A Ghost
The world poisons me. Every taste of it, every whiff of its scent, inflames me. It causes my brain to itch and my chest to tighten.
The only place on Earth I didn’t feel this way was with you, and now you’re gone. I didn’t even know you were leaving; I didn’t feel you slipping away, yet away you went. We used to go together and now you’ve gone without me.
You’ve taken my safe space with you, and I want it back. I need it back, because while we spent so much effort building it together, we never figured out a way to make room for other people. We said it was because all we needed was each other, but now that I don’t have you, I have no one.
I wish we’d had some sort of argument. I wish you’d fought with me, or made a scene, anything that I could hold onto as proof we were doomed or dead. Some singular moment that made me understand why you left and gave me a clue as to what went wrong would be so helpful to hold onto and grow from.
I don’t even have someone else to talk about it with, there are no witnesses to what we shared together. We built a world around just each other, where you swore you’d protect me from the other world outside. Where I swore I’d comfort you after you were exposed to the worst the outside had to offer.
Things were working. I really believed they were working. Now I don’t know what to believe and there are so many questions I need answered. How long until I stop blaming myself for what you’ve done? How long until it doesn’t hurt just to breathe?
How did you come to believe that the best way to leave the world we built together was to pretend it never existed? Did you hit your head? Did someone seduce you? You were the most certain person I’d ever met so how could you change your mind so suddenly about something so important?
I’ve never seen you talked out of anything. When they did that franchise prequel everyone else hated, you swore time was going to be on your side in the end. How could you be so confident about CGI dragons but back away from your own engagement without even a fight?
How could you do this to us?
