Confessed.
I've been picking out paddle pieces from a garden that I've crossed. Mother nature must be planning revenge on me already...But I've been good to her animals..I swear..I swear. Just..Each paddle fills my grieve from what I go through every day. The field is my safe haven. And it's plants grow faster then ever for me to pick them and break them apart all over again..A ritual I've grown used to for my past years of living... "Daniela!" Screams her mother, Her daughter flees like a happy being and a sweet soul. I wish I had that joy...I wish I had her soul... Daniela must have a happy family..she must have a happy life. Right?..
I'm only 18 and I've counted my days correctly, it's hardly been a month but can it be shortened? I don't find a reason to spend more days in a place where I need to pick paddles, to hurt mother nature to feel better. It's a blank motion at times.. and a blind road it leads, forgive me mother nature but... they feel my pain..I water them at times though it's salty but it's refreshing. Maybe that's why their growth is significant and beautiful then I thought..The floors creek although I try to stay quiet but a bottle flew to my head before I could even take my second step, my chest heaves though it's not out of fear...it's from adrenaline, from the fact that the bottle would've actually broken my fragile skin. The thought makes my heart race and puts a slight smile to my emotionless face, "You useless kid! Where's my alcohol!!"....I guess it really is a blind road and a thoughtless act of mine.."You worthless piece of garbage, you deserve to die..." It led me straight to the field..not the liquor store..Blood....Blood, blood, blood everywhere flowers..blood everywhere mother nature. Let me water you with all that's left of me...I treat your animals well mother nature.. They'll feast with all my insides.
I saw dark..then..I saw light again. Atleast I rest peacefully now...Though..My guilt still stands with you mother nature..forgive me.
And so... I've confessed.
