Introduction
No way this was going to happen
I sat down watching my favourite TV show.
Lost in thought, yet I could not fathom what deed had just been done nor the underlying meaning behind it.
The lady in the movie had actually been cheating on her husband.
The man in her bed embracing her wholely.
But when she had heard the coming of her spouse, she immediately dressed, hiding behind the door as soon at it was opened, escaping her husband's sight.
Confused, when the husband had seen the man, she came through the doorway on the top of her voice, accusing him of an affair once more.
It would have been ruled off and she would have been caught if two things had not happened.
One, the husband has had an affair once with a man.
During a period of two weeks, she had not been loved by her spouse as he ruled it off to work stress and exhaustion.
She was not aware he was busting and getting busted in buttholes.
Second, the wife was a man beater.
There's pretty much no explanation to this. It is as plain and raw as it is.
Literally as funny as it came, and it made me panic-jolt into laughter.
Wheezing through my windpipe and nostrils, I coughed vigorously.
Wetting my lips with moisture from my tongue, I sighed deeply.
As jovial and happy this moment was, it was a sharp contrast to my brutal reality.
My smile and laughter faded as quick as it came.
Once more, I was in turmoil. Looking around my room, it was a mess.
My clothes scattered as well as my underwear.
My bed in disarray, my laptop, the singlet I wore a day ago, my mouse and my headphones all lay upon my bed.
The bed sheet had a mild smell, but my duvet did stink a bit.
I removed my mind from them at once, having no zeal to wash at all.
I yawned deeply, sticking my tongue out as I did so.
I caught sight of my bra atop my room chair handle.
Staring at it for a bit, I scoffed.
Taking up my phone, I checked both the time and any incoming messages.
It was 9:15 and no messages.
No contact from anyone, just random posts.
Feeling a bit grieved, I switched the screen off and sighed.
My hair undone and definitely not in made yet.
Honestly, I preferred carrying afro not perming it nor braiding it.
Yet, I still wanted to braid it as I knew I could not maintain afro, at all.
The oversized ash tank top I wore had it's neckline sagging.
kinda stupid
I usually do say things that do not make sense or have any correlation with a particular subject.
Looking down at my beige shorts, I stretched my arms.
I am staying with my parents, yes I know it's quite not it especially as I am turning 20 soon but I actually had no where to go.
Not a job, nor skills to rake in something.
Naturally, I would have applied for a job at a restaurant or hotel but I was worried what my parents would say.
They normally do not like those type of work for their kids, instead they prefer being a sales assistant to someone.
Yet I could be none..
Besides the time when I wished to apply for such was back when I was 16 years of age.
I'm not going to apply for such anymore.
Finally standing up, I looked at the small TV I had upon my stand drifting back to my thoughts once more.
Yeah, regardless I still needed a way to get money.
My parents were not getting any younger, and they still had no personal home.
The land my father manages to get from mortgage and instalment pay was swiped from him by a mogul who offered to buy the land instantly at double the price.
Fact is, the area was once underdeveloped five years ago, but as life deemed so, development quickly enveloped the area.
And the rest are just long talk.
No personal or family car, no family home, nothing. Still living in tenancy and public transport.
My second way of at least gathering money for myself was gambling and sports betting.
I gambled alot, as well as sports betting too.
As quick as I lost money, little moments came when I raked in big ones.
Yet I lived in the moment with those funds, and within four days- it was gone and I was back on zeroes.
I have received complaints from my parents about my messiness and money wasting habit.
Truth is, I really didn't see that I was wasting money.
I do not tell them except my dad who does bet of course, to send some funds for gambling.
I only do so for one reason, and that's my third one.
The trading business. A business whereby the amount of money made is not capped but it is quite dependent on your skills, character, well being and most importantly your starting capital.
Just the way, a real business that wishes to rake in massive amounts needs massive capital, so was trading.
Yet I failed in it so.. started at 15 with my mother's account as I begged her to open it so for me.
Yet I did not give up, and kept refining myself.
Still heavy on losses, I decided to pull out a bit a month ago..
Its been close to five years now, no fucking turning point.
Honestly, I was going crazy and I am tired.
Tired of constantly trying to do something and no results.
I want to make my parents happy, rise their financial status from such gutter position.
I know I should not be negative but it's all I could think about.
And I just remembered, I have tests today in my University.
I actually never even wanted to go to university.
Was ready to end all education after high school, but my parents disagreed.
I lacked most skills as I spent most of my years refining my trading skill.
Studying Security in Technology and Computing, as well as most jobs being a bit more skill demanding.
I could tell I was lacking behind, lacking quite well.
