Chapter 1
(11) The Meth Addled Cosmo-Demise Part 1
The Zodiacal Pantheon
1. My Solo Excursions
Content Warning: Graphic sexuality and drug use
Introduction to the Zodiacal Pantheon
My Solo Excursions
Itroduction to the Zodiacal Pantheon
As a rule, most people are not aware at all or barely, that everything they do, everything they choose, keeps coming back all the time..
The same things keep coming back in full circle. So much in fact, that to make an average limited life possible, with all preconceived limitations and themes, the wheel has to spin many times to cram and fill such a life with publicity.
If you ever become fully aware of this continuous state of affairs, you might very well wish to discover what are the real and actual boundaries, the options we don’t know about.
Limitations considerably reduce the scope of our perception to something from the inside of a box, veiled and filtered.
It is not possible to discover this, and more, if you are in that box
You might not make the whole experience and be able to follow the realm without undergoing a certain transformation.
It is in this respect that the zodiacal pantheon presents itself as a mechanism of reality and a tool of adjustment to the scope of our limited possibilities.
If we compare the many figures in the pantheon to the tarot, another more familiar and personalized aspect takes shape.
Instead of deities which are passing out of use, the cards represent active universal forces, and what interactions or configurations might be coming your way from the depths of the impenetrable veil.
It is designed as a necessity and a truth.
Its usefulness is indisputable though not well known, under this aspect nor much sought after.
Sometimes, maybe the right action at the right time may change the results completely or immensely alleviate others.
Our understanding is that all the mechanisms operate at random, although records abound of them being retributions and punishments.
Since there is no known way of managing our way out of calamity by having a view on further down the road, encouragement is put on fatalistic acceptance of inescapable fates.
To date only spiritual or supernatural proceedings are judged capable of changing so called “fates” if nothing else can.
The pantheon plays an important role in the accepting and understanding of physical and existential pain.
Its themes are antique and contemporary at the same time. many opposite but complimentary dualities are suggested in the quote,
-“As above, So below” attributed to Hermes Trismagistus.
Life can extend under reduced form for a long time. The value of death is further enhanced by memorials and communion.
Death is the driving force of life, the final station of “what was , what is and what won’t.”
“We endure only for a moment”
-Aztec Quote
I . M y Solo Excursions
I was tagged along on a walk one afternoon to this spot, a mere two minutes away from our flat.
Past the street corner heading downtown near the big high-school, there is a small bridge that crosses a very narrow and meandering river lined with tall trees and growth on both sides.
Stepping over the small barrier, a path awaits that leads into a short corridor of high bushes that opens up onto a grassy hill under the sky. The hill then slopes into the wooded area.
The paths serpent their way on three levels. At the very bottom, to the left from the entrance, lies the river. It continues through the sparsely wooded and sloped second level. At the top, the path follows the schoolgrounds.
It is a world hidden from sight. A wooded area and river virtually untouched , unchanged and rarely visited since primordial times.
Once inside, this is readily felt, though ambient sounds are still heard. Despite the stillness that reigns over the grounds, the preserved system is very much alive with sounds of its own.
The trees are particularly busy shedding bark and dropping cracked branches and pine cones. Black or gray squirrels cause much of the action running from tree to tree.
All kinds of birds take turns chirping different songs. A plentiful solitude takes hold.
It is also filled with thumping crashes and odd rustling that don’t reveal their source.
On the day I tagged along, it was intimate, beautiful and quiet.
One of boys broke the stillness and said these paths are quite frequently visited by all kind of women eagerly searching for a quick and passionate sexual encounter.
He pointed to a big boulder getting closer as we approached. This was on the top level, lining the schoolgrounds.
As he took a moment to rest the other day, sitting on the boulder, just a step off the path, he lit a cigarette and stared at the empty soccer field. A woman passing by quickly appeared on the path.
Without saying a word, she undid and pulled down her pants. She looked drunk, and in good spirits.
Not saying anything himself, he told us he was dumbstruck but happy.
She just sat on him and in no time, he tossed his cigarette and they started having unbridled sex right there, using the boulder in various ways.
That, I thought, is one of the least discreet places possible and not the coziest either!
As I looked around, I indeed noticed so many other perfect and quaint little places one could easily go unnoticed and well hidden from view on such occasions.
He told me, with a hand to my shoulder and a hand to his heart, moved to sincerity, that for any kind of sexual encounter, this place is legendary.
It has the reputation as being the ultimate in sexual practices of the homeless, the horny daring and the perverted.
For some reason not officially proven yet, the smell of the woods can carry at times a powerful erotic agent, capable of awakening deep sexual desire .
I was eager to go back on my own right this evening hoping, to participate in a beautiful and lengthy lustful discharge.
I securely brought plenty of crystal meth, my glass pipe, a few cigarettes and a big fat joint.
My favorite moment is getting really high before leaving. I take many big hits in a row enjoying the lingering taste and increasingly drifting away from mundane thoughts.
I love taking a few good hits of weed right after. It gets me totally stoned out of my mind, yet cool, casual and lucid. That’s how it feels. I sure hope that’s how it looks!
Anyhow, I have never felt as well nor as good on a drug before. I used to take around 10 speed pills a day.
