, I must have looked too deep into thought..
”Yes, Algernon, sorry about that, how is your morning?”
”Same as always, Miss.”
Right, our butler isn’t one for small talk. As I approached the staircase I could hear Ada and Helena, our maids, standing in my room preparing my dress, an exceedingly tight corset, and my undergarments. Whilst Violet prepped my bath, Mabel stood at the top of the staircase awaiting my return. The maids saw and knew the dreadful way I was treated at home and they sympathized with me, nevertheless I believed they felt they could do absolutely nothing about it. Which they were right.
“Miss Katherine, your bath has been drawn.”
“Thank you, Violet.”
As I slipped into the tub I couldn’t help but ask Violet, in a less than warm tone,
“Is the meeting today about an engagement with Lord Damian?”
“Yes miss, how did you know?”
“Just a feeling.”
“They want you to wed on the first Sunday of November.”
“As I suspected..” I say this in a hushed voice as to not alert Violet and the other maids in the next room.
“Did you say something, Miss?”
“It’s nothing”
Violet nods, and does not ask any further questions. Today is the day my torment starts, not that it ever ended. I can not marry Damian, not after..
Flashes of memory of what happened and the way Damian stood there snickering while Alexandra explained what they had done to me. There will be no way I will allow such a fate to consume me yet again.
The rest of the morning I paced back and forth not only dreading the seconds that approached the awaited time where I had to accompany my mother later this afternoon but also thinking of a way I could avoid this marriage, there was no way I was getting married to that crook, and there was no way I would stay in this house any longer.
How could I have been so foolish, so naively in love I couldn’t see him for what he truly was..a monster. No matter how he treats me I can never go back to that..not ever again.
My parents needed a man to be able to carry the family name in wealth. For the past century the Barlow name had been carried by many men and I was the first woman who broke that cycle when after my birth my mother could not conceive anymore so no matter what I did I never and probably will never earn my parents love, unless I marry a Watson, but as the future has already proved, I will never be worth of their love nor respect.
The Watsons have been partners to the Barlows for many years thus the closest thing to keeping the wealth in the family name would be for a Barlow daughter to marry a Watson son. In my first chance at life I was overjoyed with the idea of marrying Damian.
“The carriage is outside waiting for you Miss Barlow.” Algernon, the family butler said with a turned up nose as if he’s gotten a whiff of something unpleasant. He isn’t the nicest person you could meet, he was a bit snobby and turned his nose up at anyone who had less than a fortune.
I was hesitant to make my way down the spiral staircase that taunted my twisted life. All I could think was, how am I supposed to get out of this marriage alive? I sat in the carriage with dull eyes as I dreamt of a future where I was genuinely happy, until the carriage suddenly stopped and we were planted in front of Watson’s residence. My heart pounding in my chest, seeing the house I would spend those 10 torturess years made me nauseous, sick to the stomach. I couldn’t move.
”Katherine, get out now!” My mother’s shrill voice snapped me back to the now.
Damien and his mother, Amelia, waited for us at their doorsteps. I clenched my jaw as I watched Damien’s lips form into a smile. A flash of his facial expressions appeared in my mind from that fateful night, knowing what his and Aleandra’s plans were all along made me disgusted to even be face to face with him right now.
“Hello Katherine, it is a pleasure to see you again.” Damien says this with taunting eyes, I couldn’t reveal my disdain for him so I force myself to smile.
“Damien,” I nod in acknowledgment.
“It’s a pleasure to see you as well.”
Then that man winked at me with another taunting smile. How cold he torture me like this? I thought to myself. He acts as if he has no Idea what he is planning to do to me, all he ever did was hurt and criticize me, put his hands on me even, but I also never stopped him, every time he hurt me I never stopped him and I never let him know how much it hurt me, so if anything I suppose some of the blame is on me, I let him treat me how my parents did, and no matter how badly he treated me I stayed.