Now I don’t . Rarely. I smoke Crystal meth instead. It brings the methamphetamine high to new levels in all respects. Everything I love about speed is really accentuated on meth.
When I entered the area, I was greeted with a joyful display of jagged scribbles that appeared scrambled at random across my field of view.
The other modernistic interferences that occured offered a counter balance to the otherwise sober setting. It felt to me like the effect of two different perceptions interacting on the threshold of two dimensional realities.
It was a reminder, a hint at the unseen structures and numbers simultaneously at work in rendering the world we observe as matter to contemplate through our eyes and senses.
I was always careful to choose the most discreet spot to melt some crystals . I went to big trees with low branches surrounded by small and medium coniferous and with as many fern and other natural features , such as fallen trees and big stones.
Openings in the bushes are convenient shelter on windy days. Across the river from where I stood was a rather steep upward going slope.
At the top are a few cabins. After careful observation, it was hard to decide what they were. Most of them looked like old fashioned general stores, but they are probably cabins for storage.
Some of these are dark brown and reddish black tones with big rounded castle like windows in a small gothic style.
I was astounded how often I believed quickly seeing someone or people that weren’t there anymore when I looked again.
Sometimes it was so trivial, like the grandfatherly man and his granddaughter. He was on one knee, pointing at something to show the child.
The timing was off, awkward. there are never that many grandfathers and granddaughters in the woods at night.
These people appeared as perfect reality or having glowing capacities.
Others were but dark shapes. The dark outline of their form is visible in contrast with the sky and woods.
They felt to me as they were a normal part of the ecosystem. It was never threatening.
My only concern was not be seen doing anything I shouldn’t publicly flaunt.
Next is to dress and behave normally and have a credible explanation for being here at this hour.
So despite the voices I heard near the cabins, I never saw someone appear or stand there. I still kept a cautionary glance discreetly
Even when I was sure no one could see me from up there. I would also make sure no one else happen to walk by and be able to spot me.
The reason I took these precautions is because I remember thinking:
-”I sure wouldn’t want to be seen by anyone smoking the pipe!”
Because for those, and for them, it doesn’t look good at all. Especially alone in the woods at unusual times.
I could cause fear and get reported to the police as an unusual unknown man living out of social norms taking dangerous drugs that makes us scary and unpredictable.
They could fear crime, insalubrity and disorderly conduct. I would be profoundly embarrassed to give anyone reason to think this way.
If the police came and discovered the meth, pipe and pot, they would immediately confiscate and take me away as a disturbing and unwanted transient.
They don’t know how good,crystal meth will make them feel, and what it can do for them until they try it. It is hard to imagine something so powerful can be yet refined and exhilarating.
They can’t know or find out in part because of the way it is presented. They could as well show only the same kind of extreme cases and dysfunctions for alcohol,.
They would also be correct, but representing only one category of consumer. There is no representation of the other categories of consumers.
They go unnoticed because of never being seen in extreme cases. They are people of all social status. It is generally believed no one outside extreme cases use hard drugs with different results.
They have never seen the small sliver of people like me just getting high on meth having a beautiful time and go on living like normal citizens. Almost.
In these circumstances, seen as bad in every respect it is almost impossible to make a good impression using it.
The realm of possible risks and consequences is also very real, hence the importance of sticking to a limit and schedule. Equilibrium is the best strategy.
You will feel so good in your body and you will feel so good in your mind that you will appreciate the many hours blown away. You will want to try it again.
Despite all the bad press, people take drugs because they are the substances procuring a wide and unique range of physical and psychological effects
You will love meth. You will love the high, the taste and the reality of being plunged in a dream like state if its your thing.
My deep impulses were further ignited walking down the paths amid the natural sounds, though some were harder to account for.
It felt like there was an invisible warped and pleasantly distorted layer of not so subtle interaction between the both. I was surprised at how simple the explanations were about everything.
With a parcel of all these elements a scenario formed that took permanent hold.
It went like this:
As I walked, a woman would come my way, in the opposite direction. We stop to chat and I smell alcohol on her breath and I think:
“The promise of a beautiful night is ending the evening with a woman who smells like alcohol, cigarettes and woman!”
In no time we realize we’re the same, a trust and warth emanates. I quickly invite her to settle cozy with me to smoke Crystal meth and pot.
I find the perfect intimate location. We smoke meth and feel ourselves getting high. We are huddled close. I turn my head to kiss hers. Her conditionner smells so good.
She gets up to sit on my leg. Leaning her back against me, I wrap my arms around her waist, gently caressing her belly. She takes my hand and brings it to her breast.
I can feel her hardened nipple through her thin bra as she rocks and moans against me. I bring my hand down inside her pants and rub her warm pussy on top of her panties.
This was always the opening scenario. What followed was an endless array of all kinds of lustful sexual acts and desires.
Pleasant as this was however, I never met a single soul on my wanderings but I grew more intimate with the location and its layout. One incredible feature was a small but sharply rising slope, once asphalted and quite broken with large fissures.
I went up slowly, each step demanding effort. Spending three or four days awake on meth takes it
toll after a while. I was exhausted and breathless at the top. After a short rest I would carefully select a discreet to melt the crystals again.
